To allow these shits to get their own way?

[ArtyFartyPants]

Thought I'd get a better response here instead of posting in 'legal'
Long story but I'll try to simplify it:
• split with DS's very abusive 'dad' 3years ago after being together on and off
• ex was in prison for 2 and a half years of this time for drug dealing.
• since I've left his family, ( dad, mum and 6 sisters) have been taking me to court to try and get custody of my DS
• allegations of me starving, hitting, locking my DS in his room etc were made for months. They even followed me dropping my DS off to school then calling the school up and saying they had seen me dragging and hitting my DS.
• several police welfare checks and social worker visits proved all accusations false.
• prompted me to up sticks and move to
London to get away from them.
• ongoing court battle for contact for the past 3years, now dad is out of prison it's even more worse. Making me out to be the bad person, I'm preventing my DS from contact. No my DS has told me he doesn't want to see any of them, he's 8 almost 9, apparently 'too young' to understand.
• weekly phone contact for the past 2years, same questions are asked to my DS and they receive the same reply. DS has not even said hello to his dad, and it's been over a year since he got realised from prison. IMO that says it all.
• we've bumped into ex and his sisters in numerous occasions and DS hasn't said a word to them and barely looked at them.
• one off contact at a contact centre happened in June, when my DS ran out the room after 15mins.

There's loads more but I'm getting pissed off just going through it.
Received a letter from my solicitor this morning referring to the court hearing that took place on weds. They're asking for 4 more contact sessions as they felt it went well? FFs my DS never spoke once and ran out the room! He doesn't speak to his dad on the phone, he doesn't understand his paternal grandparents ( they speak a different language and don't know English ). AND he's expressed on many occasions to court professionals that he doesn't wish to see any of his paternal family.
Fuck my life really
On the plus side I've settled with a lovely man, who DS adores and gets on well, we've also just found out I'm pregnant! Woooo
Now just need to make the court listen to what my DS wants not what they want! Grrrrrr

Ok rant over....

Why did you not attend the court hearing?

Where 'contact' sheets kept and put to court?

Was it a 'guardian' that your DS expressed his wishes to?

How good is your solicitor, it doesn't sound as though he is fighting your DS's corner?

Good luck. Keep sticking up for your DS, supporting his wishes, be consistent and keep an accurate record of everything that is said and done. Courts aren't stupid and they'll see through the lies and flannel if you're persistent. I don't know what age your DS is demed to be old enough to decide who to see and who not to see but I suspect it won't be far away.

Congratulations. :)

This is NOT advice, this is a vent from a woman who has experienced a violent marriage and a shitty, feckless father to her children.

If I were in your shoes I'd be informing my ex, via large and fearless third parties, to stay away from my child and I completely and permanently. Let's just say that having had that information my ex would be left in no uncertainty of the wisdom in staying very well away and the consequences if he didn't. So, no, YANBU, and I wouldn't allow the shits to get their own way.

I'll leave the advice to others who will no doubt know how to suggest you handle this legally. All I can add is that my blood boils for women in your situation and I would like to put a rocket up the ass of the idiot who decided that it is almost always going to be a legal obligation for a child to have contact with his/her father no matter what the man's done to the mother and no matter what his motives are for that contact.

I hope so much you obtain the result that you want and which is kind and fair to your son, yourself and your new family.