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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Im not BU but this was BU (wasn't it???)

59 replies

troisgarcons · 22/10/2011 21:11

I was in a department store today with my 11yo and I was tapped on the shoulder. Turned round and a lady ratted her tin under my nose with a "NSPCC, donate please". I just said take this one and I'll find you two more at home "No thanks".

But the more I think about it, she really shouldnt have (a) touched me (b) directly asked me (c) caused my mind to wander when pondering the merits of new bathroom towels.

I'm far too bone idle to write/email to the charity and the store - but it was a bit off wasn't it?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 22/10/2011 21:58

If a charity tries to make me feel guilty for not giving it makes me even less likely to give.

I have done many collections and never asked anyone for money, if people want to give they will.

worraliberty · 22/10/2011 22:03

But even if you do sign up to a monthly direct debit...they still make you feel guilty by sending you literature every month to try and get more money out of you. No matter how much you give, you're always told "If you can give just a little bit more...blah blah can happen" Hmm

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 22/10/2011 22:21

The NSPCC's demands for more money were the reason we stopped our direct debit to them.

We swapped it to BLISS, who have never once asked us for more money and who send information every so often thanking us and telling us what our money has helped to do. They do have something that says "with X amount we can do this, or with XX amount we can do that but we are grateful for whatever you choose to donate" but the NSPCC actually wrote and asked us to quadruple our monthly donation.

I've also been chased through a shopping centre by a woman shouting "...but it's for children...CHILDREN WITH CANCER!" at me because I refused to give when she grabbed my arm.

balia · 22/10/2011 22:30

I was 'caught' by a doorstep chugger for the NSPCC - told him I simply couldn't afford a monthly DD but was happy to make a one-off donation. He said they were so grateful but couldn't take cash, would I fill in my details...next thing I knew, I was being charged every month.

When money is tight, you do what you can - can charities justify using con-artist tricks?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/10/2011 22:33

I got called a bitch by a charity collector who approached my best friend and I in a restaurant whilst we were waiting for our meals. Neither of us wanted to put money in her tin, but she carried on pestering us until I told her firmly that neither of us were going to donate, and please would she leave us alone. She left the restaurant, but stopped outside the window, looked me in the eye, and said 'Bitch!'

The restaurant manager saw what had happened and came across to apologise - she had told the woman she could leave a collecting tin on the table by the door, but that she couldn't approach customers in the restaurant, and the woman had utterly ignored her (we weren't the first table she approached). If I had known what charity she was representing, I would have written to them and complained - unfortunately I didn't get a good look at the tin she was rattling, so had no idea who she was letting down so badly representing.

Sirzy · 22/10/2011 22:38

Balia. Generally the door to door collectors aren't anything to do with the charity they are normally employed by a company to do it on the charities behalf, it's normally students doing it for a bit of extra money. I am guessing that is why they can't take cash as it would become an administration problem getting the cash to each charity and assuming the right amount would be handed in.

If people on the door step won't take no for an answer I find closing the door works best!

BlathersFright · 22/10/2011 22:52

I did RAG at university a long time ago and we were told rattling the tins was illegal then too so it's not a new thing. I refuse to donate to the 'rattlers' on principle.

scarevola · 22/10/2011 23:25

Fir callers at the door, I say "I am not prepared to give out bank details at the door for any reason. If you coukd give me a leaflet, I'll think about sending a one-off donation by cheque".

They usually shuffle off, confused, at this point as they never have leaflets and don't know what to say at the prospect of a cheque.

SacreLao · 22/10/2011 23:29

YANBU charity collectors drive me mad.

I do donate to charities but one's of MY choosing, who I will contact myself and arrange to donate.

I hate the one's that knock on your door and ask for your bank details because there not allowed to take cash? So your not trusted with some loose change but i'm expected to hand over my bank details to you?

Sure, why don't you take my passport, car keys and pin number as well while your at it!

bolshyvicky · 23/10/2011 02:19

YANBU. Completely fake charity. I'd have had a few choice words to say to her on the subject.

terrierist · 23/10/2011 10:40

trois - you can email them at [email protected].

This is a pet hate of mine too, I usually donate when I see people collecting, but never if they call out or tin rattle.

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 23/10/2011 11:10

Did I tell you about the chuggers that used to hang about outside UCH where DD was in the Teenage Cancer Unit?

They used to accost people with 'Can you imagine what its like when a loved one gets cancer?' God only knows how many parents they distressed with that tactic.

When DD was in the Middlesex (now a heap of historical rubble) Great Ormond Street Hospital chuggers used to collect outside. Hmm

Dawndonna · 23/10/2011 11:12

I have, in the past organised street collections. If you are one of those with a tin, it is illegal to shake it and to approach people. Go see the store manager if it happens again.

TheMonster · 23/10/2011 11:14

I would have been annoyed.

GeraldineAubergineZombieBalls · 23/10/2011 11:29

One of them asked me what I had done for cancer sufferers today. I was not impressed.

TheMonster · 23/10/2011 11:46

That's awful, Geraldine Shock

ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 23/10/2011 12:05

Wrt to those who knock on your door, I find answering the door holding onto the dog's collar works well, in getting rid of them Grin

The chuggers who haunt our high street never seem to be as bad as some of the ones I've read about on here. A "I won't waste your time because I haven't got any money." usually stops them in their tracks, at least long enough for you to get away.

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 23/10/2011 12:07

geraldine the same has happened to me on several occassions. The most memorable was when they rang my house on DD's birthday and asked some question about 'how would I feel if.....'

TheMonster · 23/10/2011 12:19

the dog thing works for me too!

2old2care · 23/10/2011 14:16

I do not think she was out of order...Maybe you could of given a small donation?
Any charity trying to help children is surely a good thing.Would be nice to only have to worry about towels.I think you are the one bu.

NorfolkBroad · 23/10/2011 14:21

It is a bit off. YANBU

HauntyMython · 23/10/2011 14:45

If I'd been spoken to like that the chugger would've got an earful about (a) her manners, (b) how I'll make my own decisions who to donate to thank you very much and (c) how I will not donate to the NSPCC since I found out how little money actually goes to help children. I know it's not her fault, she is just doing (however brusquely) her job, but the shoulder tapping and the sheer presumptuousness of it would tip me over into Rant Mode.

YANBU

colken · 23/10/2011 14:49

Ignore 2old2care. No one knows, when you go out anywhere, how much money you have available for anything at all. Even 50p could be too much for some. If you decline to give that should be the end of it.

I was walking along Sauchihall Street once and a man stood right in front of me with a collecting box. I declined and moved to one side. He moved to the same side and blocked my way. It happened a couple of times more and I had to tell him to get out of my way of I would call the police for his obstructing my way.

They are not all that bad though. I would feel guilty walking past a quiet one. And Royal British Legion are always quiet so I give. Look what they have done for us.

scarevola · 23/10/2011 14:54

I saw my first poppies of the season yesterday. I didn't think they were even officially on sale yet. I don't think RBL employ chuggers.

SierraMadre · 23/10/2011 15:03

HauntyMython could you point me in the direction of some more info about that please? Not doubting you for a moment - genuinely interested to know.

Thanks