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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop DP smoking in his place of work

16 replies

CauldronOfBrownJoy · 27/10/2011 21:08

DP owns and runs his own restaurant.

He smokes like a chimney and I hate it. He's not legally allowed to smoke in the restaurant but often once service is finished he lets the guests who are staying for a drink smoke inside. He also smokes inside the restaurant.

AIBU to take his lit cigarette, and the ashtray, and chuck it into the garden?

I can see that this may be emasculating, especially in front of customers, but seriously, it's rank and its illegal too...

AIBU?

OP posts:
Sandalwood · 27/10/2011 21:16

A smoking lock in at a restaurant?
Where did you say?

Original poster
CauldronOfBrownJoy · 27/10/2011 21:19

I know, stupid but here in Germany customers can drink as long as they like, but can only smoke in private members clubs.

So basically after service (around 9:30) when most of the customers have gone its smoking central. Probably because its chuffing cold outside.

However, I want to know that if I obviously stop him in front of guests, am I making him look a twat? I don't want to henpeck him, but it IS illegal and it IS gross...

OP posts:
fatlazymummy · 27/10/2011 21:21

Well you could grass him up to the council.
Or you could treat him like an adult and let him run his own business as he sees fit. I know which I'd do, and I speak as an ex smoker who doesn't allow smoking in my house.

MenopausalHaze · 27/10/2011 21:21

Sounds great to me - where is this place?

Original poster
CauldronOfBrownJoy · 27/10/2011 21:24

I see where you're coming from fatlazymummy. I'm usually the least controlling person in the world but I'm also one of those annoying ex smokers who can smell fags from 3 miles away and I hate it!

We're also ttc so I'm desperately trying to persuade him to give up/smoke less.

We're in the Eifel, MenopausalHaze, in far West Germany Smile

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/10/2011 21:25

You just never ever kiss him within 24 hours of him smoking. See how he likes THAT.

ImperialBlether · 27/10/2011 21:26

Oh and calculate what he spends in cigarettes and match it for yourself.

Original poster
CauldronOfBrownJoy · 27/10/2011 21:28

Oh so tempting Imperial but might not do much for our ttc prospects!!!

OP posts:
squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 21:29

So, once the doors are closed, does it effectively become a private club. In that case it is not illegal as such.

It also probably (I would think) creates a fair deal of business in what are crappy economic times.

I would be inclined to let him get on with it, as long as he isnt smoking in your home.

HoorahHenrietta · 27/10/2011 21:29

If I wasn't pregnant I'd be on a plane and living in your restaurant. A wonderful oasis to smoke and drink and not be cold.

Leave him alone.

colken · 27/10/2011 21:30

Doesn't he realise that the stink remaining in the morning will drive customers away? And cigarette smoke alters the colour of the paintwork, doesn't it?

ImperialBlether · 27/10/2011 21:30

Well, I assume he wants a baby as much as you do? Withhold what he wants!

Original poster
CauldronOfBrownJoy · 27/10/2011 21:40

Imperial arghhhhh can I? Really?

Bah I think I'm going to have to accept that its his funeral place of business.

Bollocks.

OP posts:
fatlazymummy · 27/10/2011 21:44

As an ex smoker yourself then, you must realise that he won't stop, or try to, until he feels ready. It's pointless trying to embarass him or manipulate him into doing so.

Original poster
CauldronOfBrownJoy · 27/10/2011 21:54

yes I get that, fatlazymummy. I am understanding (most of the time) Smile

OP posts:
NJE · 28/10/2011 00:08

CauldronOfBrownJoy Where in the Eifel are you?

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