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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be really, really annoyed with my boss.

47 replies

bogwobbit · 25/10/2011 22:35

Situation is that about a year ago I changed to a different role in my company. Beforehand I was out of the office most of the time visiting clients / customers (call them what you will) and was mostly responsible for organising my own workload. When I needed to do paperwork, I generally worked in the office or if I had a report to write or something that needed a degree of concentration I would work at home. This suited me because: 1) I find it difficult to concentrate properly in a noisy open-plan office and 2) because it makes it easier to fit work in with family responsibilities, e.g. when dd doesn't go to breakfast club I could work at home, starting once I had seen her off to school and working later.
Now I am in a totally office-based job and I am finding it really difficult, both to concentrate due to noise levels - there are some particularly noisy people on my floor - and also to fit in work around childcare with a 2 hour commute every day.
I don't expect to be able to work at home all the time, far from it, but when I asked my boss if I could do it once a week I was told in no uncertain terms that this was not acceptable with various, frankly ridiculous excuses made to justify. He did say that he would be prepared to consider 'ad-hoc requests' in specific circumstances. So today, I asked him if I could work at home on a particular, complex case that will require a lot of thought and consideration and concentration for one day. It would also mean that I could see my dd to school and start at 9, fininshing in time to collect her from her childminder.
Basically he has refused to even consider it and after a heated discussion has admitted that the only reason is that he is the head of his 'unit' and he likes his staff to be in the office and available at all times.
I'm outraged and mightly pissed off but he isn't budging. His latest 'solution' to me not being able to concentrate enough to deal with this case is that he take it off my hands and work on it himself. Frankly, I find this quite insulting.
Am I being unreasonable and over-reacting? And, what do I do now?

OP posts:

lurkinginthebackground · 25/10/2011 22:49

Hi
Do you have a hr dept you could consult?
I don't think you are bu. You have got your work done so I can't see what the problem is with you being able to work from home. However I think quite often bosses think they have to show their authority on staff as it were. This often results in bad errors of judgement and a certain lack of sympathy for personal issues, such as your childcare needs.

Original poster

bogwobbit · 25/10/2011 22:52

Hi Lurking There and thanks. We have got an HR dept and I may well consult them. On our staff intranet it says something like "employees requesting occasional homeworking should obtain management approval in advance" and many colleagues do work at home although no-one in my immediate team although most of their jobs do require them to be in the office. This was one of the objections my boss originally gave, i.e. that it might cause resentment with them, but I have discussed it with all of them and they are genuinely fine with me working at home occasionally.

OP posts:

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 26/10/2011 06:47

Your case is coming across partially as you wanting to work from home to avoid the commute, which is unreasonable. You seem to have agreed to the job role knowing that it would be office based yet want the flexibility of your old role. YABU, sorry.

NinkyNonker · 26/10/2011 07:30

I don't think you do have a case really. I used to be able to work from home at times but at the discretion of my manager. If he wasn't there it was unlikely any of the other partners would say yes as they didn't agree with it...they felt that the role required an office presence. It sounds like they feel the same about your job.

Andrewofgg · 26/10/2011 07:33

bogwobbit How many commuters do you think like it?

How many of them do you think are doing the child-care work ballet?

How many of them do you think work in quiet single rooms with the door closed?

Get real!

Julesnobrain · 26/10/2011 07:42

if you need that kind of flexibility ie to drop DC to school you need to request flexi working hours. I believe the co have to consider your request. TBH I don't know why you changed your flexible job for an inflexible one. You must have realised?

lesley33 · 26/10/2011 07:49

I totally understand your point. I give permission for some staff to work at home. But the problem with working from home is it is great if staff are hard working, terrible if they are slackers. So with complicated pieces of work it can be hard to judge how long someone should take, so hard to judge if they are slacking. Does your boss know you well enough yet to know that you will work hard at home? If not he may fear you will not, but will be understandably reluctant to say this to you.

MovesLikeJagger · 26/10/2011 08:08

Sorry but you are just having to face the same issues as any other working parent. It's tough but that's the way it is. As your boss he's entitled to refuse your request. YABU

PicaK · 26/10/2011 08:11

Thing is you've already undermined him by talking about it to all the other staff which doesn't do you any favours. You took the job knowing it was office based.

I'd back off and learn to work open plan. Everyone else does.

Icelollycraving · 26/10/2011 08:14

Yabu. You sound a bit precious actually.
You chose to change to a more inflexible role (not sure why). It is not the manager's problem that you don't like the commute,have childminding issues or find being in an office environment difficult. Clearly,it is about give & take & as a manager I would try to help an employer work around childcare if possible. If he does it for you,he would have to give the same conditions to others,that may not be possible. By taking away the project,he may be making the point that you cannot pick & choose,he is the manager. He may perhaps be trying to help by removing some stress as you are having difficulties in concentrating.
I think the real issue is with the change in being your own boss & now being in a team.

TadlowDogIncident · 26/10/2011 08:18

YANBU not being able to work on something complicated in a noisy open plan office. I loathe open plan: I can't see any circumstances in which it would be conducive to getting real work or thought done.

But YA a bit U if you put the case to your boss in the same way that you've put it here - it looks as though your focus is on avoiding the commute / being able to see your daughter in the morning, rather than on the work itself. On the other hand, if the boss is a jerk who wants his minions under his eye (and that truly is pathetic), it probably wouldn't have made any difference however you'd put the case.

lesley33 · 26/10/2011 08:18

He needs to be able to trust you if he lets you work from home. You don't sound like an !easy" employee. I think you need to build up a better relationship with your boss first. Managing upwards is a really useful skill to develop.

