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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at being told to lighten up?

26 replies

Kayzr · 27/10/2011 11:27

I've just got a text from a friend. It's a bloody joke about Muslims. Don't get me wrong I like a good joke but I'm fed up of jokes about Muslims or black people. They all come from this one person I used to work with.

Usually I just delete them and ignore it but today I decided to text back.

So my reply was "please can you stop sending me racist jokes and horrible ones about Muslims. I dont mind normal jokes but not these"

His response was "you need to lighten up and get a life"

I've just phoned vodafone to get his number blocked as I'm sick of it.

AIBU to find them not remotely funny or do I need to lighten up? They just make me feel awful [hsad]

OP posts:
worraliberty · 27/10/2011 11:31

YANBU it's your phone and if you don't find it funny you're within your rights to ask them to stop sending them.

Blacksquirrel · 27/10/2011 11:32

YANBU!

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 27/10/2011 11:33

YADNBU

nickelbabe · 27/10/2011 11:34

YANBU.

that's the kind of response I would expect from a bigot, though.
My dad does it all the time (not racist jokes these days, but prejudiced nonetheless) and I tell him they're not funny, and he says I've got no sense of humour Hmm
I just tell him that he obviously hasn't, if he thinks that it's funny to belittle other people.

duvetdayplease · 27/10/2011 11:34

YANBU. People often say 'lighten up' or criticise your sense of humour, but if its racist, its racist.

pictish · 27/10/2011 11:35

YANBU at all. Racist jokes make me cringe.

Original poster
Kayzr · 27/10/2011 11:36

Apparently everyone else finds them funny it's just me. Fair enough each to ones own but it's just disgusting.

OP posts:
Onemorning · 27/10/2011 11:39

YANBU at all.

thesurgeonsmate · 27/10/2011 11:44

YANBU. I'd have found it difficult to frame a text, but yours was ideal.

lucymr · 27/10/2011 11:49

YANBU - I hate these sort of jokes doing the rounds by text. the ones I hate the most are when some kind of disaster happens and immediately there are jokes about it. I remember one after 9-11. I don't think people always mean to be offensive and probably wouldn't say the jokes out loud, but they are offensive and you were perfectly right to tell him so.

JosieRosie · 27/10/2011 11:53

YANBU. At all. It's such a cowardly thing to say - putting all the blame on you for 'not having a sense of humour'. Heaven forbid he apologise for offending you or even reflect on whether the joke was offensive in the first place. Well done on blocking his number - life's too short for that sort of crap.

Pascha · 27/10/2011 11:56

YANBU! DH gets these type of jokes from a couple of mates. He knows just to say he got a joke he knows I won't like so he won't tell me it. Whenever I ask who sent it, its always the same two morons.

TheVampireEmpusa · 27/10/2011 12:00

YANBU, think this is going to be a unanimous AIBU

Pakdooik · 27/10/2011 12:02

Me too YANBU

LeNameChange · 27/10/2011 12:03

YANBU.

GalaxyWeaver · 27/10/2011 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DMCWelshCakes · 27/10/2011 12:04

YADNBU. And he, for example, is a bigoted twat.

Original poster
Kayzr · 27/10/2011 12:05

He said that no one but me has a problem with them and I should realise they are just jokes.

I'm quite glad to see that I'm obviously not the only one.

OP posts:
MyRealName · 27/10/2011 12:05

I get the same kind of racist jokes from an ex-colleague. I usually just delete them and due to lack of response she doesn't send as many now. It does make me feel uncomfortable, and I think (she has implied in the past) being black herself she somehow thinks she is entitled to laugh at these jokes IYKWIM? Difficult, as she does otherwise have a wickedly good sense of humour and I don't want her to think I'm a misery guts. I felt immensely guilty at sniggering at one cruel joke in the past, so to avoid this I delete now before reading.

I think you did the right thing. He is obviously an idiot, 'get a life' is hardly comeback of the century from such a 'comedian'.

overmydeadbody · 27/10/2011 12:06

YANBU

Your 'friend' is obviously an idiot. Well done for telling him what you tihnk and for blocking his number. Of course you don't need to lighten up or get a life. He clearly hasn't got a life.

overmydeadbody · 27/10/2011 12:08

Kayzr the fact that he has said no one else has a problem with his jokes says more about the kind of friends he has than it does about you.

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin · 27/10/2011 12:13

You don't need to lighten up.

He needs to stop being a bigoted, racist shit.

LineRunnerWitchyMother · 27/10/2011 12:18

Lighten up?

What, like turn into a white supremacist?

He's an unfunny dickhead. Is he using a work phone to do it? He probably sends unfunny emails at work, too. Yuck.

aldiwhore · 27/10/2011 12:24

I wouldn't even enter into a conversation with this guy tbh, just delete his number, block his number, and if you bump into each other you can tell him then.

Of COURSE he's going to tell you to lighten up, that's what people who are not funny tend to tell anyone who doesn't find them funny!

YANBU.

Original poster
Kayzr · 27/10/2011 12:25

I've never discussed it with mutual friends so I have no idea if they just ignore them like I do.

About 5 years ago someone who I didn't know well pulled him up on it. He said it didn't matter as no Muslims live here. Which as far as I know is true, it's only a little town but it doesn't make it ok.

OP posts:
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