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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really dislike Caitlin Moran's 'How to be a Woman'

60 replies

RiverCity · 24/10/2011 08:40

I know that this book has been out for a while...but I have only just read it. I found this rant insulting and so far off my view of feminism. I thought this a negative book - I don't understand how people find it 'hysterical'. I confess that I didn't know anything about it beforehand...but for me it was too much information from some shouty distasteful woman.

OP posts:
PetisaPumpkinHead · 24/10/2011 10:14

YANBU OP to dislike a book, we all have different tastes.

I'm still reading it, but so far have found it laugh out loud funny, interesting and enjoyable. I admire and like Caitlin Moran, and she does define herself as a feminist and is a strong, successful woman who is written a great book, so that makes it feminist enough for me. She does say at the start she isn't Germaine Greer.

Original poster
RiverCity · 24/10/2011 11:13

Thank you. I am pleased that I am not alone with my dislike of this book (though it seems we are in the minority). I agree with many of you saying it was more a memoir. I knew nothing about the book or author before I read it and think I was taken in by the title by thinking it would have some substance to it. I felt upset afterwards to think that people held the views she does (such as her views on pornography and abortion). Perhaps I just want the world to be a little more caring?
Mrsrobertduvall - well done for giving up on it (you've spent your time doing something more worthwhile) - I kept reading on, hoping it would get better.

OP posts:
fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 24/10/2011 11:15

You felt upset? I thought her views on pornography and abortion were refreshing tbh, how many people do you think actually have the guts to be so truthful about those things?

Hardgoing · 24/10/2011 11:21

I don't really understand your complaint about this book -surely you were expecting her to have some views on abortion and pornography, even if they are feminism-lite, and even if they don't agree with yours.

And congratulating someone on not finishing a book?

You are not unreasonable to not like a book, but you are unreasonable not to offer a more searing critique than 'I want the world to be more caring'.

Trills · 24/10/2011 11:23

You felt upset to think that people hold the views she does?

If people having views that don't accord with yours on sensitive subjects you should probably step away from Mumsnet now (and especially AIBU) or you'll spend a lot of time feeling upset.

Whatmeworry · 24/10/2011 11:24

I thought her views on pornography and abortion were refreshing tbh

I also found her irreverance and honesty refereshing tbh, but after 200 pages the same style of humour, the !!!!! and the SHOUTY CAPITALS became tiresome. Less is more IMO.

EllaDee · 24/10/2011 11:35

I liked some bits very much - I thought she was very funny and honest about masturbation and the whole process of being a teenager.

I thought she came across as a right idiot about a few things (high heels, for example - FFS, if you can't walk in them don't. It's fine, really.)

I found her description of her abortion frankly appalling and wish she'd put more of a warning on that, but that may well be my own issues. It is actually making me feel very sick to type this. I am pro-choice, but I really found that horrific to read. Not that she shouldn't talk about it, of course. But I found it hard. I couldn't finish the book after that.

PerryCombover · 24/10/2011 11:41

she seems alright
earning a crust and maintaining the agreement of the mainstream to keep her buying audience wide

if you don't like it put it down and do something else

sickofhideousneighbours · 24/10/2011 11:50

I can't remember if it was an interview I read with her promoting the book or in the book itself but she was very much implying that most mothers feel the way she does and hate the first few years but she's the only one that's been brave enough to say it - I think she said basically motherhood was boring and crap the first few years which is sad for her but not everyone's experience.

I also disliked the way she almost proudly told us in the book that she gave more thought to the decor in her kitchen than to aborting her child, again how will her other children feel when reading that? Abortion is not something to be so flippant about IMO or taken so lightly but that's a whole other thread.

GothAnneGeddes · 24/10/2011 11:51

I think she very much underplays that she is on a very good salary indeed and overplays the ordinary woman schtick.