FlossieFromCrapstonVillas · 26/10/2011 08:20

You do sound a little bit entitled. Your colleagues may say to your face they'd be okay with you occasionally working at home, but are they really? I'd wager not. it's not a right to work at home, your boss has said they'll consider ad hoc days if you need them, That's reasonable, surely.

Andrewofgg · 26/10/2011 08:38

lesley33 Most office-based work involves interaction with others and email and phones are not a substitute for face-to-face. If there is a discrete project - the sort of thing which in other times would have been done behind a closed door with a sign saying DO NOT DISTURB - then yes, take it home and do it there. But otherwise . . . well, going out to work involves coming into work!

As for flexible working: yes, there is a right to request it and to have the request properly considered. But the answer will often be No - especially if others are already doing it.

And an employer cannot treat one sort of private life as somehow more important than another sort. People with dependents cannot expect to trump people without them. Anyone who disagrees should remember how they felt before DC and imagine how they will feel when DCs are older.

Fayrazzled · 26/10/2011 09:10

I don't think you have a right to expect being able to work at home given the situation you have outlined. Many people work in open plan offices and have to be physically present in the office to do their job.

Having said that, I do think your boss is being a bit unreasonable. It sounds as if he has trust/control issues if the only reason he wants you in the office is so he can see you/have his team around him.

I see the only way round this is to formally request flexible working though HR- you run the risk of really pissing your boss off though.

porcamiseria · 26/10/2011 09:11

tough, sorry! you cant demand special treatment cos you have kids. I bet most of your office would like to "work from home"

I get its tough but feeling this is "unfair" wont help your case

edwinbear · 26/10/2011 09:20

I have to commute my 8.5 months pregnant body, dropping a 2 yr old off at nursery at 7.30am and be at my desk at 7.45am, on a noisy trading floor with 800 people shouting at each other every day, and then concentrate on my job until around 6pm when I do the reverse. It's not easy but it's my choice, if I didn't want to do it I would find another job. It's a case of sucking it up I think.

porcamiseria · 26/10/2011 09:29

edwin I hope they pay you very very well!!!!!

Nux · 26/10/2011 09:33

I disagree - if you want to have a productive team then helping people balance work and life is useful and positive. Equally, if you find you do some kinds of work more effectively from home, it makes business sense to do that.

Your boss may have been burned by someone taking the piss in the past, or he may just not have a lot of trust for you as you are new to the dept - or he may fear that the 'floodgates will open' if he says you can do this and suddenly his whole team will be out of the office all the time.

You could do a flex working request and if you already know that there would be no negative impact on your colleagues, then the business would struggle to say no - however it feels a bit sledgehammer to crack a nut. Essentially you are asking for the same level of trust that you had in your old role, to manage your work in the way that you feel is best.

If you have a sympathetic HR dept, speak to someone and see if they can find out why the boss is pushing back so much. In my experience, the easiest way of resolving this sort of situation is to do a trial run - say 1 month or 2 months where you work your preferred pattern - and you review it at the end (or,if it's obviously a disaster, the business can stop it early). This removes the element of fear for the manager as they still retain the power to say no at the end - but it means that both parties get to find out what if any pitfalls there are. In almost all instances IME, everyone is happy to continue with the new working pattern once they have actually seen how it works and that the office didn't fall apart. I would suggest a trial to your boss - involving HR if you want.

edwinbear · 26/10/2011 09:37

Not well enough! But it pays the bills, I like the work and people and I'm grateful for a job in this environment.

bigkidsdidit · 26/10/2011 09:44

To all saying - you can't do it just to avoid the commute... Why not? I do this. Not every day, about once a fortnight, when I have a lot of papers to read and need quiet to concentrate. Plus I avoid 45 minutes on the tube each way and see my son more that day. What is the problem if the work is done well?

(genuine q).

bigkidsdidit · 26/10/2011 09:46

Hmmm Andrew just saw your last post (phone formatting dodgy). You seem to have answered my question already!

MoaninMinny · 26/10/2011 10:58

Your case is coming across partially as you wanting to work from home to avoid the commute,

and provide childcare

sorry thats not your company's problem

Scholes34 · 26/10/2011 11:52

Sometimes "working from home" impacts in a negative way on your colleagues, who may need to consult you on something relatively trivial that it's deemed not appropriate to call you at home, or you won't have access to that information at home, and would therefore hold up their work. I'm sure your contribution to work isn't solely on the one piece of work you happen to be doing.

You're probably beginning to realise that it was all rather convenient how it worked before. I don't envy your two hour commute.

lesley33 · 26/10/2011 12:13

"I do think your boss is being a bit unreasonable. It sounds as if he has trust/control issues if the only reason he wants you in the office is so he can see you/have his team around him."

But it is hard to tell from the OP if this mistrust is justified. So the boss may have been badly burned in the past. Or the OP may have slacked off in the past so the boss doesn't trust her to work at home.

Just to say as well, most colleagues if asked by you would probably say that they are happy for you to work at home, even if they are not. Most people wouldn't want to risk the possibility of future bad feeling by telling you they have a problem with this, when it isn't their decision to make.

I do think bad mouthing your boss to colleagues is an error of judgement and won't help him build up trust with you in the future.

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