AIBU to not let IL's have the DC next weekend?

[muffinflop]

DH and I are going away next weekend without the DC (6 and 4). MIL was desperate to have them while we were away instead of them going to my parents who live much closer. So I agreed, the kids were looking forward to it. But MIL has just been to visit and said they have bought a new rather large dog.

Both my children are terrified of dogs. I'm not sure where it stems from but that's how they are. I told MIL this (even though she already knew) and she replied with 'oh they'll be fine, I'll shut them in a room with her until they realise what a softy she is'!!

DD is very sensitive at the moment after an incident at school (not dog related!) which knocked her confidence and trust of anyone completely and I dread to think what shutting her in a room with a dog which, when on it's 2 back legs, will be bigger than her will do to her.

So AIBU to not let them stay with MIL? DH said he'll speak to her and tell her she's to keep the dog away from the kids but I don't feel she should have to shut her own pet away. I know full well that, even though I told her not to force the dog on the kids, she'll think she knows best and do it anyway

I'll shut them in a room with her until they realise what a softy she is

Over my rotting corpse!

I think you would be really unfair to the children to make them stay there. I'm sure they will grow to love the dog, but at the moment, dogs scare them and it would be awful to have to be in a house with them.

Your MIL sounds crazy if she thinks the best way to get children to lose their fear of dogs is to lock them in a room with her. I would have very strong words with her over that.

Take the children to meet the dog and stay by their sides throughout. Only let them stay without you when they're totally confident with the dog (and when you're sure the dog is harmless.)

YANBU and the MIL is deeply irresponsible (and I say this as someone who prefers all dogs to most humans!).

The breed of the dog is irrelevant... only an idiot would introduce a dog which has just been taken into their home to young DC in the way you describe MILs intentions. That's how bites and snaps, scared or injured DC and dead dogs happen. On NO account should an introduction be forced so that the dog can't escape the DC and neither should a child and a new dog be left together unsupervised .

Just as wrong is your DH. You can NOT tell someone to lock their pet away to accomodate visitors, no matter who they are IMHO - that's not ONLY bloody rude (he'd be told to fuck off if he suggested it to me!) it's also likely to cause confusion with the dog and be more likely too to incite him to barrel the DC over in excitement when he DOES meet them.

Linerunner says it all really - until you can supervise for yourself the interaction between your DC and the dog and until you can educate your bloody MIL send them instead to the care of your own DPs and prevent the worry and potential problems/fallout with MIL.

Oh, and would add like fuzzysnout and dogsbestfriend I am a dog-lover.

So we are all agreed.

Is that a first?!

It must be, LineRunner. Blimey! :o

Also, I'm guessing that if it is large, it's adult and therefore likely to be a rescue dog. If it's from a reputable rescue, then they will have done extensive home-checks and possibly only allowed the dog to be re-homed there because there are no children. And then yours turn up!

And if it's not from a reputable rescue, then who knows what it'll be like with children. 'Specially if they're scared.