to just bloody well give up?

[NoobyNoob]

Since being weaned onto solid chunkier food, DS (now 20 months) has been a right fussy eater. Previous to this, he ate what DH and I ate which were things like lasagne, roast chicken, mild curry all blended up, so it wasn't a problem.

I am so fed up and sick to the back teeth of trying to get him to eat something. I really have tried everything. Shit, I've even taken him to McDonalds and KFC in a bid to get him to eat some sort of meat or chips!

What the hell am I doing wrong here? Here is a list below of things he will eat:

Bread of any shape or form with butter or jam
Mash
Crisps
Wheatabix
Porridge - depending on what mood he's in
Apple
Banana
Raw carott
The odd bit of cucumber

That's it. I've tried every type of veg, fresh and frozen. I've tried tinned pasta, fresh pasta, chicken, mince, sausages, potatoes (apart from mash), pizza, fish (fresh and frozen) fast food....I could go on.

Is this really part of the whole toddler stage? That's what people keep telling me and he'll grow out of it.

He has been at nursery today, and usually I pick him up just before lunch. Today he had a Halloween party so he had lunch there. He didn't eat a single thing, on the menu was sausage piw with beans, he didnt eat anything. So Ive picked him up and all he's had is toast for breakfast and a few party snacks.

So, AIBU to utterly give in? It's starting to really stress me out and at nearly 30 weeks pg I could do without it.

(I should state that he seems fine, he has energy and acts like a normal child would - climbing everything in sight and running around)

Do you let him eat by himself with his hands? Or are you still spoon feeding him? Maybe let him play with the food a bit so he can experiment himself?

He feeds himself, he's been able to since around 14 months. I literally put the food in front of him with the cuttlery, and he's free to use that or his hands.

Stop trying so hard. Fussy eating can sometimes be a way of getting parental attention from toddler. Sit down to eat as a family. Put his food in front of him if when you have finished take his plate away, unless he is still eating, without a fuss or trying to persuade him to eat.

Don't give him lots of stuff to fill up on if he doesn't eat his meal.

I used to make such a fuss, but now I know better. I thought that was the problem, that I was just making too much of a deal, but I've stopped doing that and it still doesn't seem to work :(

I have to nip out now, but I'll be back soon.

It looks very limited as a list..but think of it from the nutritional view. Carbs from bread, mash and porridge. Fats from butter. Vitamins from carrot, apple and potato. Roughage from weetabix. Is he really missing out on anything important? Calcium maybe? Protein seems to be the only real gap.
I think it is hard to really pretend that you don't mind - kids always know deep down that you are bothered.

Sounds like my DB. He even had a dry bread phase when that was all he'd eat for about 6 months, then expanded to (not-nice)ham on dry bread.

DM&D tried everything, then gave up as per intructions from the GP. Even remember him having a giant Yorkshire with candles on for his birthday. Dry. And Empty. He was in his element.

He's now 27 and eats...better. Well, it's possible to go to a restaurant with him without being embarrassed, but he'll still have something ungravied, unsauced with minimal veggies.

I have no idea how he copes with the food he eats, but he does.

You have my sympathy - my 18 month DS is very similar. He's my fourth child so you'd think I'd know what I was doing, but he's eating almost nothing, which means his sleeping is absolutely appalling. I have tried spoon feeding, not spoon feeding, finger foods etc - about the only thing he's eating is toast, grapes and fish fingers....he masticates things and then just spits them out. He'll eat yoghurt and pureed fruit, and loves anything sweet - but he is a nightmare with his savoury stuff....

Am just trying to remain calm in the face of his indifference to eating - he is a good weight and is full of energy. Both the GP and the HV are unconcerned.....so I guess I'm trying to be.

My uncle, who is a GP, told me that if all he will eat is fish fingers, just cook those for him for every meal. He'll soon decide to try something else!!

From the age of about 16 months until he was about 3 years old, my DS would only eat:

yogurt
biscuits
toast
mashed potato/ sweet potato
chips
sausages
spaghetti hoops
sweetcorn and peas
plain pasta
banana
cheddar cheese

That was the list. That was all he would eat. He wouldn't touch meat or fish, most fruit and veg, rice, cous cous, anything in a sauce, any common dish e.g. lasagne, shepherd's pie, roast dinner etc. He even disliked chocolate

Around nursery age (3/4 I guess) he started to get a little bit braver with trying foods. He is now nearly 7 and fairly fussy, but nothing like what he used to be. He can find something on any restaurant menu that he'll eat now, and he eats foods from every food group and will try most things, even if he decides (which he often does) that he doesnt like it.

Its so hard, isn't it? You have my sympathies. I wold just try to be patient a little longer, give him variations of the food he likes and offer new foods now and then with no pressure. One day he will very likely surprise you by trying some of it.

My DCs were not in the same league but certainly went through fussy periods. One thing that sometimes worked was to give them the stuff I knew they would eat, but made sure that I and/or DP sat down and ate with them. So the child regularly saw us eating other stuff with enjoyment. If we were eating something that I thought they might like I would offer a bit from my meal. Sometimes they took it, sometimes not, but looking back it was the beginning of them broadening their tastes.

taste buds develop, so the whole array changes. Factor in texture.

My middle ate anything and everything in the pure stage, He is the fussiest bugger now.

Youngest (ASD) has 'heat' issues with food but will happily eat anything raw.

Provided its a balanced diet - as they say - dont sweat the little things.

I learned to blender veg and hide it in other things. They still dont know I hide spinach in gravy

My daughter started to get fussy around the same age I think. Prior to that she'd eat anything. At the same time she started to refuse the high chair and wanted to play instead.

She's nearly three now and she's still fussy, but I've sort of sussed what she will eat and what she won't. I occasionally offer her different things and she may or may not accept them.

I've stopped worrying about it so much and I think her attitude has slightly improved as I've relaxed. I just concentrate on trying to offer food which she will eat and try and balance it as much as I can.

As far as I've read, it's very normal for a child (evolutionary response: protection from poisonous foods in the wild by choosing bland tasting foods, or something like that). I've also read that it's hereditary, if you or your DH was a fussy eater - there's a greater chance that your DC will be.

God this takes me back - you are not alone!

One thing to remember: after 12 months, children's growth really slows down and hence they don't need as many calories. My oldest dd barely ate a thing for a year from 1 to 2. I swear she survived on a few cheerios and raisins. They are also exerting their independence at this age and starting to realise they can make choices.

I would second not trying too hard. Just keep offering a variety of things in SMALL PORTIONS. The mistake lots of people make is too present a huge plate of food for a very small child. Give a small amount and he can always have more if he finishes that.

And relax really. I know how hard it is with your first child, hell I used to regularly cry over dd's high chair but I can honestly say when I look at my 10 year old who eats a bigger breakfast than me I look back and wondered what I was worried about!

does he eat pureed foods? drink milk? eat eggs?

if he eats ppureed food, and you think he is not getting the right balance nutrionally, give him some purree and also some of the chunky stuff he eats. then he gets nutrients and textured foods. dd was having "hidden vegetable tomato sauce" on her pasta for ages and ages and ages and has only just, at 4 started to eat chunky bits of carrot.