crap parents evening- AIBU to think teacher could have said one positive thing?

[lottielou39]

well, that was unexpected. We went to my eight year old daughters parents evening on Wednesday evening. She's in Yr.4. I knew when she started in this class that the teacher was a straight talking, no holds barred woman of the old school. I'd been warnedtold this. I'm quite happy she's a strict, old fashioned sort of teacher cos there arn't enough of them quite frankly.
What I wasn't happy about was the unexpected barrage of negatives thrown our way throughout our fifteen minute chat. We walked back to the car afterwards trying to think of a single good thing she said, and there wasn't one.
I don't expect her to lie and say my daughter is an angelic little cherub if she's a royal pain in the ass, but is constructive feedback too much to ask for? Also, shouldn't we have been made aware of some of these issues earlier in the term and not had them all dumped on us without warning at parents evening?
This is what the teacher said about our daughter:
she's incredibly self absorbed
she thinks the world revolves around her
she's 'manic'
she distracts the rest of the class
she's a poor listener
she gets preoccupied with friendships problems

To give you an idea of why we were shocked, her parents evenings in previous classes have all been positive and mentioned plenty of good things.Now I'm wondering if any of that was true, or the teachers were just too lazy/polite to be honest?
She's pretty well behaved at home most of the time, but does have a loud, gregarious personality. So, why the sudden change in Yr. 4?
Would it be petty, childish and wrong of me to ask the teacher if there are any positive aspects to her personality, or would that have my cards marked as a difficult parent?
I'm not ashamed to say that I burst into tears when we got home, was so pissed off because we weren't expecting something so negative.
I wish I could be a fly on the classroom wall for a day to see what really goes on. The only time my daughter has mentioned 'problems' with other kids has been in lunch breaks, when the teacher isn't there anyway.

If she is academically bright, that may be part of the problem. I clashed a lot with teachers at this age because I was loud outgoing and bright. They didn't go into teaching for that. They went into teaching to help children who were struggling. They saw me as a know-it-all. I was, a bit.

I got that about my 5 yo at this time last year. In fact, I was told he was rude, uncontrollable, lacking in manners and aggressive and the implication was that we pandered to his every whim and allowed him free rein (or reign) at home. I'm glad to say its a totally different story this year with a different teacher. Strange that!

I would definitely go back to the teacher, express your surprise and concern that she didn't say one single positive thing about your dd, and ask her to make good that omission - and explain it too!

Clearly, as parents, we need to know when there is a problem with our children's performance at school, but it is vital that this is balanced by some positive comment too.

Sounds like hullygully's hit the nail on the head. A personality clash. My DS had no unfavourable comments in Y1 and Y2 until he got a teacher who had a poor reputation amongst the parents. She didn't have a good word to say about him. Teachers either 'get him' (and his very slight asperger's) or they're really irritated by his foibles. The more relaxed and capable the teacher is the better he tends to get on with them.

Yanb at all. Those old school teachers are those that shattered my self worth and confidence ( I had dev delay). The parents evenings were always negative, with words such as non academic, and similar to you op. Fast forward 25 years, I have a BA (hons) 2.1, MSc (merit) and hope to do a phd in clinical psychology. If they could see he now. I left school with very few GCSE's retook some at college and had a wonderful tutors who believed in me.

You should have said to her, now then let's move onto the positive aspects. Just ignore the old bat I am sure you are aware of your dd strengths. Next time in parents evening be more prepared and assertive. With weaknesses there should also be positives