That said, parts of it were great, the plastic surgery part was excellent, others betrayed that she has quite a narrow circle of friends/ influences.

sickofhideousneighbours · 24/10/2011 11:53

Quite liked this review of it!
www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jun/20/how-to-be-a-woman

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 24/10/2011 11:53

On the abortion thing, I think her point was that her decision was simply that she did not want to be a mother again. A lot of people agonise over the decision, and we're almost made to feel as if we should. But it was a clear cut thing for her. She didn't want a child. so she didn't have it. I don't see what's so scandalous about that.

nenevomito · 24/10/2011 11:56

I read it and enjoyed it. There were a couple of bits I found really uncomfortable to read, but other bits that I laughed out loud about. I agree that it was more like a memoir than a feminist text and since I like reading memoirs I enjoyed it.

You're not being unreasonable to not enjoy it though. I expect you could name some books you like that I may think are utter toilet swill.

Why not post in books or feminism?

Whatmeworry · 24/10/2011 11:58

Why not post in books or feminism?

:o

Trills · 24/10/2011 12:12

I think a lot of people misunderstand the part about taking longer to choose kitchen worktops than to choose to have an abortion.

Sometimes decisions that affect your life the most are the easiest to make. Having granite vs wooden worktops is not going to make a big difference to your life, so it's hard to choose because it doesn't really matter. When something does really matter you often know what is the right decision.

It's not taking it lightly at all.

Whatmeworry · 24/10/2011 12:20

When something does really matter you often know what is the right decision

I agree totally. and besides, it was her decision - someone else may choose to make it differently, but that is their decision.

Pagwatch · 24/10/2011 12:22

If I ever read a book where I agreed with every single word I would wonder that I bothered tbh. Unless I had written it.

I liked it enormously. She is funny and honest and the bits I disagreed with are good for me to think about.

OfflineFor30Years · 24/10/2011 12:35

YANBU. I'm reading it at the moment. I'm on the verge of closing it and donating to charity. I remember her writing as a journalist a long time ago (haven't read anything recently), thought I might like the book but don't.

I'm not claiming to be a genius and I'm certainly no writer but I'm finding her book puerile in places and her thought process a bit facile. I particularly dislike her comparing a teenage boy who has seen a bra to the horror of the Vietnamese child running away from a napalm attack. In fact, it's winding me up again just typing this.

Trills · 24/10/2011 12:39

I've been thinking about it and if you asked me right now do you want to give birth in 7 months time? I would know the answer immediately.

If you asked me do you want red or blue curtains for your bedroom? I would have to think for longer.

GothAnneGeddes · 24/10/2011 12:45

Offline - That metaphor really bothered me as did a particularly nasty one referring to SN children. It smacks of being out of touch with ordinary people.

MrsStephenFry · 24/10/2011 12:58

Op should probably only read books with pictures of fluffy kittens and bunny wabbits on the front, you know, cos she just wants the world to be more caring.
Hmm

CornflowerB · 24/10/2011 12:59

I too am struggling to finish it.She comes across as very immature for a woman of her age.
If her writing was any good, exclamation marks and capital letters would not be necessary to point us to the funny!!!!! or IMPORTANT bits. It's not a 14 year old's Facebook update FGS.
If the book is aimed at grown women, then many of them will have already read actual feminist writing or, God forbid, have minds of their own. It's ok Caitlin, I don't need you tell me it's fine to be hairy - I had worked that out for myself.
I was hoping that maybe the book was aimed at younger woman and that for them, it would be an antidote to Jordan, Barbie, shave everything etc. and if so, I guess that might redeem it, but I wonder how many younger women can stomach her either. They'd be better off with Germaine really.

Eyelasher · 24/10/2011 13:00

it was crap.
read Dents instead

gavel

Trills · 24/10/2011 13:06

What, Grace Dent's book that is on an entirely different subject and just happens to: a) be by a journalist b) also be funny c) come out at around the same time?

That book?

Read them both.

KinkyandGhoulishDorito · 24/10/2011 13:12

I thought it was great as a memoir and, as many have said, dealt well with issues around being a teenager. My DD has now read it too and really enjoyed it. She's a free spirit and often picked on for the things she likes and the way she behaves. It was good for her to see that not all women in their 30s are Katie Price or her mother [hgrin].