Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop my parents buying DD a new DS this Christmas?

76 replies

oopslateagain · 27/10/2011 19:20

DD is 13, an only child and the only GD for my parents. For Christmas she has the choice of a 'big' gift with a few little bits (books, sweets etc), or several smaller nice gifts.

For Christmas two years ago, DH and I went halfs with my parents to buy her a laptop to use for schoolwork. Last year, we bought her a DSi as her old DSLite was five years old and starting to fall apart.

This year she has asked for an iPod Touch. While chatting about Christmas at my parent's house, she mentioned in passing that she would love the new 3-D DS. Now my mum has said she wants to buy it.

I said no. Nintendo are going to bring out a new DS every bloody year, and I am not making a habit of replacing something yearly that is going to be out of date as soon as I get it out of the box.

She is getting the iPod Touch, and I have said that my parents can go half with us if they want. My mum is very Hmm and is implying that IABU to refuse to let her buy DD the new DS.

I think that DD needs to know that the world does not drop into her lap every time she asks.

Her birthday is not long after Christmas, mum said she could buy the DS for her then. But I still don't want her to. I think one big gift a year is fine, and she will want iTunes vouchers for her birthday if she gets the iPod for Christmas.

So, AIBU?

I should add, there's no chance of mum going out and buying it on her own as she has zero idea of 'new technology' and wouldn't know a DS from a GPS.

OP posts:
dexter73 · 27/10/2011 19:52

Depends which Ipad you get. My dd has this one which is £399. It's great.

Original poster
oopslateagain · 27/10/2011 19:57

She has played with an iPad in a shop, she WANTS the iPod Touch. I know the iPad has lots more stuff on it, but she wants something she can carry in her pocket and play music and games on.

OP posts:
Putrifyno · 27/10/2011 20:32

a big iTunes voucher would be good then....

FabbyChic · 27/10/2011 20:36

Children should not get laptops for Christmas they are a necessity not something that should be given as a gift.

Your Mother should be able to buy her what she likes, it's her money if she wants to spoil her she should be allowed to.

I'd hate it if in years to come my children told me how much I could spend on my grand children.

Christmas and Birthdays are but once a year, I don't see your point. You sound tight as arseholes. It's not your place to dictate.

Manathome · 27/10/2011 20:46

Sorry to be clear we have 2 iPads in the family, so that enables the children to have one each when on a journey on the car on a plane or learning at home, the reason we have two is my wife works abroad a lot and she can use 'facetime' to speak to the children as clear as day in video calls on the iPads, so she takes one and calls the other.

I don't care what people say, I have them and the children are really benefitting from them, it is an all in one package, I have an application on them with old fashioned ladybird books on there, the books are scanned in and are read as if you are looking at them, but if you touch the text it starts reading to you and will light up each word, if you touch the picture on the other page opposite it comes to life with sounds depending on what part if the picture you touch, also great with puzzles and other word and number games to get the children learning and having fun at the same time.

Please don't get jealous, it was not my intention, I am here to help and answer any questions when it comes to technology, but in return need mothering help as I have been thrown into being a mother at home after retiring while my wife is out working.

altinkum · 27/10/2011 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twinklytroll · 27/10/2011 20:50

Laptops are certainly not a necessity.

I would not allow my mother to spoil my dd and she would respect my wishes.

YANBU.

twinklytroll · 27/10/2011 20:53

It is her place to dictate because she is their mother.

Why is it that when people choose not to indulge in pointless materialism they are accused of being jealous? I could buy my dd an iPad, heck I could buy one for my dog as well. I choose not to , it does not mean I am jealous of someone who chooses to.

startail · 27/10/2011 20:53

DS for a 13 year old, are there any games for that age?
iPod doc and or voucher surely

marriedinwhite · 27/10/2011 20:53

Our DC who are almost 17 and 13 have had the following over the years and still have (and apart from the ipods which died after about a year or so) (since DS was about 6): 3 DS's of varying modernity, 2 laptops, 2 ipods, 1 ipod docking station, 1 i-touch, 1 wii, 1 Xbox, Blackberry Curve each. Usually techie items are bought for Christmas or birthdays and Christmas is complicated because it is also DS's birthday! I recall DS saved up for the XBox from odd jobs and birthday and Xmas money and when he was about £40 short, my stepfather slipped him what was left because he thought he had done jolly well to save as much as he had. DD has asked for a kindle this year and DS wants a pair of Doctor Marten boots.

Your dd does seem to have a lot for one child but then she doesn't have anyone to share stuff with. A lot depends on your budget. Spoiling I think depends on the nature of the child and whether they are inclined to be manipulative and only you know that.

FWIW my ILs (just MIL now) have never actually bought the dc a present - ever. That's not to say they don't hand over generous cheques but I think it would have meant more to the DC if they had gone out and actually bought something and wrapped it up and put it under the tree. Even if only a book or a simple thing.

Can you steer your mother to buy something else for her - and take your mother with you so she is part of the buying and the giving. I agree with other posters that your parents will not be here forever and your dd will not be a child forever either. At 13 probably only for one more Christmas. Why not make it a special one.

