Is this a good idea for a proposal??

[Ihatechoosingniknames]

A good male friend of mine has confided in me about wanting to propose to his GF. I'm dead chuffed for him and really pleased he's confided in me cos he says he needs a woman's opinion on stuff.

Apparently he's planning to do a karaoke proposal in front of friend during a night out. I'm not sure what I think about this one. Part of me thinks it's great he's making a big gesture and it will be funny and brave at the same time. Another part of me thinks its better to do something intimate and romantic.

That said whilst he's a great bloke, he's not really the lovey dovey romantic type.

Do I keep my mouth shut and wish him all the best or do I subtly suggest that a woman would prefer something more intimate?

You say he confides in you and needs a woman's opinion on things? Then there is no way you can let him go ahead with his naff karaoke public proposal. Be tactful, but firm. Unless his fiancee to be is also a karoake fan, I'd say intimate would be a much safer bet.

Bad idea. You can't go wrong with tradition. A proposal doesn't need to be wacky, it should be romantic, welcome and private.

Whether you like it or I like it or the rest of MN like it is irrelevant. The question is will your friend like it?

My idea of hell would be being proposed to in public.

Combining it with karaoke would result in blood spilt.

But that's me. What would his DP think?

Not a good idea to propose in public, imo. It could embarrass her and make her feel pressured, even if she wants to say yes anyway. Although, that's how I would feel, she might be completely different.

I don't think he can go wrong with intimate and romantic, I suspect she might well appreciate it more if it's not his usual style.

I would hate that. It could not be a worse way to propose to me. I would be totally humiliated and definitely say "no".

But then he's not proposing to me!

What do you think she would think?

I personally can't think of anything worse.
I expect your friend is very different though if this is being considered as a good idea.

Is he absolutely sure she wants to marry him? There's not a lot of room for her to say no.

Do you know the woman he's planning to propose to? I concur with others in saying I would be furious and humiliated if someone did that to me, and the whole idea puts me in mind of that awful Youtube clip of some idiot proposing at a major US basketball game using the scoreboard, and his girlfriend clearly wants to die, doesn't say anything and walks out, leaving the furry mascot of one of the teams just standing there with its hands over its eyes in horror...

But you'll know better than Mn, if you are a friend of the woman.

I would be pretty horrified if someone did this to me. But then liking karaoke is a sackable offence as far as I'm concerned, especially if the karaoke-ist is making me come along to hell on earth a karaoke night. So I'm probably not the best person to ask

No no no NO!!! you must stop this!

Tell him to take her for a nice long lazy lunch somewhere posh, walk nearby, be it in a park or along a riverbank etc. wait until there's no crowds around and bended knee (no ring, let her pick her own, she will have to wear it every day for the rest of her life, she should love it) and back home with champers in the fridge and then calls to friends and family.

His plan is all about showing everyone how much he loves her, not about how much he loves her. It's playing to the crowd, it's all about him, not all about her. At the moment of proposal, he's picked a way that will mean he's the centre of attention, not her being the centre of attention. Is he normally quite self absorbed?

If he is telling her he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, the focus of this should be her, not putting on a show.

Massive rethink needed.

Oh, and the room will be full of people shouting "say no!" thinking they are being terribly amusing...

Christ no,that sounds awful.

no, non, nyet, nein, nada

"It's playing to the crowd, it's all about him, not all about her."

I was trying to work out why I was so against the proposal. LydiaWickham puts it well.

It sounds awful to me, but then the idea that all women like the same thing is absurd too. For all I know she could be a karaoke, attention-loving person who would love it. If she isn't, I think it's a bit of a risk (to put it mildly) and he'd be better off doing it privately. I'd be beyond embarrassed and very unhappy if my boyfriend proposed like that. It's putting you on the spot. What if she doesn't even want to marry him? She either has to humiliate him or go along with a farce.

He shoulds do it, gives his girlfriend all the information she needs to say no and dump the crazy loon as soon as possible - public humilation is not a great way to start a marriage.

If he's really just a bit dumb and not a crazy loon, tell him to not do it under any circumstances - he doesn't want her saying yes out of obligation, nor should he be overshadowing the friends celebration.

Thanks for confirming my thoughts. I'll have a subtle word. Sometimes he has some crazy ideas but he means well.

I love karaoke and I think it's a perfectly accpetable idea. Horses for courses and all that.

I think he should make it a little more private. He'll have the chance on the wedding day to stand up in front of everyone, declare his feelings etc, there's no need to do the proposal that way as well. Also if he does this I hope he's very confident that she'll say yes!

I think that if he isn't usually a lovey-dovey romantic person then his girlfriend would find it all the more special and touching if he made the proposal intimate and yes, quite romantic. It would be a great surprise.