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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to raffle off my babies name?!?!

50 replies

yaimee · 27/10/2011 10:41

I'm 8 months pregnant with my first child and have no idea and I mean absolutely no idea what to call him.
I've trawled the internet, name dictionaries, family names and forums and I can't find a single name that jumps out at me, not one that I really like. There are a few that I'm meh about but none that I imagine calling my child.
I'm considering trying to raise a little bit of money for charity by having a raffle among my close friends and family, the prize being that they can choose a name for the baby.
I would obviously only sell tickets to people that I trust not to call my son something horrible or stupid.
I know that it won't solve my problem, as I might not love the name picked for me, but at least my son will have an interesting story to go with his name, instead of just one that I picked out of a book and we might raise a bit of money for a good cause.
Or am I just shirking very first responsibility as a mother?
Eeek, I know IABU, but exactly how unreasonable am I being?

OP posts:
AFuckingKnackeredWoman · 27/10/2011 10:51

DS1 was known as unnamed for the first 16 days of his life.
We just couldn't find a name for him, people told us as soon a we see him a name will come but it didn't.

We has friends text us a name each, counted how many names we had the used a random number generator to pick the name

Number 11 won: Ben

We told our parents we came up with it though because both set were horrified by the idea[hgrin]

BalloonTwister · 27/10/2011 10:51

I actually quite like the idea, but I have a feeling it might not go down too well on here! Most kids go through a stage of disliking their given name at some point, so at least you'd be able to say "don't blame me, blame insert name here. And as long as it's for a good cause, and you're sure your child won't be lumbered with some awful moniker, I say go for it!

StaceymAloneForver · 27/10/2011 10:55

i'd say do it but put a disclaimer in that once baby is born you can make the chosen name (the raffled one) a middle name if you feel the need

sounds like a lovely story for him.

dd asks why she's called Chloe ....... er...... coz i liked it!? is all i can answer

TheRealMrsHannigan · 27/10/2011 10:57

I think it's a good idea, but to make it a bit safer, I'd sell tickets with names on that you are 'meh' about, or ones you don't mind etc, and people buy the 'name tickets', and do the raffle that way, so you at least have had some influence over your child's name.

MollyintheMoon · 27/10/2011 10:59

knackeredwoman's a better way of doing it then you can at least filter out any names you really hate. If you charge a fiver a text you can add your own £5 for names you dismiss.

duvetdayplease · 27/10/2011 11:01

I don't mind the idea, but you might regret it once he's born if something comes to you, so I'd go with the suggestion made by Staceym.

lesley33 · 27/10/2011 11:23

Sorry I think YABVVU. Names are very important. There is a whole wealth of research on how names can have an impact on someone's life. Okay you might get it wrong, but treating it almost as a game by doing a raffle, is imo wrong.

Original poster
yaimee · 27/10/2011 11:34

Thanks for all your opinions.
Lesley, just wondered what you think I should do? It's not really that I'm worried about getting it wrong, just that I don't want my son to end up with a name that's just a meh, or that has no meaning or story or anything behind it. Surly the raffle is better than eeny, meeny, miny mo out of a list of names that I don't hate.

OP posts:
Lancelottie · 27/10/2011 11:35

I am seriously knackered this morning and thought you were suggesting Raffles as your baby's name.

Well, hey, why not? Sell me a ticket Op and I'll put in a bid for Raffles. Or maybe Rafferty.

Original poster
yaimee · 27/10/2011 11:35

What I mean to say is I'm open to other suggestions/stories about how you picked names, as I' sure not everyone can possibly have had a name they loved!

OP posts:
BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead · 27/10/2011 11:43

DS was born nameless well, obviously!
DH named him (was actually a name from the maybe list, but we hadnt been able to whittle it down at all), I was sick of trying to think of a name so agreed that what DH suggested suited him [hgrin]

lesley33 · 27/10/2011 11:50

tbh I and my DP just talked about it and came up with names we really liked. Some people give names that have some family meaning e.g. from relative they really liked. Sorry don't have any other suggestions - and I didn't mean my previous post to come across as sanctimonious as I think it did.