Bunbaker · 27/10/2011 20:55

"Laptops are certainly not a necessity. "

They are rapidly becoming one though. DD is eleven and in year 7 at high school. She is expected to have access to a computer and printer at home. She is currently typing out her science homework as I write this.

startail · 27/10/2011 20:55

Lap tops count as necessary at secondary, Y6 DDs replacement one will count towards Xmas ( not her fault the old one is dyingSad)

Original poster
oopslateagain · 27/10/2011 20:56

Blimey Fabby don't mince words, tell me what you think! Grin

Tight as arseholes and we bought her a laptop costing £450... Hmm

This isn't about 'controlling' what the GPs buy her, it's about her NOT getting two hugely expensive presents for Christmas when she'll be perfectly happy with one - the iPod Touch which we ARE buying. The DS3D isn't needed as it's just the 'latest upgrade' of something she's already got. She already gets a new phone every year (contract which WE pay for tightarses Grin).

OP posts:
stripeybumpinthenight · 27/10/2011 20:57

Erm... you'd be upset with your DD if she'd had sex with her boyfriend aged 18?! Confused

PGTip · 27/10/2011 20:57

Manathome - what's is the app called with the Ladybird books on it, my dd would love that!

Bunbaker · 27/10/2011 21:01

"She already gets a new phone every year"

Now, I consider that a tad extravagant. Why every year?

twinklytroll · 27/10/2011 21:02

Having their own laptop is not a necessity. Most children access the family computer.

Original poster
oopslateagain · 27/10/2011 21:03

Oops sorry I meant every 18 months Blush. She has her phone on contract and they ring every 18 months to 'upgrade' i.e. persuade us to sign a new contract in exchange for a new phone.

OP posts:
Manathome · 27/10/2011 21:03

Want an iPad? well who said they were £600, have a look here, OK refurbished by Apple and like new but the price? £319 !!!!! store.apple.com/uk/product/FC496 Hmmm Jealous? please don't be, see that is why I am here trying to help with technology stuff in return for mothering help as I have now retired and taken over the role of Mum.

I wrote a post but it seems to have vanished, anyway, why 2 x iPads, well they are for the family but the 2 x children use them, one each in the car on the plane t home studying e.t.c. alspo my wife works abroad a lot, she takes one and we use 'facetime' to communicate, it is video conferencing really, the children can see and talk to their mum clear as a bell free of charge using the wifi network, amazing technology!

As for going blind I heard that about a male pass time, why are there not more blind men walking around?

Original poster
oopslateagain · 27/10/2011 21:06

I'm getting a 64GB iPod touch so it has plenty of room for her music/tv shows/ movies. As she'd use an iPad for the same things i'd assume i'd need a 64GB one too, and a quick google showed them at nearly £600.

TBH as she's had no interest whatsoever in the iPad I haven't looked at them. Manathome started the discussion about the iPads, and I'm not even considering one as it's not what DD wants.

OP posts:
Manathome · 27/10/2011 21:09

PGTip The App is Ladybird Classic Me Books by PenguinBooks, they have a load of the classic that are now brought to life, about £1.99 each or something, you download the reader free, then within it it lets you buy the books, the beauty of it is that as we have 3 iPhones in the family and 2 x iPads the apps install on each, so everyone can use them. Great while waiting somewhere with a bored child, get your phone out and they can read a book.

Let me know how you get on :-)

marriedinwhite · 27/10/2011 21:10

Twinklytroll - I dont' think you can generalise. We installed our family computer in about 2001 and after a few upgrades and much much use it is now almost useless except for word, e-mails and the internet. It's also uncomfy and takes ages to crank up. It is now more or less dead. In 2001 I think the package cost about £1200. DS's lap top cost about 600 all up about 3 years ago (bought because there were four of us wanting to use the family computer - if DH left his laptop at work!). It has just been cleaned up and reconditioned for £30 and given to dd; the new laptop which is more powerful cost about £379 all up. We are unlikely to replace the home computer but I do need advice about keeping the wi fi set up if I ditch the family computer. Manathome?

Twinkly - DS is presently doing school work on a laptop, as is DD. They are getting their holiday homework done.

DrinkYourWeakLemonDrinkNow · 27/10/2011 21:16

Lol at laptops should not be given as gits as giftsGrin Isn't that 'dictating' what people can buy as gifts then Fabby?Confused

There is so much technology about these days and it can be hard to know what to buy children for birthdays and christmas. But bombarding them with it all just because it exists and because you can't think of a present is madness (imho) especially when some of it is similar.

Oops I think you have a point and I'm pretty relaxed about dc getting a nice pressie. You can have too much too soon of everything. Then where do you go next year? And how does that teach the value of anything? Sometimes the hoping and wanting (and saving) for something makes it more special.

Manathome · 27/10/2011 21:17

oopslateagain: You don't need big storaae nowadays it is all in the Cloud, or better still get what I got, that is a Seagate Goflex Satellite 500Gb hard disk, it is wireless and has an inbuilt battery, so you can load whatever on it, documents, films, music, photo's e.t.c. it runs from an app on the iphone, ipad or iPod and gives you instant access to 500GB of what is on the remote hard disk. The battery lasts about 6 hrs, but we keep it plugged into the 12v socket in teh car and the kids have 500Gb of entertainment, amazing technology. You see the hard drive acts as a it's own wifi spot, it sends out a signal, your i whatever will pick that up and you connect to it, you can use a secure code if you want, you need to be within say 30mtrs so you could leave it plugged into teh mains in the house and anybody with an iphone pod e.t.c can get access. The beauty about it is that more than one person can watch the same film at the same time at and different start times, I think six or eight people can use it at once.

The system is portable so you could take it anywhere, as long as you can recharge it after 5hrs or so, but I have solar kit that does that and other battery packs. Glad to help anyone who wants further info.

Any questions let me know.

DrinkYourWeakLemonDrinkNow · 27/10/2011 21:18

Why does she need a new phone every year though??

Swipe left for the next trending thread