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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my DCs won't be farm kids :(

13 replies

poppysmithnow · 30/10/2011 20:50

I'm a farm girl from a tiny little village deep in midwales.
I live in a flat in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the USA with DP who is definatly a city boy.
I get on fine with it - I have a job, friends etc and DPs family live in same city

getting closer and closer to popping with our triplets (ahhh)

I miss the country, with grass and mud and sheep and cows and wellies.

AIBU to feel really sad that my DCs will be city kids not country ones?

OP posts:
Secrecy · 30/10/2011 20:51

City kids or farm kids - it doesn't matter - they will be YOUR kids.

HumphreyCobbler · 30/10/2011 20:53

you are allowed to feel a bit sad but think of all the fabulous and exciting things that you can do with them in a big city Smile

I live in the country in wales, and your life sounds rather exciting to me Grin

congratulations! Triplets. How fabulous.

amistillscary · 30/10/2011 20:54

Never say never, Poppy . I thought my city life was definately here to stay 78 years ago when DS1 was born, but now I see tractors trundling past my windows and can walk on moors, through fields or woods within minutes of leaving my front door!

boohoobabywho · 30/10/2011 21:38

they dont have to live in the countryside to appreciate it. x
good luck x

MrBloomsNursery · 30/10/2011 21:41

amistillscary - 78 years ago?!!! Are you a ghost?

Esta3GG · 30/10/2011 22:12

Bollocks to all the countryside business - I am much more concerned about you dealing with triplets in a flat - I hope to feck you are on the ground floor.

Original poster
poppysmithnow · 31/10/2011 08:30

I just miss it all :( even the cowpats :P
ohh and esta nope top floor.

OP posts:
AlpinePony · 31/10/2011 08:32

My parents are close to llandod. I miss the scenery, but the job market isn't so clever. And everyone knows everyone's business.

We live in a small dutch town now, but we will one day return to the middle of pissing nowhere. I get you.

Mind you, check out BBC Wales for how many drunk/dodge teachers in powys over the last year. ;)

CurwySwide · 31/10/2011 10:06

YANBU but I think you may have a slightly romantic view of living in the countryside.

I also grew up in mid Wales and yes it is lovely and pretty, but it is also inconvenient, there is a lack of jobs and opportunities, and I agree with AlpinePony everyone knows your business, often before you know yourself. Young people move away to find work and the demographic grows older and older.

Your children will have a fantastic range of experiences and opportunities and the countryside is never that far away for holidays and days out.

Good luck with the triplets!

working9while5 · 31/10/2011 10:14

All immigrants are overly romantic! Dh is a farm boy, youngest of three.. so has to cope with his brother living in a six bedroom beauty of a house overlooking a stunning mountain view. His brother, by order of birth, lives on the land, out in the fresh air, raising his kids etc while dh slaves away in a windowless office before coming home to a cooped up 2 bed ex-council house in a grotty urban estate, miles from the nearest fields, where rats and crows are wildlife.

Farming is a hard life, of course.. it is unstable and costly and you are a hostage to fortunes decided by the Common Agricultural Policy of the EU and other such governmental decisions. A rogue virus can destroy your herd. You have to work all the hours of all the days of all the weeks and flexibility is limited.

Yet you can touch your work, it is real and tangible and as my dh says, he loves the bones of the place. Office work doesn't really replace that and dh will yearn for it all his life.

AKMD · 31/10/2011 10:19

YABU because you get triplets Envy and when you actually do visit the countryside you will stay long enough to appreciate the nice bits but not long enough to noitice all the boring/inconvenient bits.

jasonlovesme · 31/10/2011 20:39

They'll get 3 mnths off in the summer just ship them back to mid-wales on the farm.
Good luck for the triplets and top floor :0 .....I don't envy you

2ddornot2dd · 31/10/2011 20:51

I grew up on a farm in Yorkshire, my elder brother lives there still, with his children who are roughly the same age as mine (3 and 1). I live in suburban Manchester and nothing on this earth would make me move back (Even though I love it and visit nearly every week).

  1. The children cannot meet their friends without getting in a car. This means they are completely reliant on lifts, and will be until they are in their teens. DN's social skills are already behind my daughters because she just doesn't mix with as many children.
  1. Their mother, who grew up in a town feels very isloated, with only her MIL and FIL (my parents) for company, when my brother is at work.
  1. No steady income - farming doesn't make a huge income for most farmers, (much less than the minimum wage in most cases) and if you are ill you cannot take a day off. My brother had a burst appendix and was working again less than two weeks later. In the meantime my 70yr old Dad covered for him, but that might not be possible again.
  1. The loneliness. I remember being a teenager, and not seeing my friends for weeks in the holidays, because my parents were too busy to take me, and my brothers had left home. I could easily go 2-3 weeks without seeing anyone my own age.

I can understand missing the fresh air, but really living on a farm isn't the be all and end all. Good luck with your babies though

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