to not want to contribute to this leaving gift?

[JosieRosie]

I have been involved in managing and supervising someone at work who has been performance managed for the past 2 years. This person has not taken the process seriously, has consistently failed to do what was asked of them, has shown no willingness or capacity to change despite absolutely loads of support and has narrowly missed a disciplinary by the skin of their teeth. Anyway, this person has managed to get a new job and will be leaving soon. The whole situation has got me down very badly, I've been in tears several times going to work in the morning and I feel resentful towards this person and am glad to see the back of them.
A couple of my managerial colleagues want to get her flowers or similar - I think this is way OTT and not a little hypocritical, since they have been rather scathing about her behind her back and are chuffed to be rid of her. I would be in favour of getting her a good luck card but am really not interested in organising or contributing to any kind of gift. AIBU to stand my ground on this?

They are leaving! So be happy. I think it's a bit petty not to contribute something. Bygones being bygones and all that.

Lots of talk of being the 'bigger person' backed up by examples - lots of very generous and big-hearted people on this thread! I'm impressed, people!
Do you think Hallmark do a 'Simply Thrilled You're Leaving' card???

YANBU - of course you don't give a present to someone you don't like. (Or do you want to be like all the other sheep?)

senua, one reference from me and one from another colleague.

Is the contribution not done by way of an envelope? Have a few coppers ready, dip into your handbag under the desk, take out a clenched hand either with coppers inside or empty, plunge hand into envelope deep enough to make a noise in the coins already there. Release either coppers or nothing. Did it myself to a completely horrible colleague.

Josie I looked hard for a "don't let the door hit you on the way out" card but sadly Hallmark aren't ahead of the curve on that one.

I disagree, Jalan. This isn't a friendship group or a popularity contest. This is work - where you get paid to do stuff that you wouldn't necessarily do otherwise.
This isn't "someone you don't like", this is "a member of my team".

There you go Rosie. If you can grit your teeth to write a reference then you can grit your teeth to contribute to the present/card.

Much more teeth-gritting and I will have a mouth full of dusty stumps!

www.etsy.com/listing/59151900/newfirst-job-office-space-quote-funny
This is the best I could find....there is a definite gap in the market here!

Perhaps you could all get her a "Congratulations on your New Job" card rather than a "Sorry You Are Leaving" one, then it won't be hypocritical to sign it. You are pleased that she has a new job, after all.

When a disliked colleague left the place I used to work I was put in charge of the collection for her. One colleague refused to contribute because he disliked her so intensely but another put in twice the suggested amount because he was so happy to see her leave.

I can see this becoming big business.

Congratulations on your new job!

We don't know how you did it
but you have another job
How long 'till your new manager
sees you're a useless slob?

Best wishes from all of us...

Or

Goodbye to you and Good luck...

To the company who have employed you.

We never liked you anyway
We hope you don't come back
You're lucky that you found this job
Before you got the sack.

PS. You have done all your paperwork properly, haven't you. Have you got it in writing that she resigned and have you responded in writing to accept the resignation?

senua, yes yes and yes

Oh I have been there too. It is horrendous isn't it? I wonder if it is the same person!

I would not contribute to a present, but sign the card. Just simply sign your name and nothing else.

Just think how great you will feel the day she leaves!

if anybody asks for a contribution, smile broadly and say that you are arranging the marching band and bunting for the front of the building to celebrate. that shuts them up!

Arf, reminds me of when my former boss was getting married. I'd had to move departments after filing a formal grievance against him (and his girlfriend, who was my line manager). Neither of them were speaking to me. And still no-one could understand why I didn't want to sign their card!

Let everyone else do what they like, you don't have to contribute.

Whatever you do about the formal ceremonies to mark this person's leaving, I thoroughly recommend a "leaving party" with friends who are also thrilled the person is going! I had a really horrible colleague once, and got together with all of the other normal people in the office for two unofficial leaving dos. We had an absolutely marvellous time, sharing stories about his unpleasantness, and it really, really made us feel better. As a consequence, I dind't even mind having to show my face at his official leaving do (which the rather unpleasant boss three-line-whipped us on - he was another whose unofficial leaving do I would have taken pleasure in arranging!).

Give yourself this outlet, and you will feel a lot better than you indicate in your OP!

I assume you're never going to see your colleague again so technically it doesn't matter what you do. But if you look at it from your point of view, it makes you look better to your superiors if you at least put a short "good luck" message in a card and/or contribute £1 to the collection. Think of it as making yourself look better rather than doing it for your colleague.