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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AWBU to go on this jolly without DS?

24 replies

Shakey1500 · 26/10/2011 19:25

DH and I have spent many holidays over many years at the same hotel on a Greek island. As a result we are firm friends with the owner and his family, have seen his children grow from young men into fine adults. We started going there pre DS's arrival and bloody love the place. They adore our DS (4yrs old) also and were delighted at his arrival

This year, in December, the eldest son is getting married and we have been invited. DH is particularly close to him. We would love to go for him and also to experience a traditional Greek wedding. We feel very honoured to be invited.

Now, it would not be a problem for DS to come with us, also not a problem financially. BUT, is it unreasonable of us to go without him? We would stay 4 days maximum and have willing grandparents, who he is used to staying with, who have offered to have him for the weekend. I would just love to be able to experience it without the constant "Come here please....no don't touch that..." et etc. It also wouldn't be too much of a bind to get absolutely trollied just with DH

I guess I feel a bit guilty as DS really loves the place and the family etc. But he's only 4 right? Would it hold a lifelong memory for him at this point?

So AIBU?

OP posts:

NearlyLeglessEuphemia · 26/10/2011 19:28

YABU given the occasion. Take DS this time and plan another break for you and DH another time.

Mrsrobertduvall · 26/10/2011 19:33

I would go without him.
Enjoy! [jealous]

seeker · 26/10/2011 19:35

Go without him. Without a backward glance. He will have a riot with his grandparents.

zumm · 26/10/2011 19:35

He might have a ball with his gps too - how thoughtful of you to allow him such joy. YANBU. Enjoy [hic].

zumm · 26/10/2011 19:36

crossposted - you see!

fivegomadindorset · 26/10/2011 19:37

I would go without him. If you go again next year maybe you could do something special for the bride and grrom then.

RefereezaWanka · 26/10/2011 19:38

Oh FGS, woman, go!

HumphreyCobbler · 26/10/2011 19:39

I would go without him.

How nice to have some time away

BOOareHaunting · 26/10/2011 19:39

YANBU - having taken DS to many weddings/ on long plane journies since he was 6 weeks old!

IME a long plane journey (4-5 hrs) is very tiring for young children. The whole weekend will be packed and no fun for DS (or you!) if he's tired.

Go, have a smashing time.

cwtch4967 · 26/10/2011 19:41

From my experience the Greek people are very big on family and children being at events - would your hosts be upset if your son didn't come too?

BarbaraWoodlouse · 26/10/2011 19:42

Go! As others have said he'll have a ball with his GPs. Enjoy yourselves [jealous]

purplewerepidj · 26/10/2011 19:43

4yo DNephew has just had his second "jolly" with Aunty Pidj and Uncle PidjDP so that SIL can have a break (6yo DNiece has ASD)

He absolutely loves it, refuses to watch CBeebies because when he's here he's a big boy - we're a bit more relaxed about bedtimes and baths (with sil's full approval) and he gets thoroughly spoiled. He's watched all sorts of unsuitable films (Karate Kid, Ghostbusters - nothing massively unsuitable!!) and played with my lego from when I was considerably older than he is!

My point being, he sees his time with us as a treat. You think that you're ditching your son on his GP's so that you can have fun, when he'll probably see it as the opposite - "Poor Mummy and Daddy don't get to come to have all this fun at Grandma and Grandad's like me"

squeakyfreakytoy · 26/10/2011 19:43

Of course it is fine to go. You are not shoving him into a boarding kennel for 4 days.. in fact I wouldnt actually tell him that you are going away at all.. just tell him he is going to his grandparents for a special treat because he is getting to be a big boy now who can go on his own to them.. (ie big it up for him into being something for him)

KD0706 · 26/10/2011 19:44

YANBU. Go. Have fun.

DogsBeastFiend · 26/10/2011 19:45

Good god, no! Just pack and GO!

There's plenty of opportunity for family hols - this is different, go and enjoy being YOU for a few days instead of being a mum.

Original poster

Shakey1500 · 26/10/2011 19:48

Thanks for all your replies.

cwtch yes indeed they are really child orientated. I don't think they'd be upset as such, probably quite understanding as they knew us as a couple pre DS and whilst he is a joy etc, we are unable to be nigh on comatose enjoy a drink with them as we used to when we're there heading to bed early with DS.

OP posts:

Acekicker · 26/10/2011 19:51

Another vote for going without unless it would offend/upset the hosts. We went to an overseas wedding without DS when he was about 3, he had a blast with his grandparents and me and DH had a fabulous time at the wedding.

Original poster

Shakey1500 · 26/10/2011 19:51

Oh thank you all (bit slow typing so have only caught up on the YANBU's)

I feel better now! Yes, good idea to big it up as a massive treat for him, thanks.

YAMMAS!

OP posts:

MrsBradleyJames · 26/10/2011 19:55

I simply couldn't have flown away from my son at that age but that's my over protective issue, not yours, so am sure YANBU! If you can do it, why not? He will be fine, and you are clearly not so neurotic and screwed up as me
(eg my thought process would involve tortuous calculations of how long it would take me to get home if DS had an accident, what that accident might be, what the implications of the time it would take me would have......god, I am not NORMAL!!!!)

chipmonkey · 26/10/2011 20:57

Dh and I usually have two "just us" breaks a year, for 2-4 days. We usually go on a 2 week holiday in the summer with the kids so do an Autumn and Spring break together. We love it and my mum looks after our kids which is nice as otherwise they don't see all that much of each other.

Go!

iluvchips · 26/10/2011 21:09

Go and enjoy. As long as your DS loves his GPs he'll have some good times with them.

Dee03 · 26/10/2011 21:41

Go without him and enjoy!

heleninahandcart · 26/10/2011 23:08

Its a Greek wedding, even the church bit will be informal, everyone stands around wandering in and out of the church for a cigarette/chat. A church wedding ceremony goes on for a long time, no seats usually. Kids will be running wild everywhere.

Reception will be the opposite of the traditional english wedding. Again kids climbing the walls, not actually classed as misbehaving, lots of eating, drinking and probably dancing. DS would run himself ragged and you wouldn't have to worry about him touching anything as no one will mind. I'm telling you this so if you don't take DS, you are prepared for a brief pang when you see the other kids.

On the other hand, it can be coldish and damp in December, good chance of rain. If so, tricky to stay indoors with DS (when it rains there its like a bucket being tipped over you, its stay inside till it stops time). You may get lucky and have clear, cold dry days which would be tshirt weather in the sun, coat in the shade.

DS will love being with his GPs, much bigger treat than going to Greece in winter. Your treat will be 4 lovely days enjoying yourselves without a care in the world.

Just go.

PowderMum · 27/10/2011 21:29

Another YANBU here - just go and enjoy yourself with some 'adult' time.

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