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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is a bit rude to sleep to 11am everyday when you are a guest..

32 replies

Irishchic · 18/10/2011 22:48

I am up most days by 8am. Have two sisters staying with me, in their late forties, early fifties. They are here for 10 days, and are never up before 11am. I find it a bit annoying, as i dont expect them to be up at the same time as me as they are on their hols so to speak, but I think 11.30 is pushing it a bit, means that by the time they have showered and had breakfast it is about 12.30 which is about time i have lunch. It restricts what I can plan for us all to do as we only have the afternoon to work with. They also want to sit up till 12.30 or 2am when I am dying for my bed by 11pm. Should I/can I say anything without sounding unwelcoming?

OP posts:
EndoplasmicReticulum · 18/10/2011 22:49

YANBU. My inlaws are like this. I'd ignore them, if they're rude you be rude too - go to your bed when you are tired. Get up when you want, if you want to go out in the morning do so. How long are they staying?

RitaMorgan · 18/10/2011 22:50

Why not just plan things for the afternoon then? You don't have to stay up late just because they do.

RedOnion · 18/10/2011 22:50

They are adults. You are letting them stay with you. Why do you feel you can tell them what time they should be getting up?

If you want to go to bed, say those very difficult words, i am going to bed.

Bit of a weird thing to post about, if you invite people to stay in your home then you have to be prepared for them to have different morning/bedtime routines to you.

FabbyChic · 18/10/2011 22:51

Make plans for earlier and then wake them with a cup of tea saying come on get up we are doing so and so today. I would. Or id hoover outside their doors!

cat64 · 18/10/2011 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RedOnion · 18/10/2011 22:52

oh and I wasn't saying that it is a nice situation. My sister lived with my exH and me for about 18 months. It was hell but if you cannot say OK i'm knackered i'm off to bed then your not going to get anywhere.

Bunbaker · 18/10/2011 22:56

I don't understand why you feel you have to stay up late at night with them. Just go to bed at your normal time. when we stay with MIL she goes to bed before us. We don't have a problem with that.

Original poster
Irishchic · 18/10/2011 22:57

If I were staying in someone elses home I wouldnt be able to lie in bed that long and keep them up late at night. I have a young family of 5 kids so have to be up early to get on with breakfast, school run etc. They have grown up kids and dont work so no need for them to be up early. I dont expect them to be up with me, but I would be up by 10am if I was a guest in someone elses home and I knew they had been up since early.

OP posts:
A1980 · 18/10/2011 22:58

Funny, most threads I've read on here about guests are comparing them to fish. They stink after 3 days and you want rid of them.

I would have thought you'd like the space to yourself in the morning without them. You get a break from entertaining them. Also hit the hay at 11pm. Why don't you? They don't need wetnursing and are capable of putting themselves to bed.

Original poster
Irishchic · 18/10/2011 22:58

Yes I should just go on to bed. It feels odd going to bed before my quests but suppose better than sitting up to wee small hours.

OP posts:
RedOnion · 18/10/2011 22:59

How is it their problem that you have 5 kids that you are unable to cope with?

warthog · 18/10/2011 23:00

yanbu

cat64 · 18/10/2011 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Irishchic · 18/10/2011 23:02

Red Onion - Where did say I was unable to cope with my 5 kids? Jeez take it easy ffs!

OP posts:
RedOnion · 18/10/2011 23:05

I actually didn't mean that the way it came across I just worded it poorly.

As I had said in my earlier post I sympathise about having relatives, particularly sisters, staying with you and the family pressures that can bring. What I was trying to say, in a badly worded way, was that if you have invited them to stay, and you haven't said why they are staying with you and for what reason, then only YOU know what their expectations were and perhaps those expectations could/should have been dealt with BEFORE.

Again, apologies for the poor wording, it wasn't intended to come across so unpleasantly.

Original poster
Irishchic · 18/10/2011 23:06

I have no idea what their expectations are, except that they wanted to come and see me and their nieces and nephews. Agree that 10days with someone elses kids sure wouldnt be my idea of a relaxing break but thats another matter.

They seem to be enjoying it anyway.

By most reactions it would appear IABU, which is fine. I just know that I wouldnt do it if I were staying with someone, unless they liked to lie in too.

OP posts:
RedOnion · 18/10/2011 23:09

I have aspergers I sometimes shoot my mouth off before forming the sentence in my head. I genuinely meant no offence.

Original poster
Irishchic · 18/10/2011 23:09

No worries Red Onion. Happy to accept IABU on this occasion, tbh am jealousthat they can lie in bed for so long while i am up with the lark!

OP posts:
LesserOfTwoWeevils · 18/10/2011 23:12

YANBU, but if they aren't accommodating themselves to the way your house runs in the mornings then you don't have to reciprocate in the evenings.

RedOnion · 18/10/2011 23:12

Thanks Smile

Perhaps have a word and see if they might be willing to give you an hour or so of a lie in, maybe if their kids are grown up they have just forgotten how nice it is to have an extra hour of sleep.

Defo don't feel bad about going to bed. My sister was 26 when she moved in with me and my xH, I was 32, had a new baby, I just used to say i'm going bed. Its your home, if you want your bed and your sleep then GO. Fair enough if it is a planned night with a meal and some wine but otherwise just go to bloody bed!

Indaba · 18/10/2011 23:23

I remember staying with very posh mate at very his posh parents house.

I slept till 4pm. I am VERY good at sleeping!

They had done church, country walk, long lunch by the time I awoke.

They were Shock. But so posh they couldn't comment.

I have never been invited back Smile

RedOnion · 18/10/2011 23:28

[groin] at Indaba

I did the same thing the very first time I stayed over with my xH family. Oh boy were they "posh" and I rolled down at about half 11 thinking I was up early to be greeted with raised eyebrows and rolling eyes Grin

RedOnion · 18/10/2011 23:29

and I just realised i gave Indaba my groin rather than my grin. Eek.

Enjoy that groin!

JajasWjolef · 18/10/2011 23:29

Now I love my sleep and would happily stay in bed until 11.30am if I could but 4pm is Shock! I would be hungry if nothing else Grin!

FabbyChic · 18/10/2011 23:30

Shame really they havent offered to get up whilst you have a lie in!

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