to be upset about

[ghostmummy]

exh has a girlfriend who stayed at his house with her ds 12 and her dd 9. my dd13 went to stay and to cut a long story short shared a bed with her ds ..........Ii thought that he should have shared with his sister or my dd could have shared with her.I am so mad about this. exh has been with this woman 3 years they dont live together she has her own home. He says he told them they had to separate??

Why did he tell them they had to separate? Had they been arguing during the night or something?

Was your DD happy to share with him?

bloody hell!!! a 12yo and a 13yo in the same bed, is a recipe for disaster of many kinds..

why on earth not put the two girls together???

It depends on whether the lads minded or not.

What did your DS say about it?

And what is it that's making you mad?

Recipe for disaster in what way squeaky?

YANBU - I'd be really cross about it too. As you say, why didn't the girls share? I think your DD is too old to be sharing with her son. Did you say anything to your ex?

Agent - if I read OP right, it wasn't siblings sharing. It was OP's DD and ex's new partner's DS.

Agent.... 12yo boy and 13yo girl in a bed together.... not two of the same sex...

I know what I was doing at not much past 13, and I know what a lot of my peers were doing well before that age...

Not acceptable at all. They are not the right age to be sharing a bed, five year olds sure, 12/13 not on.

Is the woman a demented fuckwit?

Sorry not appropriate at all, they are not siblings! They are teenagers not young kids.

I would be very unhappy with it. YANBU

What reason did your ex give when you asked him about it OP?

I did get a bit confused there (easily done ) and mistakenly think the OP had a DS who stopped in bed with her exs gfs DS.

I can see why it'd be inappropriate for her DD to stop in bed with a DS not her sibling, but then I'm confused about how I've shifted so easily from being OK about it.

Nothing to do with the OP, but surely if it's because they'd be up to no good, the 'risk' would be similar if it was a lad and lad?

More unlikely though Agent. Teens are prone to experiment anyway.. putting two young teens in the midst of their puberty into the same bed is like handing it to them on a plate. Or it is putting one of them at risk of being pressured by the other. Or it makes one or both feel very uncomfortable.

Whichever way, it is bloody irresponsible and thoughtless, and I am amazed that a mother would not see that too and would be happy to do it.

Totally agree with Squeaky. I would be mad with ex for allowing this to happen. I would be insisting that DD does not stay with her father on a night when this woman and her children are staying over unless he can ensure this doesn't happen again. Is there a law about siblings of a certain age and opposite sex sharing a bedroom, let alone unrelated children.

There is no law as such. There are regulations which apply to social housing, and over-crowding, but again that would only be for permanent living situations.

However I am amazed that two supposedly responsible adult can see no wrong in this. Had it been a camping trip, and 3 kids were sharing a tent, with separate sleeping bags, that would be a completely different matter. Even if the two were in the house but on sofas.. but to put them in the same BED together is just wrong.

jelly 15 that is what i have said. I am sure nothing untoward happened but it doesnt send them the right message for the future. exh said that he had tried (obvs not v hard ) to separate them!

my dd didnt see it as weird, but i made sure she knows for future she wont b staying at his whilst they stay. imo its odd that they stay there.

Why is it odd that they stay there?!

Yes it's odd they share a room but I woul not say its fair to say she can't stay at her dads if the other kids are there?

What?!

What do you mean he tried to separate them?

What were his reasons for them being in the same bed?

kayano they have their own home nearby, its odd because they sleep in my kid's rooms. apparently the ds of the girlfriend didnt want to sleep in with his sister ???? so decides to sleep in with my dd!!!