To feel annoyed at --D--H barking Oi Oi Oi Oi!! to me (like a dog) in a loud aggressive tone...

[MrsSeanBean]

...when I switched off the TV (which he was not watching)? He has a maddening (to me) habit of leaving it on when there's clearly nothing of interest to him.

He's a loon. Leave him.

Yup that's how I'm feeling atm!

Adopt a Rottweiler and train him to bite DHs arse bark back. :o

Join the club of peed off householders who have to endure the television on when it's not being watched .

Roll up a newspaper and tap him across the nose.

He's naturally a condescending prick. He gesticulated rudely / mouthed off at me through the window the other day as well because I parked on the road, not the drive.

We live on a busy road and it's a nightmare waiting for a break in the traffic, and as I was going out again shortly afterwards it seemed lunacy to waste the effort parking.

Prick prick prick (and a small one at that).

I would say the same to my DH if he dared to turn the telly off, but it would be with a twinkle in my eye.

I wouldn't be happy if he talked to me like I was shit on his shoe, and I wouldn't do it to him.

He sounds pretty angry, and I hate it when someone makes you feel hassled doing something, that's the time you get flustered and fuck it up, which they think is backing up why they're right to be impatient with you.

Arf at his small prick

My DH has tried this once or twice.
My response has been cold stare, narrowed eyes and 'you are not talking to me like that'.
Walk away, no eye contact.
'Excuse me?' also works.

Twattish behaviour.

then walk away, no eye contact.
Can't give a cold stare with no eye contact!

DP would almost certainly rather eat his own eyeballs (on toast) than he would test my tolerance with any "Oi-ing". But then actually, I wouldn't treat him like that either. I detest these men who can't summon up any basic respect of courtesy to their partners and I'm sorry, OP that you have to cope with such an arse.

sorry that should read "respect or courtesy".

YANBU, unless he is in fact Sean Bean? In which case, just send him my way, I'll teach him his lesson ...

Summon your coldest stare and then in an equally chilly voice, 'Who on earth are you talking to? It couldn't possibly have been me, as I am not a piece of dirt on the floor. Kindly do not address me as if I were.' Make him feel the size of an ant and then don't speak again until he apologises for being so fecking rude to you.

You need one of those very high pitched whistles that only pricks can hear.

Keep a spray bottle of water and squirt him when he does it.

Big Bang Theory

My DH once tried to attract my attention by going "Pssssst". Just the once, though . After that little episode, it's now "Oh, darling".

Use one of those shock collars like Caesar Milan does. That will sort him. Especially if you don't put it on his neck, but a bit lower down. It will need to be a tiny collar...

A good stern talk to me like that again and I will dump you and your possions on the pavement might be my response to that attitude.