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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH is being a bit extreme

88 replies

Minus273 · 22/10/2011 17:12

to say that this makes me the worst and most dangerous driver and to suggest I give up my licence.

We had a day out today which involved me driving round a large multiple lane roundabout. The direction signs were vague and lane markings very worn. I made a mistake (and freely admit that) and got in the wrong lane. To. correct my mistake meant a minor change of route.

I know I made an error of navigation but I didn't hit anyone, cause anyone to take evasive action break any traffic laws or hold up a third party.

I told DH he was overreacting so now he is not talking to me and is refusing to go out for his birthday dinner and DD is crying because she wanted to treat him and is not happy at the idea of my change of plan dinner.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 22/10/2011 17:33

Then he is an arse. Nobody who can't drive can criticise the driving of anybody who can. Ever. Somebody tell my MIL that . . .

Original poster
Minus273 · 22/10/2011 17:33

My driving is the main thing he huffs about.

OP posts:
PerAr6ua · 22/10/2011 17:33

so what else can't he do that he has an expert opinion on?

Flisspaps · 22/10/2011 17:34

Ooh yes, you and DD go out for his birthday dinner and have a lovely time. Leave the miserable git at home to stew.

fluffythevampirestabber · 22/10/2011 17:35

I agree. You and DD go out and leave the miserable fucker at home to stew in his own juice.

Let him cool in the sweat he het in.

Hungrydragon · 22/10/2011 17:36

I second let him sulk and go out anyway. I am unable to drive and their is no way on hell I'd tell my dh how to.

And I don't think you were driving dangerously, you made a mistake and attempted to get out of it safely. It's stressful enough realising your in the wrong lane with a passenger slating you

Hungrydragon · 22/10/2011 17:39

Andrew MiL's have automatic exception I'm afraid, it's part of their job description, along with pointedly but politely sniffing and poking something you have cooked for them before it's consumed Wink

AgentZigzag · 22/10/2011 17:41

I was thinking leave the big arse at home and take your DD out, as well Grin

OneHandFlapping · 22/10/2011 17:42

I can foresee a few bus rides in your (D)H's future...

AgentZigzag · 22/10/2011 17:43

Madam Flapping, you should fleece people charge for such psychic abilities Grin

LikeABlackFlameCandleBNQ · 22/10/2011 17:52

My DH cannot drive. The one time he criticized my driving, I pulled over and inisted he get out. He walked home. This was around 6 years ago. He has never uttered a single negative comment re: my driving since.

If I were you, I would steadfastly refuse to have him as a passenger in my car until he either (1) Learnt to drive or (2) Learned to STFU and apologied profusely.

I would not back down, no matter how much inconvenience it caused me. Oh and go out with your DD this evening Grin

RitaMorgan · 22/10/2011 18:01

Leave him to sulk and take your DD out for a nice evening.

DogsBeastFiend · 22/10/2011 18:06

He can't drive eh? Sounds to me that the poor boy is suffering from a severe case of the green eyed monsters.

ImperialBlether · 22/10/2011 18:13

It doesn't sound as though you've done anything wrong. If you realise you should have been in another lane but keep going and change your route, that's not being a bad driver. I do that all the time! It's hard sometimes to know which lane you're meant to be in.

Bad driving would involve you taking risks, scaring other drivers, undertaking them, etc. Going a longer route because you missed a turning doesn't in any way make you a bad driver.

Does this mean you won't have to ferry him about any more? Every cloud...

Andrewofgg · 22/10/2011 18:13

HungryDragon do you speak as a MIL or a DIL or both? :o

diddl · 22/10/2011 18:15

Perhaps he needs to learn to drive then?

So you got in the wrong lane & stayed in it & went off at the wrong exit rather than fuss on the roundabout?

And it didn´t affect the journey & you all got home safely?

Wouldn´t take him anywhere again tbh.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/10/2011 18:19

So when you give your licence back, as per his idiotic instructions, how the hell are you going to get anywhere? Since this expert on driving unqualified muppet isn't going to be able to drive you?

I'd call his bluff - say yes, you agree and the family will be walking everwhere or using public transport from now on - even when doing the big weekly shop, or doing emergency dashes to the doctor or A&E!! See how quickly he backtracks when faced with that prospect.

ladyintheradiator · 22/10/2011 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyPhantomFucker · 22/10/2011 18:24

your H, for example, is a twat

why doesn't he have a licence, btw ?

PointyBlackHat · 22/10/2011 18:31

My DH doesn't drive either. He has never, ever pulled anything like this. Every 2 years or so he will make a comment along the lines of 'Pointy - there's that car coming' - usually when I am already swerving/braking/dealing with the situation. I just look at him and calmly inform him that he will be allowed to comment on my driving when he gets a licence.

YAVDNBU, your DH is a twunt and you should never drive him anywhere again. Take DD with you and have a lovely dinner, and then set some boundaries for your DH - he is behaving like a toddler, treat him like one.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 22/10/2011 18:41

in one word, twunt.

feel free to show him this thread, with everybody agreeing that he
a) totally over-reacted to a situation, that frankly, from the details you have given, you handled very well to AVOID danger to the other road users and
b) has no right to comment until he passes his test and proceeds to drive PERFECTLY for a minimum of x years (the length of time you have been driving him around)

don't be his chauffeur unless he changes his tone and attitude

go have fun with your DD

Maryz · 22/10/2011 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonSlayer · 22/10/2011 18:48

And he can't drive himself?

What an arse.

Suggest you don't drive him anywhere any more as you are "so dangerous." He'll soon apologise when he wants to go somewhere.

Ephiny · 22/10/2011 18:51

Sounds like a massive over-reaction on his part. I bet dozens of people end up in the wrong lane on that roundabout every day (there's one like that near us so I know what it's like)!

I have no time for adults huffing and sulking like that, it's ridiculous. He's an idiot to ruin your (and DDs) evening like that.

Presumably if you're such an awful and dangerous driver, he won't be wanting a lift from you ever again? I'd refuse to drive him anywhere again - for his own safety of course Hmm

Hungrydragon · 22/10/2011 18:52

Andrew as a DiL.

The way I see it, MiL gave me Dh, so she is entitled to a few "perks" of the job Wink