To have given BIL an honest answer to the question "So, what's it like with two DCs?" [grin]

[MrsBloodyTroll]

Saw BIL at the weekend. He and his DW are expecting DC2, we've just had DC2, DC1s are about the same age (toddlers).

He asked what life was like with 2 DCs....silly boy!

So I told him. [evil grin] Make that a [hgrin].

Bless him, he really persisted with the "but you sleep when the baby sleeps...don't you?!" slightly hysterically, not believing my replies that umm, no, well, I don't because DC2 tends to sleep when I'm ferrying DC1 to wherever they need to be, and if at home then no, the self-emptying dishwasher/washing machine hasn't been invented yet, there is extra work to do because of DC1, etc. Oh, and if DC1 is awake, no, I can't really nap myself. That would be child neglect.

He was also a bit when I told him that my 2 DCs wake each other up at night when they cry. We live in a large-ish detached house, he lives in a smaller place.

Oh boy, he's going to have a shock when his DC2 arrives!

[hgrin]

actually I found having two easier

but then I'm finding life with a teen and a near-teen far easier than any previous phase, so I've probably got it all wrong anway

Yes, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be.

y husband is an only one, my sibling & I are 5yrs apart, she has an only, so when I had 2 22 months apart the family were "oh y how will you cope".

Well, you have to!

My toddler was at a play group so some days you had to get up & out, so you have to get organised.

With just one you can take more time, but that can lead you to thinking that two will be harder than it is.

My DD2 is a much easier baby than DD1 was. But it's still hard coping with 2 only 22 months apart. I'm hoping it'll get easier as they get older and can play with each other more. As it is, I seem to spend too much time trying to keep DD1 from smothering DD2 with her hugs. Or pushing her over, etc.

Nights can be hard too, they don't tend to wake each other up (except when DD1 comes in in the morning saying loudly, "DD2 awake", well, she wasn't....). But they have a tag team going on. It often seems like I'm just drifting off after sorting one of them out when the other wakes up.

Oh, and for some reason, they often seem to poo at the same time, so I often have to change 2 dirty applies, one after the other.

I'm sticking with one DC. I'd hate to bite off more than I can chew.

Having 3 under 5 with two with Sn. . SLEEP? In the daytime? With a baby and a toddler? Hahahahahahahahaha.

HOWEVER - for the poster who was querying about a 7yo...DO IT! I have a 7 year, 2 month gap between DS2 and DS3 (my 3rd and 4th dc). Today, DD and DS1 are away at their dad's. DS2 watched cartoon network while I had a nap with 9mo DS3. Piece of piss, in the SCHOOL HOLIDAYS with a 7 yr gap.

you can't sleep when they're awake? What is CBeebies for then? :o I used to bring them both downstairs, wrap myself in a blanket and tell them to leave me alone until Tikkabilla had finished. Although I'd end up watching that because I liked it, and so sleep through the awful granny murray

I agree that 2 is easier. Well easier than going from 0 to 1 anyway. You know what to expect a bit more and know that it gets easier eventually and you are already in parent mode (ie you go to toddler groups, have childproofed your house etc). My 2 never wake each other and they amuse each other in the day.
No point trying to scare people. It's like labour stories - every one will be different.

"An honest answer would be "I only know what it is like my my two, I don't know what it will be like for you".

Very true. When I was pg with DS I heard so many negative stories that by the time my DS was born I was a stressed out wreck convinced I wouldn't cope and it was all going to be terrible. But you know what? I coped. It was difficult but it all turned out ok on the whole. If you ask me it's far more helpful to make new parents a lasagne for the freezer than stress them out for your own enjoyment.

It not all that bad I have 4 dc . Ds3 is very easy going and just slots into what ever we are doing

But yes the combined nap thing that did not happen to often

I always though 'you sleep when the baby sleeps' was a total myth anyway. I certainly never managed it. We found going from one to two children very hard when they were tiny and then (mostly) lovely ever since. I think that given the BIL asked then there is nothing wrong with giving an honest answer.

But I agree that everyone's experiences are probably going to be unique. We had a very easy ds and then dd was (for us) very hard work. Our relationship suffered a lot too. But neither dh or me are very keen on babies, so maybe having two at once (16mth gap) was never going to be the best of ideas!

I haven't read all pp's but I don't think it unreasonable of you to tell dbil your experiences. He may well be very lucky and get a sleeper. I was exceptionally fortunate. Both my dc's slept through from an early age (not bragging - I know how fortunate I am!). However, I know other's who have suffered the first one up most of the night, and then the second one coming along and being worse.

I am sure dbil will know that every child is different, and thus every routine will be different.

Sleeping when dc2 is asleep is a bit of a [hshock] though, what is dsil supposed to with dc1 when she does that?

In case I didn't add enough smileys and emoticons to make it clear earlier, this was supposed to be a light-hearted thread .

I'm not claiming to know it all. I didn't deliberately set out to scare BIL - anyway, he's not the one who is going to bear the brunt of another baby, is he? I'm far too knackered to have gone through a calculated thought process of that kind. I can barely string a sentence together. I just thought the look on his face was funny, it was schadenfreude.

Well, I've just had another night that proved my answer to BIL about my experience was correct...the bastard cough has come back to afflict all of us and since 3.30am I have been trying to get one if the DCs or the other back to sleep. Literally got the baby back down at 7am and, ping, DC1 woke up a minute later. So we're up for the day.

DH was away for work so it was just me on duty.

No idea how I'm going to make it through to 9pm when DH gets home. Am bf'ing so can't have too much caffeine. Any tips anyone?

Wibble.

I think the posters who say it is easier because they entertain each other have blocked out their memories of the first 6-12 months when they don't entertain each other.

I found one easy (even though he wasn't a sleeper) and two a massive shock. When I read threads like this before my second, I just thought the posters were bad parents .

AIBU is not for lighthearted threads

What you said will probably come back to bite you on the arse when they get a sleeper and breeze through it, or maybe not!

Btw - it seems you're not allowed to admire lone parents on here without being accused of being smug and patronising by certain posters if a recent thread is anythying to go by!

Better to expect a hard time and find it easy than the reverse. So YANBU.

Mine are 19 months apart and I have found it really hard up until DS2 turned about 2.5

I feel more like a referee than a Mum. They didn't so much entertain each other as pound each other to a pulp/use each other for target practice/use the other to do the evil things they had dreamt up but didn't have the guts to do themselves etc etc etc.

They are actually lovely boys, but they nearly killed me.

On the upside they have been good for weight-loss.

MrsBloodyTroll if you can't have caffiene, drink LOTS of water! Hope your day isn't too awful. DH has been away since the beginning of the month and wont be back until mid November. I am now full of admiration for single parents. I have no idea how anyone does this long term.