to be really upset that dd1 5yo said 'Santa isn't real' 'its you and dad isn't it - which is better!'

[AnxiousElephant]

I suppose it took me by surprise and she said it infront of her ds who is only 3 so really didn't know what to say.......I just suddenly realised that her childhood is vanishing very quickly

I'm glad she's talked herself back into the fun of it, anxious. I worked it out when I was six and took my three year old sister downstairs on Christmas Eve to show her it was really our parents... my Mother was Not Impressed but I honestly just thought it was further evidence that grown ups were very strange creatures indeed and wanted to share this with my sister in a spirit of scientific enquiry. Weird thing is I still kind of half-believed because I really wanted it to be true.

(And my parents refused to be daunted and kept the whole sherry for FC, carrot for Rudolph, stockings and what a surprise, presents under the tree going for years, bless them.)

I just don't want to lose that magic tbh. At 8-10 fine but not at 5yo FGS!

Every year on here there are these threads, and I find them depressing

Not you, OP, but there are usually a few threads about "lying" to your children, and the ins and outs of the Santa story

As far as I am concerned, Christmas lost a great deal of its sparkle when I knew. A friend tried to tell me at 7, but I refused to listen, and continued to "believe" even when I probably knew deep down it wasn't true, just because I wanted to believe.

My feeling is that there is such a short period in your life when magic is real, when the world is exciting and mystical, when good things happen to good people. Then you grow up.

dd1 (7) I suspect has her doubts. she has asked me lots of questions about how Santa gets round the world- I bamboozled her with Einstein's theory of relativity and I think we got away with it for a while (science of Santa ) But she wants to believe, I can see that. So I facilitate it, because it makes the whole thing so much more exciting and wondrous. We are a family big on magic and fairy tales (I myself am a trained troll-killer, as was my father before me)

I think you can still pull it back, OP. I can understand why you are upset. Childhood is such a short magical time , and I'm all for making it as long as possible

Aldiwhore said it all further up the thread though; her point being I think that children are perfectly capable of knowing that a fat man in a red suit does not come down the chimney, but also and at the same time, accepting fully the magic and fantasy of it. The magic is not ruined for them by the basic knowledge, in my humble opinion. Even at 5. Remember children's brains are not mini adult brains.

jooly, you've missed Anxious's update, her dd has indeed decided to believe.

I agree with you about the distressingly unimaginative people who talk about 'lying to children'. There's more to this world than the dreary everyday 'do x and y happens' stuff. Human beings have told stories since they became human beings, as far as anyone can tell. Story-telling seems to be hardwired into our brains as a way of experiencing and understanding the world.

I don't remember when I stopped believing. I remember my parents telling me to play along for my brother who still believed, and thinking ' Play Along???)'

Anyway, it's fun to pretend-believe, if you pretend long enough you almost forget what you're pretending. It helps keep the magic alive. Someone said upthread about her DS knowing they made all that effort of sorting it out without him seeing it - that's the magic! It's the fact that, even if you know the presents came from the shop, they still turn up in your house wrapped, labelled and ready and you didn't know any of it happened!

And sadly, I've always been in bed before midnight on Christmas Eve, Just In Case

Can't wait for DD to be old enough to understand all this so I can pass it on. I heart Christmas.

For instance jooly, your child is perfectly capable of FULLY enjoying the magic of having a mum who is a trained troll killer, while still and at exactly the same time, knowing in every cell of her being, that she is safe and secure at home and that trolls are not real. In my humble opinion. That's what makes you ABLE to say you're a trained troll killer. I mean, if she really believed that the poor child would have terrible nightmares/insecurity/bedwetting problems wouldn't she!!!!!!

I have just realised that my parents have not so far had 'the' conversation with me and I am 44.

MrsBradleyJames- how dare you imply that trolls are not real!! Are you saying that my degree in troll and monster-slaying is worthless? And of course my dc don't have nightmares or worries- they are safe and secure in the fact that if any monsters/ trolls were to creep out of the Deep Dark Wood and inexplicably come into our house (where they wouldn't want to be anyway, as the smell of mother's love makes them puke) then I would slay them. And possibly make soup out of them (in the spirit of recycling) Trolls are stupid, but not that stupid

Love it! I believe in everything.......trolls, santa (although I suspect I haven't been good enough to receive much ), tooth fairy .......although I'm not sure you get anything for the second set .....

Well he's not real is he? I don't get how something coca cola invented has become the centre point of christmas.

coca cola didn't invent it! Father xmas has been around from the 1800s and evolved from St Nicholas!

correction it was before that ?15th or 17th century.

It is not a biggie! If they believe till 10 they do, if they find out at 4 - no lifelong psychological damage is done!! No hearts are broken - if a child is 'distressed' for an hour or so it is totally forgotten when they are looking forward to opening gifts on xmas morning!! Children don't care as long as they still get their presents!

And who gives a fuck who invented Father Christmas?

Christmases don't stop being 'magical' because your child no longer believes in FC. Ds has never believed and every Christmas is still magical.

km my dd cares actually. When I talked to her abou santa not being real, we discussed his origins in reality and the way parents kept that spirit of generosity alive thro the giving of fc presents to their children.

grumpy I have done that from day one with ds too, he has always been very interested.

We have always told the DCs that the presents turn up if you believe or not. But I love the fact that the little one (7) still believes and I'm sure the big one keep it going as long as he did because he wasn't sure I knew

Coca col and Santa

LOL at your correcting your self to "it was the 15th or 17th century" - so you're sure that it wasn't the 16th century then? :o

When I moved in with DH, I was very upset he didn't have a chimney.
I spent a month before Christmas coming up with plausible ways he could get into the house.

I still didn't work a proper one out.
But - he still turned up, so he must have found a way.

redhead I think its a really nice transitional thing to do, having it based in reality. I really don't like the blackmailing bit about having to believe to get presents; I want to keep the tradition going.

Is it sad that i still belive in santa at 28?