YellowDinosaur · 27/10/2011 11:52

There was literally only 1 boys name that dh and I agreed on. So that became ds1 name. When we were expecting ds2 we really struggled but eventually there were 2 names that we both liked enough to not totally vetoe. One I wanted and dh wanted the other and neither of us liked the other ones name enough to agree to it.

So we played rock paper scissors to decide. We seriously spent about 20 minutes clarifying the rules so there could be no misunderstanding Grin. Best of 3 and dh won. Actually now I am glad as it suits ds2 and now it is attached to him I love it even though previously I thoughr it was only OK.

I don't think YABU to think of a creative way to decide but I am not sure how may people will want to pay for a raffle - I wouldn't pay friends a fiver for the chance of naming their child - its a bit pfb imho!

I like the poster who suggested friends texting and using a random number generator better as you can then delete any you hate.

I totally get not wanting to name your child a name you are a bit meh about as I totally felt this about ds2 name especially as I LOVED ds1 name so much. But once the name you choose is actually associated with your child you will grow to love it - I now love ds2 name every bit as much as ds1 even though I was totally ambivalent about it before he arrived

worraliberty · 27/10/2011 11:54

I think it's a horrible thing to do

Giving someone a name for the rest of their life is a very big responsibility

This totally cheapens it in my view

And I don't believe for a second you'd call your child 'Gaylord' if one of your trusted friends picked it.

You'll think of a name soon enough.

meditrina · 27/10/2011 11:55

Lancelottie is on to something - it needs to be Raphael or Raphaella after this thread (which you can print off and keep in the babe's memory box).

littlenuttree · 27/10/2011 12:00

When DD2 was born, we found it impossible to pick one name from the 2 that we had shortlisted, so we flipped a coin. I can't actually imagine her being called the other name now.

I agree with the disclaimer idea too if you decide to go for the raffle idea.

MackerelOfFact · 27/10/2011 12:01

I'd just ask friends to give suggestions and put them in a hat and pull one out. That way you have recourse if you have second thoughts, as no money has changed hands and it's a bit more flexible.

I don't think there's anything wrong with arbritrarily picking a name though. If you don't have a name with an interesting story, then that's just the way it is - no need to go to great lengths to manufacture one!

cece · 27/10/2011 12:06

The MW named my DC3. We were still in hospital after 5 days and she said I am fed up of calling this baby 'Baby Cece'. Sge then said I always liked x name.

She went off to see to someone else and I thought ummm x is nice... told DH when he came to visit. He agreed and voila DC3 was named!

Original poster
yaimee · 27/10/2011 12:21

Lol... the Raffety/ Raffles idea is a good one!
I suppose it would be much easier not to ask for money, they I wouldn't be bound to a name that I really hated. I just thought it was a nice idea to raise a bit of money for a good cause, while shirking my motherly duties! I was also hoping that by keeping it between a few close friends and family members I could avoid Gaylord/Cuntface etc. Maybe I could just invite people to donate if they liked, if I went ahead with the idea!

OP posts:
TheFidgetySheep · 27/10/2011 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeymanface · 27/10/2011 12:31

With DD my ex was a total twat over names and refused to consider anything. He didnt have any suggestions just said a flat "no" to anything I suggested, and these were not outlandish names either!

In the end I registered her without him and picked a name that can have allsorts of different shortenings (like Elizabeth for eg (not her name) where you can be beth, betty, ellie, libby liza etc) and as she got older she "grew into" one of the shortenings and is known as that now.

Bogeymanface · 27/10/2011 12:33

Call him Xavier, X is such a cool initial!

But make sure you pronounce it correctly, no EX-Avyur rubbish please!

GuillotinedMaryLacey · 27/10/2011 12:35

You have my utmost sympathies. I was on the verve of knifing DH over names until a last minute reprieve last night. If he comes to me at any point before this child is born and registered I shall murder him and put it out on FB to the highest bidder.

GuillotinedMaryLacey · 27/10/2011 12:36

Shame it's a boy, you could have used the Eddie Stobart method.

Original poster
yaimee · 27/10/2011 12:38

I'm intrigued, the Eddie Stobart method?!

OP posts:
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