To not give him pudding?

[Magneto]

Ds will not eat his tea every single bloody night. He eats breakfast, he eats lunch (generally sandwiches/scrambled egg/pasta) but will absolutely not eat his tea. I have even offered weetabix but he won't have that either. He's 15 months and used to be a great eater.

I will not offer alternatives - I know he would eat a pudding (any pudding!) but you don't get pudding without eating tea in this house, which is why I offered weetabix.

The problem is he is waking up earlier each day! I have to get up at 5am for work anyway but for the last 3 days he's woken at 3-30 to 4am because he is hungry. He doesn't need a bottle at night so I am loathe to reintroduce one which means I have to treat it as morning and get up so he can have his morning bottle.

What am I doing wrong? I'm really at the end of my tether now.

Ah, don't worry!

Babies do eat less over time. They put on weight so rapidly up to 12 months but after that their growth does slow down and they do eat less over time. My DD1 definitely did this and started to refuse meals around this age. It got worse as she got older, in fact, looking back she went on hunger strike for around 6 months when her sister was born but it did her no long term harm.

DD2 now at 15mo eats less than she did at, say, 11 months. I know it's easier said than done, but I don't worry about what mine eat as long as I have put something healthy in front of them then I know they've had the option.

As a total aside, and I do think this is totally random but will share anyway [dd2] between about 8 and 12mo DD2 was a habitual early riser and as SOON as we stopped her bottles she started sleeping later. Weird???!! Probably just random fluke but for some reason losing the bedtime bottle moved her wake up time from 5 to 6. She has a (sealed) cup of water in her cot which she helps herself to during the night if she gets thirsty. I did wonder if either the milk was filling her up too much at night and therefore making her morning hunger more acute? Or if it was just the sheer volume of liquid.

If I ever think either of mine have had so little to eat they will be hungry then they get fed weetabix just before bed, but tbh haven't done that for a long time.

Oh - another thing - mine always eat better without an audience. Obviously you need to supervise babies when eating, but I've found I can be in the kitchen with my back turned ignoring her and she will eat more than if I sit with her the contrary little bugger.

I would give him the sandwiches,cheese on toast or pizza (if he likes it) earlier .
Save some of your dinner to reheat the next day at lunchtime.

When you eat your dinner if he is still up involve him by giving him some of your veg or some bread to eat - he can sit at the table with you if not too tired .

I dont think its worth holding on to the principle of having to eat the same meal together while he is so small and then having the night waking.
BTW My DS woke at night at 13-15 months due to teeth -it was hell

Your post sounds familiar because that was me.

I was apparently a good eater as a baby. Then when I was a bit older than your son (2/3) I stopped eating dinner. I was fine with breakfast and lunch and would eat pudding. I just didn't really like what I was being served. I had issues with textures. I liked chewy/crunchy food and hated gloopy food and fat on meat. This kind of stuff tends to feature more in dinners than breakfasts or lunches. The wrong texture would make me gag. But at the time I couldn't articulate this. I then didn't finish a dinner for years. Simply because I didn't like the food. I was a slim child but healthy. You mention you've tried sandwiches and things but was that when he was already upset and hadn't liked his dinner? Because then he was probably in the mindset not to eat.

I think at 15mo, food is food. It doesn't matter if it's sweet or savoury, he's too young for it to matter. Worry about mains and puddings when he's old enough to understand.

Humans are naturally drawn to sweet foods. Have you tasted breastmilk? Its not wrong, or some weirdo eating disorder that 15 month olds get. Its normal!

I think you are scared that things will happen that probably wont.

You don't have to let him dictate; just tweak it according to his personal prefs?

Have you tried giving tea later or is he too tired? Could you move lunch earlier and/or give less. If not as others have said a cup of milk before bed.

Maybe you will need to eat after he goes to bed? He could have tea t 5.30 and maybe he would be a bit hungrier. Mine are 6-10 and I gave them their pudding first the other day. They were but I thought it was fun seeing their faces.

Magneto I haven't read all the replies, I stopped at "He's not napping in the afternoon, but still taking a 2-hour nap in the morning"

My son was doing this at the same age. He was SHATTERED by dinner time, and we eat at 5pm as well. You need to move that morning nap forward, about 10 minutes a day until it's finished just before his lunch, then swap the two round so it's lunch-nap bam. That's the hard part, the switch. Then he'll be ready for what we've been doing since my son was 14-15 months old, and that's lunch then brush teeth, nappy change and nap. Seriously, it will change your life. He'll be a different person when his day is broken into two equal halves, more bright, more lively and more willing to go along with your plan!

Also, run, do not walk, to get your copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I love this book. I recommend it to all my pregnant friends, and those with very, very tired and unhappy toddlers. Magic.

We had exactly this, ds is fourteen months, we were eating at 6.30 brought tea forward to 5.30 and now he eats the lot! I figured he was to tired before! Ds is a great eater so worried me at first but now it's all good!

One more thing - I'm so lucky, my child loves food and will eat anything except baked beans!

However, I used to be a nanny for triplets, and each one had foods they hated. Guess what, I wasn't making 3 different dinners for them. I used to cook carrots, onions and courgettes in a little boiling water and the puree them with slowly cooked tomatoes for a great sauce on pasta. They ate it all, including the one who hated onions and the one who hated courgettes. If you have a child who loves pasta, or one who loves tomatoes (like mine) you can hide many lovely vegetables in a savoury sauce and it tastes better anyway!

I also like to make "faces" with vegetables and fruits. Take a small white side plate, and make a face with a couple of satsuma sections for eyes, a half a cherry tomato for a nose, and so on. It presents the same foods you may be struggling to get the child to eat in a different (fun!) way. I quite like fashioning eyebrows out of raisins and so on for the morning surprise, even though mine likes all that stuff.

