to think my friend is being rude?

[WinkyWinkola]

I asked her what days she and her dcs were free over half term. We met up in the two days she specified.

She's now hurt that I took two other children to a show in another day. I got free tickets through dh's work.

I said to her I'd asked her what days she was free and she responded that had she known I had tickets she says she would have cancelled all other arrangements for that day.

I feel her annoyance with me is out of order. We are very close as are our dcs but does that mean I have to automatically give them first refusal over events like this?

Her annoyance with you is out of order. It's not like you set out to deprive her.

She sounds like dh's SIL, she's very unreasonable and being pathetic.

YANBU at all.

She's just jealous about the show and tbh- if she had cancelled a pre-planned event to go out with some other friend I would have been very upset and felt that I was only good enough until something else comes alone.

YANBU, she is rude

YANBU, she IBU, but if she is a good friend just smooth it over. She's being silly but presumably not always like this?

YANBU. Not only is she presumptive she's also got a bleedin' cheek to say, in effect, that she was too busy to see you on X day... unless you had something which would benefit her, in which case she'd have deigned to change her plans and meet with you.

See SecretNutella, that's what I felt too.

Plus I'd like my dcs to have a few other
friends.

We have friends like this.
I actually feel guilty doing things without asking them if they want to join us :(
YANBU

YANBU, she is. She knew you had tickets to see a show on a particular day and even though she indicated that she wasn't available to meet up on that day, she's now getting arsey about you taking 2 other kids. Sounds like she has a sense of entitlement.