AIBU to think that allowing my kids

[microfight]

to get bored and in effect make them find their own fun over half term is actually a good thing. I know many SAHM's who have put their kids into all day activities for the whole of half term and did the same over the summer, I would have thought a balance would be better (some activity days but not all) and that possibly the activities are for the mums to have time out really not for the kids.
I must stress I am not talking about working mum's who do a fab job juggling everything and need to put their kids into clubs etc. I am talking about stay at home mums who just simple don't seem to want to parent during the holidays and pretend the all day activities are for the kids.

giveitago
I agree holiday clubs are great and I agree most SAHM work really hard and these clubs provide a well needed time away from the kids to get other stuff done or simply relax. I am really asking whether kids should have these days AND some time to make their own fun. That is really the question.
I know many people who send their kids to some club or another everyday of the holidays and they are so young and I don't think they are learning to amuse themselves.

right so you understand if they're sporty..
you understand if theres not much outdoor (and maybe indoor) space at home..

do you also understand if mum is pregnant or has a new baby?
has own health issues?
child doesn't do well socially in their school group, but DOES have friends in their extra curricular group? (e.g. my DH was bullied at school but it didn't shatter his confidence because he was liked in his drama group)

do you know that the people you're bitching at are motivated solely by "me time". Do you know that that is some expensive me time?

Kids should learn to have their own fun but sadly many aren't allowed to play outside or go off the front driveway. If you stop your child from doing something as basic as that, you can't blame them for being bored if they're cooped up all day.

err thanks worral! we don't have a garden and our front driveway is one of the busiest roads in town so thanks for that! DS is doomed then eh? why am I bothering to arrange activites in places that have lots of outside space in that case to make up for it? wasting my time am I?

You're welcome grumple but my reply was infact to the OP

I have no kids yet but my cousin has so many things planned for her kids that it's a nightmare when we have to babysit!!

Kids club cinema is not enough, you have to then go swimming and to the park and for a walk etc etc lol.

I shall raise my children on Tv lol

well its read by us all and we don't all have a garden in a nice rural/semi-rural/safe suburban environment, but we do our best and your post was unkind

Your post makes no sense.

Instead of sending DC to activities you want these parents (SAHM's only) to ignore them and let them make their own entertainment.

So, sending them to activities is not parenting them, but ignoring them is?

OP, it is October half term. It is pissing it down. My kids are school age but too young for organised activities. They're actually very good at occupying themselves but even they are getting bored in our small house. I didn't get endless days out in the school holidays no, but then it was the 80s, houses were cheaper so my parents could afford to live in a cul-de-sac in a village (sic??!) and there was less traffic so we could safely play out from a young age. I live on a busy road in a built up area, no way could my 6 and 4 year old play out yet - and I think lots of parents are in that situation. The 6 year old would absolutely jump at the chance of a weeks worth of activities. How do you know that the kids you are passing judgement on can't occupy themselves??? What time do their activities finish? If it's mid afternoon and they're staying up late then they have plenty of time to kick around at home doing nothing.

Thing is, if you're a SAHM then you get plenty of time with your kids during term time. Time with them isn't a precious commodity so if, 6 weeks after the long summer holiday, they want to send them off out to activities then that's perfectly understandable.

well its read by us all and we don't all have a garden in a nice rural/semi-rural/safe suburban environment, but we do our best and your post was unkind

Did I even mention a garden? I was talking about how few children are allowed off the driveway to play in the street

My department is connected to a Childrens Center, which offers clubs for all ages over the holidays, i think that this is a good thing.

We want to take the stigma out of these and other clubs/activities on offer, because people have the impression that they are only for the very hard up/failing parents.

For some these services are vital, for others they are useful, but everyone who uses them benefits from them, the service continues and is there, if/when needed.

The truth is that if we don't have the take up, then we don't get funded, so i would say to make use of the activities on offer as it does help to build communities and help children to feel a part of one.

Also it can take the pressure off a child that doesn't achieve academically, but still provide structure and peer time.

There is usually a mix of independant activities and ones that the parents/siblings can join in with.

yabu
Love how your judgement is reserved for SAHP
Not WOHM who are valiently juggling work and homelife

Totally unreasonable and unnecessarily judgemental

I haven't made any arrangements for half term and I'm working the whole week. I'm a good mum, I am

(in my defence, dcs are 11 and 14, so they can keep themselves occupied)

Why does it bother you?

My son is having a quiet half term. His granfather is going to take him to the natural history museum and we are doing some other simple outings. He is very tired and really needs his half tem break.