I think DD did this...

I second the suggestion of big hot meal at lunchtimes (with all the good modelling of parents eating veg etc) and then a salad plate at 4/4.30 - toast, cheese, cucumber etc.

You could still serve him up the same dinner everyone else is having but if he doesn't eat it at least you won't be worrying that he hasn't had enough food. Glass of milk before bed also highly recommended!

I hesitate to write anything, because you have already got two pages of advice from all different perspectives, and the thread won't help if it just causes PFB anxiety!

I agree with your approach that there shouldn't be pudding without tea. That being said, there is no shame in feeding him unsweetened yogurt or fruit as part of his meal. These foods don't need to be treats.

I think there's a real possibility that this isn't about food, though. To me, when a child wakes at 3:30 in the morning, he's probably not managing to sleep through the night because he is overtired. (Sounds strange, perhaps, but it is very common!) You also mentioned he has just dropped his afternoon nap. Would it be worth putting him to bed earlier than usual? I wouldn't hesitate to put him to bed at 5, frankly. At his age he probably needs 12 hours at night, at least, unless he's a superhero. I also think he may be too tired to eat "complicated" foods -- the meals you prepare for the family are probably more varied and less likely to be familiar. Bananas and yogurt require no mental processing on his part because they are things he knows so well.

So, if it were me, I would feed him some yogurt, fruit, milk and put him down early! I think it's likely that the food is not the issue but if you fill him up and he still wakes you'll know for sure.

Also, are you letting him grizzle for a bit? DD often has early morning wakings when she's overtired but often she goes back to sleep if we let her fuss a little. If we go into her room, though, it's too much stimulation and she's absolutely up for the day.

Oh, I see JoInScotland has mentioned the sleep thing already. I agree with the recommendation of HSHC, as long as you don't use it for BF advice! Moving the nap might work as well, but personally I would try an earlier bedtime first.

Good luck.

I would go for the night-time milk because it will pass.

Melon & ham?
Porridge & teeny bit of honey?

Always felt sleep was a sanity saver & would prioritise that for you both.

He's probably tired by tea time. I'd try swapping his nap to immediately after lunch (even if it means making the nap shorter), and making sure lunch was no later than 12.

Have you considered making lunch the cooked meal, and doing sandwiches / snack tea with a selection of things he can choose?

We used to have a rule of fruit in between meal and pudding, so they could have plenty of fruit even if not all dinner was eaten.

give him his lunch at 11.30? No snacks

but maybe tea, then a banana b4 bed?

try swapping main meals around worked with mine . have their main meal at lunch time and have a lighter meal at tea time and have things like a cheese board . try also having indoor picnics and lay out a plastic sheet in the living room so that the novelty of eating elsewhere might take away the srtees of your lo eating HOPE THIS HELPS

OOPS STRESS

I agree with JoinScotland about the nap. If he's sleeping in the morning but not the afternoon, that's the wrong way round. If he's only having one nap a day, after lunch is better as he will not be quite so exhausted by tea time.

You might find that just sorting the nap out is the solution.

OP, I think 5-6 pm is too late for a 15 month old to eat as its too close to bedtime. He is therefore too tired to eat despite being hungry. Also, at 15 months there should be no need to all sit down together to have a family meal. You will have years ahead of you for that. My 18 month old DD goes to nursery and as an example they have lunch at 12 and then teatime is 3.30-4pm. From mine and my friends experience of nurseries this seems to be the norm.

This is ds2 (22 months) so I feel your pain, although al least he does sleep.

Tiredness isn't an issue for us as it doesn't matter at what time the meal is served, he won't eat food that isn't sandwiches, toast, baby crisps, crackers, fruit, cereal, yoghurt or biscuits. He won't contemplate anything else in any form; pureed, mashed or finger foods. He'll snack on these constantly if allowed.

I serve breakfast (which he eats), a sandwich meal, a hot meal and limited snacks. He'll eat 2 out of 3 meals but NEVER the hot meal, whether it's served in the middle or at the end of the day. And yes, I've tried serving it cold to see if that helps.

He's still pretty sturdy so seems to be OK .

he is 15 months, so i would give him anything that he will eat,

he is def too young to understand missing pudding ect

my dd is the same age and doing the same thing, im still giving her yogart after if i didnt she wouldnt eat anything, and tbh its working tonight she ate all her dinner and is now muching her yogarts, no screaming no nothing eating nicely, :) x

Sorry for not coming back sooner, I wanted to see how today went before updating.

Firstly I'd like to say thank you for all your responses, all the official guidance nowadays just goes on about how important balanced diets/eating with family etc so it's great to had some perspectives from people other than my mother who raised us on fishfingers and chip butties!

Anyway, today he woke at 4.30, I gave him his bottle and put him back to bed. Dh said he slept until 7.30 after that, dh gave him his breakfast of weetabix, he then ate half of dh's breakfast too . I had given strict instructions that ds was not to nap until after lunch so he had scrambled egg and a cocktail sausage roll. Dh then says he can't remember what ds ate for the rest of the day (because mil came round to let dh sit on his arse for the rest of the day to visit) but from the dirty dishes it seems that after his nap, which was at about 12pm-2pm, he was offered soup, which he didn't eat and some bread to dip in te soup which he did eat. I came home and fed him a fruit purée and a banana, then it was bath and bed for 7pm.

Well that was really long and boring but I wanted to let you know how we got on today. I'm with ds all day tomorrow so hopefully we will make some more progress!