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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this nurse really didn't know what she was doing

57 replies

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/10/2011 09:59

Last week DD2 (2.5) fell and gashed her forehead.

Took her to the minor injury clinic and they said it warranted some attention.

Anyway she was good as gold, lay on the bed let the nurse clean her up etc. Nurse then said she would put some glue in it, it may sting a little, she was on my lap, well as soon as the glue touched the cut DD screamed and threw her hand up to her head and rubbed the cut, and rubbed the glue into her eye which glued her eye shut. DH and I then had to hold her down while they bathed her eye open. By the time they had done this she was hysterical, had busted the cut open again but wouldn't let anyone near it, so we had to leave it open, nurse gave us some steri strips to take away.

I just thought this was an unfortunate incident but having mentioned it to a couple of people they have said you have to be so so so careful using glue near children's eyes and that this had not been done properly, normally you would steri strip first and then put the glue over the top and make sure the child's arms were held firmly. If the nurse had said, "right this will sting quite a bit so hold her firm for 10 seconds by which time the glue will have dried" we could have avoided the whole sorry incident.

DD won't let anyone near her head now even just to clip her fringe out of her face.

The nurse was mortified and I imagine has learnt this isn't the way to do this in the future, but I am pretty annoyed DD (and me) had to go through this.

OP posts:

ConstanceTenchOfZombies · 31/10/2011 10:28

When DS1 had his preschool jab the nurse instructed me to hold him firmly and gave me that certain 'look' to confirm back that I understood what was about to happen.

However with DS2, different nurse, she said nothing but I was prepared.

Perhaps this nurse was inexperienced with children, I would have thought that knowing it was going to sting like hell she could have subtly instructed you to hold her.

ConstanceTenchOfZombies · 31/10/2011 10:31

I agree with larry about instructing emotional parents.

I think when DS1 was jabbed I had it written all over my face that I was worried about my PFB being hurt and the nurse picked up in this

Perhaps the second nurse with DS2 could see I was in control and didn't feel the need to instruct me?

valiumredhead · 31/10/2011 10:32

I take it as well that all of you saying it is my fault and nothing to do with the nurse, would have been completely chilled out about your child's eye being glued up and not felt that the whole situation could have been handled a bit better on both sides....?

But your OP doesn't say that, you ask if the nurse knew what she was doing.

Original poster

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/10/2011 10:34

*Valium" well she didn't did she? Granted I didn't know what I was doing either but having never had to take a child to have her head glued up before I didn't know what to expect. If this sort of thing ever happens again I will be well prepared.

I have said in subsequent posts that yes I take some blame too but it feels as if a lot of people think that the Nurse is totally blameless in the whole event.

OP posts:

ConstanceTenchOfZombies · 31/10/2011 10:38

whoneedssleep I didn't know what I was doing either but having never had to take a child to have her head glued up before

It's on page 37 love, haven't you read the manual?

Original poster

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/10/2011 10:39

Constance , must remember to check that first next time!

OP posts:

cory · 31/10/2011 10:40

How do we know it does sting like hell just because one toddler went ballistic? Dd went ballistic if you touched a wound of hers with clean water.

tiredemma · 31/10/2011 10:41

Are you saying that you wanted the nurse to do the glue bit and hold your daughter firmly?

I have read your OP three times and can't see how the nurse did anything 'wrong'?

larrygrylls · 31/10/2011 10:41

I don't think you take any blame :). I think the nurse made your life really hard and traumatised your daughter. In your position, I would send in a strong letter of complaint.

bunnyspoiler · 31/10/2011 10:42

i've glued a million wounds together and to be honest it isn't painful. It may give a very very mild sting. The nurse should have told you to grip her tightly (and I'm sure she will from now on!) but if she wasn't wriggling or protesting much when it was being cleaned up she might have had a false sense of security. It will scar anyway I'm afraid. I would never put steristrips on first btw.

Original poster

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/10/2011 10:43

tiredemma it is in the fourth paragraph

If the nurse had said, "right this will sting quite a bit so hold her firm for 10 seconds by which time the glue will have dried" we could have avoided the whole sorry incident.

OP posts:

squeakyfreakytoy · 31/10/2011 10:44

A letter of complaint? The poor nurse did nothing wrong!

Original poster

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/10/2011 10:45

Bunny thanks.

I think the moral of the whole story is never assume anything when it comes to toddlers.....

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadow · 31/10/2011 10:46

Are you not always prepared for hysteria and flailing limbs when taking a toddler to the doctors, for whatever reason? Anything can cause this. Looking into the ear, the throat, etc? It is a question of being in the moment, and being prepared to suddenly tense muscles and hold on tight.

tiredemma · 31/10/2011 10:46

You should tell the Daily Mail.

