To be annoyed that

[Angel786]

When visiting in laws at weekend Pissed me off again. Since dd, now 10 mths, the relationship with MiL has got v strained.

I always encourage her to spend time with dd, and she loves it. Sometimes it's over bearing but I know on,y because she gets so excited.

I always let her feed dd, usually I get the food ready, check temperature of it, hand to MiL to feed. At the weekend, I was heating the food, Mil took it out cold and I checked it and said it needed more time. I was about to take it out and MiL literally grabbed it, and said let me do it, I will do it, etc. About a thousand times q forcefully. I said there's no need to say it like that I would have let you do it anyway! She scurried off with food and put dd in a bouncer lying down (!) to feed the piping hot food. I intervened before shecstarted feed g and it was scalding so told her to wait.

I don't mind her feeding dd at all, but she's always so grabby / forceful. At family events I don't get to hold dd at all as MiL and FiL grab her. They made her cry recently so I took her to calm her down, they then tried to grab her back - I said I will bring hervover in a minute just let her settle, they then kept tryi g to grab her from my arms. I did give dd to them when she was calm, just hate the grabby / forceful thing.

Hey! I could make a fortune out of teaching folk with irritating inlaws the German Shepherd owners' "Do. Not. Take. Liberties. With. Me." tone of voice! :o

I actually found it empowering to get DH to speak to IL's. DH is such a mild mannered man and under their thumb - so it was a complete shock to IL's. It was as if he had found his own two grown up feet and was backing me up like a manly husband instead of whimping out.

I have at times said to DP "you tell her XXX" when upset over something, as at times it is because of PFB syndrome and are others MIL not thinking - and I don't want to create a long term "feud" over something of nothing. DP will say more tactfully than I would if I am upset - and they are his parents, so he can "handle" them better to ensure they don't see it as a dig or such.

DP works hard, but his hours are more "child friendly" as he finishes earlier. He works FT also. He took it upon himself to call MIL as knew I was annoyed and thought it would nip it in the bud before anything similar occurred. I was going to leave it be, as in the larger picture I love DS to being loved etc.

I feel guilty at being a FT working parent. Its not what I would have chosen, but is what we (DP, DS and I) need me to do for a while longer. I am so angry that this was brought up, but am going to speak to DP tonight to find out how it came to be said - as I feel is malicious, so there mush be more to it?

If was said as came across will be reacting, but if just a jibe as result of DP's call will just say next time I see her I thought is was a callous comment, and if I ever hear anything similar especially within earshot of my DS I would not hesitate in stopping her contact with DS.

Its a horrid position to be in - as know some of it is because they love their GC, but where do you draw the line to stop yourself becoming resentful?

In my situation - before today - I prefer my troubles consisting of MIL buying him things/clothes etc, or wanting to feed him or visit, etc than to have a family where they didn't give a f*uck. I just don?t need any help in feeling guilty - I and my situation are more than capable of doing this!!

You have nothing to feel guilty over lovey. DS needs a roof over his head, food in his tum and clothes on his back as much as anything else and you and DH need to know that you can do all that and pay the gas bill too. All you're doing is being practical and responsible for the sake of your family. Be proud of that!

I agree with dogs' absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Although I think guilt is standard part of parenting !

Barely slept last night as had nightmares about granny grab gate. Argh, muse will get dh to have a word as we'll be seeing them fir and sat...!