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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

i hate my job, after only one month :(

19 replies

aCwtchIsMoreThanAHug · 26/10/2011 11:16

i started my job one month ago, DP has been laid off his job due to medical reasons, he has a bad back/ spondulitus (sorry about spelling) so for H&S reasons unable to work in that particular job (fitting windows)
anyway, there have been no suitable jobs out there for him, so i have gone back to work, and i took the first job offered to me because A) one of us has to be working and B) you cant be too choosey with jobs at this present time.
only now i have taken a job i absolutley hate. everynight i say to DP that im going for a relaxing bath so that i can lock myself away in the bathroom and cry in private without him knowing.
its been a massive change me going back to work, as for 4 years i have been stay at home mummy etc i looked forward to working again and having adult conversations and the fact i could be ME and Mummy for a few hours a day. i know its bound to be emotional as its such a big change, my keeps saying "im proud of you for going back to work" which i feel is a bit...um...OTT? its just work and im doing it for my family.
getting to the point though, i hate my job, i cant sleep for worrying of going in the next day, im not eating properly, and all i want to do is cry :( i wont leave there untill i have another job, and at this time of year all that is going is tempory positions.

im sorry about the moan, and i know i should be grateful for having a job, and that there's loads of people out there crying out for work, but i've kept this bottled up and dont know what to do.

OP posts:
MoaninMinny · 26/10/2011 11:19

what do you hate about it

FlossieFromCrapstonVillas · 26/10/2011 11:24

Please don't be too hard on yourself. A month is no time at all and it will take a while to get used to things. Please give it time, I'm sure you'll be settled in very soon. I know how hard it is.

Original poster
aCwtchIsMoreThanAHug · 26/10/2011 11:31

everything :(

one collegue dropped a load of rubbish on the floor and then told me to pick it up cos she's going on break now, i asked another one where something was and the reply i got was "im on the same wage as you, so go ask someone who gets paid for training you" when i walked in to the canteen for my lunch i heard a few of the girls making fun of me "the new girl,...have you seen the way she walks (then done an impression)" and they all laughed (i was still by the door.) i tidied the department on the weekend and when i came in on monday got told it had been left in an awful mess (which i know for certain it hadnt)

it sounds petty i know but its loads of niggly stuff all the time :( i feel so stupid for writing this, sorry :(

OP posts:
Faffalina · 26/10/2011 11:40

Urgh OP, that sounds horrible. If you catch them making fun of you again I suggest you have a prepared comment ready.

And refusing to tell you where something is! Pathetic.

Just keep your eye out for other jobs and for the moment, keep in mind that you are doing this for your family and hopefully soon can cheerfully wave goodbye to those arseholes.

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 26/10/2011 11:47

it doesn't sound like a nice environment to work and that's a shame. I think you should keep going and try to find benefits of being there. Is the work interesting, are there other people you think you'd get on with? Being the new person is hard and I'm sure it will get a bit easier as you get used to working and being away form your DCs. I would also keep an eye on jobs coming up in your area. It will be easier to get into a job when you're in one building up new experience so keep this in mind when things are tough.

Original poster
aCwtchIsMoreThanAHug · 26/10/2011 11:47

they are all awful, when i started the the top manager told me that he's never worked in such a bitchy place and told me not to trust ANYONE!! all thats getting me through my shifts are thinking of my children. when i got the job i was so proud of myself to be a working mummy. i couldnt wait to tell the school mums especially as i am a young mum with 2 DCs i felt like shouting to the world im not just another statistic im a working mum and proud! :) but now i feel even if i leave my job for another one, are people going to think "knew she wouldnt stick it long!" or even a new employer would question why i had left so soon? i feel trapped :(

OP posts:
Georgimama · 26/10/2011 11:49

I was going to say I pretty much hate all jobs after about a month, and then get into the zone, but you are being bullied. Document all incidents and report to HR. Keep looking for alternative but stick with it until then if you can bear to.

Original poster
aCwtchIsMoreThanAHug · 26/10/2011 11:49

i ve never been one to let anything beat me, so this has hit me hard. :(

OP posts:
Georgimama · 26/10/2011 11:49

x posted with you

"when i started the the top manager told me that he's never worked in such a bitchy place and told me not to trust ANYONE!!"

that is completely unacceptable. It is up to him to do something about it.

Faffalina · 26/10/2011 11:51

I have left jobs after a short time if they are awful, as long as it's not a pattern on your CV, I wouldn't worry.

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 26/10/2011 11:51

I wouldn't worry about not being there too long. My mum had 8 years off work when me and my sister were small. She went back to a job that she realised straightaway she hated. She lasted 8 weeks but in the meantime found out about another job in the industry. She got that one and stayed there more than 5 years Smile

I really hope everything works out for you.

Original poster
aCwtchIsMoreThanAHug · 26/10/2011 11:52

thanks for being so kind everyone :) i thought that i would have replies of get a grip, your earning money etc i even posted on here the day i found out that i had the job, i was so excited and happy, now look at me :(

OP posts:
PopcornMouse · 26/10/2011 11:54

You are being bullied - this goes beyond not liking the job. Please do speak to your managers. :(

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 26/10/2011 12:08

I would add another silver lining with this is that you only really appreciate a good workplace or manager when you've had a bad one. So when you do find a new, nicer job you will really appreciate how much better it is than the old one. Not much consolation at the moment I know but I think it is important to take as many benefits as you can from this job while looking for something better.

MistressFrankly · 26/10/2011 12:14

Sounds like an awful place to work. My concern is that if the top manager tells you to trust no one this behaviour is well ingrained and nothing is being done to rectify it. Look for a new job and in the mean time hold your head high knowing you are doing this for your DC. These people sound like arseholes, try not to let them bring you down. Practice you best withering looks and sarky responses (see MN for inspiration Grin) and steer clear till you can escape.

You should be proud you are supporting your family and a few dickheads behaving childishly doesnt alter the fact you have stepped up. No one will think any the less of you for leaving a job you hate, we have all had to do it at some point.

5ofus · 26/10/2011 12:15

I agree. Finding a new job is the way to go. Sounds like you are working in a nest of vipers. Even if it takes some time at least you'll feel like you are doing something about it.

Also talk to your DH. Tell him the day to day stuff that is getting you down. He won't be any less proud of you.

Robotindisguise · 26/10/2011 23:05

Yes, find another job. In the mean time... You will feel better if you make peace with the fact that you will never be friendly with these people. Think calm and assertive. They are, like school bullies, trying to see how much they can push you around. In situations where they are rude, say "good grief". I find that works as you're telling rhey'rd rude to their face but crucially, it does not re-tell well so they can't go back to a manager and accuse you of rudeness. If they try to make you clear up their mess again, say "I won't be doing that". If they try to fuck you over in meetings, say "that wasn't what happened". Think inner steel and it will improve.

Hardgoing · 26/10/2011 23:18

It sounds horrible and like a culture of nastiness and bullying. You will get another job, you really will, don't worry about what people will think if you move on quickly, just say you prefer the hours/want to work closer to home, or whatever. I might also tell your husband, I know you don't want him to worry, but if he knew you were crying alone in the bathroom every night, I think he would want to comfort you. He won't want you to be alone in this. Then you can start to think of solutions together. Hiding your real feelings is making this worse, not better.

By the way, you should be proud of yourself for getting out there and working, but it's not worth your mental health. YOu can be proud in a different job and leave these bitches to it (and I know what that can be like at work). Good luck.

LoopyLoopsPussInBoots · 26/10/2011 23:22

How the hell can the top manager know that, say it even, and do nothing about it?

It needs to be changed somehow. Have a word with him.

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