They seem to hate nurses at the moment. We are all bone idle lazy scum who leave old people starving to death in their own piss.

Hope your daughters head is ok and doesn't end up with a nasty scar. (DS2 2 got hit in the forehead with a spade last year- scar is not pleasant- he didn't want us near his head for a few days but he soon settled down.

larrygrylls · 31/10/2011 10:47

Emma,

How hard is it really? The nurse should have known the risks when using this glue, so she should have:

1/ Instructed the mother to hold her v tightly and, if necessary, put her arms in the right position so as her daughter's arms were totally restrained.

2/ Above all else, kept an eye on what was happening and prevented glue going anywhere near her eyes.

It sounds like she was lacadaisically going through the procedure and lost control. Now the OP has to deal with a traumatised toddler who is hardly going to acquiesce to being examined, dressings being changed etc. In her position, I would be furious.

ScarahStratton · 31/10/2011 10:48

I've had glue and steristrips very recently. It doesn't sting any more than a bit of cold water on a wound. I really don't think you can blame the nurse, your DD was fine about it being cleaned and she told you to hold her.

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 31/10/2011 10:49

If you just want a rant about the nurse, AIBU is not best place as you will hear things you don't want to hear.

Sounds traumatic for you both though

Original poster

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/10/2011 10:53

Tiredemma I don't hate the nurse....everyone seems to be turning me into some kind of hysterical nurse hating parent, where have I said I have any intention to complain, I don't.

But I am very bemused that almost everyone universally seems to think that I was the one completely at fault here and she was blameless.

Yes I should have held her tighter but it all happened so quickly, my point from the outset is her instructions were poor...and as Larry quite rightly points out she was the professional in this situation.

OP posts:

clam · 31/10/2011 10:54

Who's more likely to know how your DD might react to pain, you or the nurse? Some kids wouldn't have even flinched, mine others would have screamed for a general anaesthetic. She warned you it might sting (and I second the point that that's a euphemism for "hang on to your hats") and that was your cue to get prepared. Medical staff are unlikely to say "this is going to be agony," after all. Pre-empts a whole load of other problems.

Original poster

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/10/2011 10:57

Fanjo you are probably right...

I wasn't asking for everyone to say "The nurse should be struck off, how terrible etc etc" but I wanted to see what people thought as friends and family have said they thought it was handled poorly.

It does sometimes feel in AIBU that people just chose to completely disagree with the OP and I often wonder if they would take that same stance if the boot was on the other foot.

Anyway the general consensus seems to be IABU so I will just add it to the list of lessons I have learned as a parent...

OP posts:

borderslass · 31/10/2011 11:00

Kids don't come with a manual, we learn as we go on mine are now 20, 17 and 16 and believe me i've had many visits to A&E it gets easier with time.
Don't be to hard on yourself your DD will get over it.

lashingsofbingeinghere · 31/10/2011 11:01

YANBU I think this is a case of two sides making assumptions - nurse that parents did have a firm enough hold, and parents assuming the glue would not upset their toddler to such a dramatic extent. Imo the nurse, as the professional, should have told the parents to take a very firm grip, because she knew the consequences of not doing so.

ShouldDoZombieKilling · 31/10/2011 11:18

I am not sure that blame is the right word and I would imagine that the nurse probably feels quite bad about it anyway, and not all nurses particularly in A&E have a lot of paediatric experience so she may not have expected the reaction from your dd.
The nurse should probably have mentioned that you should hold your dd tightly but she did warn you that it may sting and presumed that you were holding onto her, and since your dd had behaved so well previously that it gave both of you a false sense of security. She could not turn around and say this will hurt like hell (which it doesn't) as that would have scared your dd
Either way it sounds like an unfortunate accident that may have been prevented by either party

GothAnneGeddes · 31/10/2011 11:32

I've had a wound glued, it didn't sting and yes glue before steri strips, just like you have stitches before steri strips. Also, facial lacerations scar generally.

Here's how I think it went from the nurse's point of view:

The little girl is sitting very well for the cleaning (this is unusual in a toddler), so she probably won't mind the glue. I'll give the parents a little warning that it might sting (otherwise they might think I'm trying to hurt their child on purpose, or it's my fault it hurts), but if I ask them to suddenly grip her tight, the little girl might start panicking and thrashing over that, so I'll just glue it asap... then all hell breaks loose.

If it's any consolation, that nurse is probably still having cold sweats over it. Not because she's unprofessional (funny how nurses professionalism is so quick to be called into question, because we're obviously a bit uppity for thinking of ourselves as professionals in the first place, isn't that right Larry?), but because she will beating herself over it.

So OP, YABU, she sounds like she did know what she was doing in regards to wound repair, she thought the quick and quiet method would work, but your toddler thought otherwise

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