Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think this headteacher is either deluded or lying?

66 replies

chaosisawayoflife · 17/10/2011 18:13

Went for a tour of a local c of e infant school this morning. When asked about behaviour the headteacher replied that they don't have any problems with behaviour, which apparently is down to the area they are in and the 'type of parents' they attract! Was ibu to make this face?

OP posts:

GossipWitch · 17/10/2011 20:52

chances are they will out any child with the first sign of behavioural problems by making your child not want to go school and bully the parent into submission by making unreasonable arrangements and there fore taking said child out of school completely (speaking from first hand experience)

SauvignonBlanche · 17/10/2011 20:54

Walk away!

belledechocchipcookie · 17/10/2011 21:10

My son was briefly at a school with 'no bullying' I'd run a mile, it's a nightmare when the head doesn't see what's happening inside the school. My son was told to sort out any problems himself. Not the best plan for a 9 year old who's having his head rammed into filing cabinets. Bullying happens at every school, it's how they deal with it that makes the difference.

marriedinwhite · 17/10/2011 21:25

Our daughter went to one of those until last June. Moved her at the end of Y8. There was emotional meltdown, physical and verbal intimidation, disrupted lesson after disrupted lesson, swearing and fighting. I have a letter from the head noting there were no problems with bullying or behaviour generally in my daughter's year group. Ten sets of parents went in of whom I am aware. No problems there - and I hear that this year they are saying that the children from small, well run primary schools will have to learn to deal with those who aren't.

When I went to school in the 1970s there weren't behaviour problems or bullying. Head Teachers were allowed to exclude - it was called expell then - miscreants who were damaging the reputation of the school.

sunshineandbooks · 17/10/2011 21:30

I'd be very . Like someone else posted earlier, bullying in schools is as ubiquitous as maths. The existence of bullying says nothing about a school. It's how they handle it and how long any individual child suffers bullying that really counts.

That said, quite often there is very little bullying at infant level. At this stage most children have a very strong sense of fairness and inclusivity.

bumpybecky · 17/10/2011 21:35

but did the OP ask if there was a bullying problem? or if there was any bullying?

from what she posted, the HT said there were not behaviour problems at the school. That's not the same as saying there's no bullying, just that (if and ) when it happens it's managed and the issue resolved.

It might mean that the HT is a total fruitloop and the school is a nightmare, or equally it might be there are very rare incidences of bullying that are solved quickly before they become a problem

onefatcat · 17/10/2011 21:35

Why is the head lying because they don't have problems with behaviour??

Not all schools are full of bully's and wayward kids.

Sounds like my dds school. It is in quite an affluent area, there are very few children with special needs or social behaviour problems, parents are supportive of the school and their children. There are high expectations of behaviour and the school deals with any problems quickly and effectively and has good policies in place which they implement effectively.

Therefore they have no problems with behaviour!

The head isn't saying that all the children are always perfect, he is saying they don't have problems dealing with their behaviour.

lechildrenofthecornsilk · 17/10/2011 21:42

nice link between bullies/wayward kids and special needs there onefatcat

LynetteScavo · 17/10/2011 21:45

onefatcat, are you saying children with special needs are more likely to have behavior problems.

ninah. The same question went through my head.

Not all schools are full of bullies and wayward kids. In fact very few ar. But I would love to be shown a school of more than 100 DC where there aren't any problems with behaviour at all, ever. And to say it's because of the type of parents they attract is just laughable. My DS was pushed to the ground and kicked by 6 boys at once...all of whom had lovely, sensible, caring parents, who had chosen the school because of its academic reputation.

YANBU

Minus273 · 17/10/2011 21:47

onefatcat because while every school is not completely full of bullies every school does contain some bullies. IMO the correct answer to that question should be we have a good disciplinary record due to our procedures which are blah blah blah.

Saying there is no problem is the first step to losing control and the bullying and behaviour to get out of control.

I also agree the Sn does not = bully. The lead bully against me had no special needs was just not a very nice person.

skybluepearl · 17/10/2011 21:49

I think every school must have a behavioural issue - be it large or small, one child or half the class.

deste · 17/10/2011 21:51

My two went to a school where there was no disruption in the class, I can't speak for bullying as my two never encountered any. My DD went to a local secondary school for her teaching practice and was shocked at the behaviour of the pupils, stating she must have lead a sheltered life.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 17/10/2011 21:53

onefatcat I live in a affluent area, and both my ds's have sn, one with asd and one with adhd. Should I move because I have children with sn? In fact I chose to send ds1 to a school slightly outside of this area that wasn't as affluent as the local school known for it's middle class bullies, which they deny!

Whorulestheroost · 17/10/2011 21:54

He is lying and deluded all schools have children in them and as we all know they can be nasty little beggars regardless of how much daddy earns or what religious denomination they belong to. Run a mile, I would!

Ineedalife · 17/10/2011 21:57

Have just moved my child from a school which had "no behaviour problems"!!
Reason for this, everytime anyone steps out of line, HT screams at them!! Nor more behaviour problems, children just too terrified to breath.

Oh and by the way said HT is deluded and tells lies as well..

mercibucket · 17/10/2011 22:07

off the point now but onto the 'sen' issue, my old school, c of e, posh etc, apparently just tells the parents of children with sen that this isn't the 'right school' for them and they would do much better at another school
maybe that's why there aren't many children with sen at your child's school, onefatcat
nice

LynetteScavo · 17/10/2011 22:11

mercibucket, I know of schools like that. Their results are always outstanding.

What really pisses me off is when they refuse to take a second or third child from a family who's older children have achieved great SATs results for them.

Dawndonna · 17/10/2011 22:14

A relative sued a school that had no bullying. She won. Something to do with two broken arms, on different occasions, two cracked ribs, again, a seperate occasion, torn clothes, bruises etc.

Poor kid, he was just clumsy and kept falling down the stairs. Funny, the court didn't agree.
Run like hell.
xx

Oblomov · 17/10/2011 22:26

I am wondering this aswell.
Of course all schools have bullying. Its how it is dealt with, and how quickly, that is the issue.
Op's school may very well not have much behavioural issues. They don't have much at our school. Yes there is a bit, but not THAT much. Head takes no prisoners. Parents are contacted smartish if there is a problem with their child.
Homework, 60 kids regularly hand in 6 pieces of homework.
I mentioned this to my niece who is doing teacher training and working at school in next town, and she was shocked. Apparently they have very little homework handed in and manyof the children are struggling to read.
Of couse our school has problems. Every school does.
But is it at ALL possible that head was telling the truth and that they don't have real problems, becasue they TRY and deal with it?

onefatcat · 17/10/2011 22:59

OK, I stand corrected then- all schools have terrible bullying problems , children with SN are never the ones with behaviour issues which require extra support and management and children that behave badly are never from socially/economilcally deprived families. Is that better??

jandymaccomesback · 17/10/2011 23:03

Head at my son's (outstanding) secondary school said any school which thinks it has no bullying is kidding itself. It is how you deal with it that counts.

onefatcat · 17/10/2011 23:04

AND we are talking about an INFANT school here- not an inner city comp!

SaffronCake · 17/10/2011 23:05

in a word... Bollox

YANBU

LynetteScavo · 17/10/2011 23:06

onefatcat, that's not better, that's just sarcastic.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 17/10/2011 23:08

My DDs school doesn't really have any behavioural problems...not that there are NO kids who don't act up...but it's dealt with immediately and effectively. Maybe that's what she meant?

Flip

1 2 3