In the past he has done drama courses, science courses, music courses and learnt to swim during the holiday. I sent him to these courses because he WANTED to go. It was called extended schools and the idea was to give children a variety of learning experiences that they simply don't get in school. Unfortunately funding has been cut so my son can't do so many of these courses. Is a pity as I think that children in low income families really benefit.

I always thought the point of courses was for the benefit of the child rather than childcare.

I think that for some children, having some activities like this is a very good thing and they benefit from them a lot. it can be because they are sporty. Or because it's something they really enjoy (like dancing or acting).

Some parents are happy to organize lots of activities at home, take the dcs on days out whilst ensuring the right balance between activities out of the house and activities in the house (and letting them getting bored).

I have been very happy to do that in the past. However, I have found that it is more and more difficult as they get older. For once, when they are spending too much time together, they are struggling to get on (so lots of fights). They do need to do different things (esp for the youngest as it allows him to do something wo comparing himself to his elder brother). They are also at the age where they do need to have some sort of structured activity wo the parents (ie me) being involved. If I could, I know they would be delighted to go away for the week in a 'summer camp'.
There is also the fact that they don't know of any children their age around where we are - the road is busy ish. No children playing in the street. They don't go to the school which is close by so can't just 'go and see a friend'. And, esp the oldest, is at an age when he wants/needs to spend time with 'friends' (ie children his age) more than with family (ie brother or/and me).
But they still know how to entertain themselves, not the least because they need to do that during the week ends too.

reallytired agree with you. These sponsored classes are fantastic for children whose parents are on low income.
but somehow I don't think that's what the OP was thinking about. More about the fact children expect to the entertained all the time.
Which might be true for some children tbh.

I'm a WOH LP. I work term time. Usually holidays are spent at home, days out and DS has a combination of both. This October half term he has 3 days 'holiday club' with the church (2.5 hrs a day). He is learning vital skills and I'm getting things done that are hard with him around.

What your missing OP is that at these clubs the children aren't entertained constantly - they are pretty much left to decide what activities they join and learn social skills, compromise etc. It gives them access to things they couldn't do at home (eg I don't have clay or a kiln!).

Also your neglecting to consider that WOHP could get a week off when children are at school - SAHP don't so they may use a club to get a week off during holidays.

You are not wrong about the idea children should learn to entertain themselves though - just you've limited your view to how it can be done.

Also your neglecting to consider that WOHP could get a week off when children are at school - SAHP don't so they may use a club to get a week off during holidays.

No SAHP with dcs at school can have some holidays during term time the same way than a WOHP would do.
Different of course if you have dcs under school age.

How? cactus Probably being thick but I work term time and just presumed that SAHP would too. They can't take time way from work when children are at school can they?

This sounds like a post along the lines of "This is what I do with my DC's, aren't I great. Lets all pat me on the back for my insight into where others parents are going wrong" YAWN YAWN YAWNY YAWN.

Our kids are having a fab old time at home this week, painting, hanging out with friends and going to the park. Makes sense as DH is around all week. If we wanted them to go to activities though that would also be fine. Most parents know what their kids need and some do thrive on back to back activities. If yours don't good. Great even but in answer to aybu? YES!!! You are being very judgemental and it is tedious to read.

controversial! have you never heard of respite? [hwink] My dd1 would have LOVED being in a day camp or whatever rather than having to bop around the house with me and her baby sis. Sadly, I am one of these 'over-parenting' sahm's who spend their half-terms toiling around the zoo holding half-finished A4 quizzes cursing their own stupidity.

i hear you microfight.

not about stay at home mums or working mums, thats irrelevant to me, but about allowing children to sometimes feel bored - its good for them! life isnt always about being busy and active and doing something fun every minute of the day. they need to learn to 'just be' sometimes. i think thats what you mean? and thats what i agree with.

ps i am not a lazy tv mum. but a nice balance is more my style.

I understand your post a bit. When I leave my two boys to it, no TV or activities, after a little time they start their own games and stories and it's lovely to see them (4 and 5 years old). Sometimes children are very stimulated at school / nursery / whatever and don't have enough time to bond. I find it really nice that they return to old toys, or they make up stories, and play simple games that they make up themselves.

However, I do sometimes send them to day activities and they do the swimming/dancing/karate/drama lessons etc so I am not judging others at all....

Well there is some merit in the idea that bored children learn to make their own fun. In my dd1s case she has started writing a "chapter book" (?? she only learned to write this year) but in my dd2's case it would be shouting 'BANG BANG' whilst hammering the radiator with a wooden brick. So you'll forgive me if I take them outside occasionally.