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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that squealing is an overreaction

51 replies

TheVessel · 27/10/2011 11:18

Ok, so I'm pregnant. Yes, I'm happy. Very, very happy.

So, why is it not ok for me to be quietly content and just getting on with it? Why is it I am looked at askance because of not acting like my SIL's who are, in my mind, over-reacting like squealling stuck pigs, shattering the windows, jumping up and down, saying things like 'babby', 'the babes', 'preggers', and launching into full lectures of what to do and not to do. One of whom does not and will never have children of her own. And I smile and suck it up like a good girl - least said, and all that.

This irritates me. I'm just waiting for the lack-of-permission belly groping (I'm not a touchy-feely person), have accepted that the focus is on our much longed for child (fingers crossed). On one hand I feel I need to learn to bite my tongue, however on the other I also want to start with a few ground rules of my boundaries that they need to learn to respect. After all, they won't be around to coo when Jnr is out of toddler stage.

Am I being unreasonable - or just another strong headed woman up against strong headed SILs?

OP posts:
BOOareHaunting · 27/10/2011 14:38

I have a silent SQUEEEEEEEEEE over anyone announcing they're pregnant. Even strangers on MN.

I'm taking it your not your SIL's biggest fan?

I'm with you on the uninvited stomach groping - I'm not touchy feely but then again when people did ask I couldn't for the life of me think up a reasonable excuse to why not Grin and 'no' just seemed harsh!

Anniegetyourgun · 27/10/2011 14:45

Why not? Because it's your stomach ffs! There may be a baby somewhere inside, but what they're actually touching is you. You haven't turned into an incubator, you're still a human being, which they are putting their hands on. Weirdos! Would they get away with putting their hand up your jersey at any other time? One certainly hopes not. (One hopes they wouldn't even want to.)

haddock1976 · 27/10/2011 15:05

It's not just the bump you have to worry about being touched! My SIL is a squealer and has recently taken to remarking loudly that my breasts have grown in size and then lifting one up. Angry Last time she did it, I remarked loudly that if she did that again I'd break her hand :o It's not as though they're even that big!!!!!

LadySybilPussPolham · 27/10/2011 15:11

fuck me haddock I admire your restraint. I'd have lamped her!

DayToNightBarbie · 27/10/2011 15:22

You do know that other people will love your child? And express it in different ways to you. This is a Good Thing btw.

Yep. OP, this is your baby but it's also your SILs' niece or nephew and of course they're excited about it! Try to see it from their point of view.

Anniegetyourgun · 27/10/2011 16:34

Yes... but they can't try to pick it up while it's still inside the OP, can they? Be reasonable here.

Shock at Haddock's breast story. Mind you they'd have had to use a crane to pick up mine.

TheLaineyWayIsEssex · 27/10/2011 16:37

Yabu. Just be happy other people clearly love you and your child.
It is exciting. The sil who will not ever have children is probably living vicariously through you for this

DoesNotGiveAFig · 27/10/2011 16:43

By Gawd you are a miserable caahh.

DayToNightBarbie · 27/10/2011 16:47

Yes... but they can't try to pick it up while it's still inside the OP, can they? Be reasonable here.

Well, of course not. Where was it suggested that they wanted to pick the OP's baby up while it was still in her uterus? Confused

jesuswhatnext · 27/10/2011 17:11

threads like this make me realise how lucky i have been with my sils - for loads of reasons i only had one child, who is now all grown up! im older than all my sils and they have all allowed me to share their pregancies, their joy and excitment and one of them even asked me to go to a scan with her as my db was out of the country at the time - i now have a tribe of 9 nephews and one niece and i love them to bits! - my sils allowed me to speculate abuot the sex of thier babies, let me join in conversations about names (fun, but i always realised that i was only making a suggestion! Grin)

OP let them join in!, its a lovely time and they are pleased and excited - tbh you sound like a bit of a misery!

ihatecbeebies · 27/10/2011 17:14

YABU to post in AIBU while you are pregnant...think of the stress it could cost the babes! squeals Wink

HardCheese · 27/10/2011 17:34

I'm with you, OP, and don't think you sound in the least miserable - you're just, quite rightly, resisting the presumption that pregnancy legitimates all around you behaving as if they've had a lobotomy on their lunchbreak. I'm also pregnant for the first time, very happy about it, and also limbering up my 'fuck off' deathstare at would-be uterus-gropers and people wanting to discuss perineal massage in the lift.

DoMeDon · 27/10/2011 17:45

YAB a kill joy. Arf at 'strong headed woman' Grin Strong headed does not mean grumpy caaaah btw.

JamieComeHome · 27/10/2011 17:46

I think they are entitled to be excited and to express that, with squealing if they must.

JamieComeHome · 27/10/2011 17:47

BTW, the irrritability, perhaps hormone related ...... Wink

JamieComeHome · 27/10/2011 17:48

Also, what do you mean, they won't be around to coo when baby is older? Are you thinking of bumping them off?

Ephiny · 27/10/2011 17:56

YANBU, if there's one thing I can't bear it's grown women squealing like that (not a big fan of it from children either but at least they have that excuse!), it makes my ears hurt and there's just no need for it. I can't say I've ever had the slightest bit of interest in other people's pregnancies or babies though, so maybe I just don't 'get' it.

Absolutely appalled that people think it's OK to grab at a woman's belly or breasts uninvited, just because she happens to be pregnant at the time Shock. No one would be doing that to me twice!

JamieComeHome · 27/10/2011 17:57

None has (as yet) grabbed the OP

eurochick · 27/10/2011 18:22

Why won't they be around when jr is past toddler stage?

DayToNightBarbie · 27/10/2011 18:34

I can't say I've ever had the slightest bit of interest in other people's pregnancies or babies though, so maybe I just don't 'get' it.

Not even when it's a close friend or relative? Shock

Andrewofgg · 27/10/2011 18:36

Aww dont shit on their picnic

Fantastic! No more don't rain on their parade for me.

Thank you form this AFuckingKnackeredWoman

NinkyNonker · 27/10/2011 18:39

I agree on the bump touching, no-one did it to me as I suspect they could guess what reaction they'd get!

FrightNight · 27/10/2011 18:48

Andrew liked that too. Also read today

dont piss on their chips

Have adopted both.

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 27/10/2011 18:53

I am a squealer and always will be.
Because I think it is utterly lovely when someone I know and care about tells me they are pregnant.

Maybe its because when I was pg with my beautiful, awesome DD the news was met with 'FGS what the hell have you DONE' and my mother told my dad this way 'you had better sit down'

I will not push the point OP because in the first few month of pg I am a stroppy, miserable caaahhh myself.

Hormones, just sayin'

GetOrfMo1Land · 27/10/2011 18:55

I am a miserable misanthropic old bastard most of the time but I think it is wonderful when someone is pregnant, and I probably shriek in an annoying manner.

Congratulations you grouchy bugger Grin