To feel sad that my DS was so upset

[bucketbetty]

when shouted at by a taxi full of lads because he has ginger hair. His little face was so so sad. He had a tantrum tonight too and said he wishes he wasn't born, he hates his hair and his skinny body. FFS he's only 9. Why are people so so cruel. Poor little angel. I just don't know what to do to support him. He will always be a beautiful red head and I'm sure he'll manage it better when he's older, but he's bullied so much because of it. I can't tell you the comments he gets. It's heartbreaking to see him so clearly hurt by it and there's very little I can do about it.

In the middle east your son is god!!! Bless Him. Lots of hugs.

And Horrible nasty rugby tackles to those boys that teased doodles boys too.

X

oops, I didn't finish that sentence. No matter.

What utter wankers, your poor ds

OP that is so horrible.

I can think of a few kids I know with lovely auburn hair, some have gorgeous curls as well, I always tell them how lucky they are. so sorry for your DS, I agree, think of all the Harry Potter characters with red hair (all the Weasleys, Fred and Geroge are very cool), yy also Karen Gillan, also that triple jumper who dyes his hair red, forgotten his name bobbins <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=triple+jumper&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rls=com.microsoft:en-gb:IE-SearchBox&rlz=1I7ADBS_en&biw=1024&bih=600&tbm=isch&tbnid=bbC2E7dHds8bKM:&imgrefurl=www.sportydesktops.com/Phillips-Idowu-qual-triple-jump-Beijing-/12399/&docid=F6smVVSLE893uM&imgurl=images.teamtalk.com/08/08/800x600/Phillips-Idowu-qual-triple-jump-Beijing-2008_1122246.jpg&w=800&h=600&ei=SU2bTs-jFcHC8QO4-oDRBQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=94&sig=103495156094631768585&page=1&tbnh=117&tbnw=149&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0&tx=115&ty=37" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here's ya man Philips Idowu

How horrible your poor ds :( what a bunch of twats

ds has golden red hair, its an unusual colour some say its strawberry blonde (no its red) and often told don't worry it will change as he gets older. i do not worry i do not want it to change he has beautiful hair (though it is) but i do worry about him getting teased

I LOVE red hair. I am so sorry your DD was bullied and is upset.

I thought this book looked interesting and kind of fun - maybe help him to see how he is genetically unique and special and important?

www.amazon.co.uk/Redhead-Handbook-Cort-Cass/dp/1587860112

I found it on this site which is mostly about red hair genetics but has a great list of links (though not all of the right level for a 9yo) but hope there might be some resources that can help

Best of luck - I hope he feels better tomorrow. x

My DHs best friend has ginger hair and he is well known as a gorgeous looker...twasn't always that way and he was teased...but once he hit 17 he turned...as you do...and he's still beautiful now he's 40.

Poor little DS...it is bad...my niece got called fat by some bigger girls and she's only 8. she's not fat either....but try telling her that now.

DS should understand that other kids get called names and it's all to make the name-callers feel better about theit quirks....so the one who whouted might have a big nose...or spots...its important to build his confidence and let him know that ginger hair is NOT a fault.....it's rare and beautiful.

My Mum is a lovely shade of dark ginger and DH and I were hoping our DDsmight be too....but they boh have auburn/brown...tell DS it's lovely...

sorry forgot that links page.

www.myredhairgene.com/page5/page5.html

My DD was great when she was teased for her beautiful golden red hair, and for being a book worm. She basically said "yeh, everyone's different and your point is ... And, yes, I love reading ! "

I was very pleased for her, and proud, that (on both those occasions) it was water off a duck's back to her, but I think she was well taught in anti-bullying thinking especially by a great teacher she had at primary, and we've always been pretty "zero-tolerant" regarding prejudice, and encouraged our DC's to be generous and tolerant to those who are different to them in some way.

I think DD has the perspective to know that, in the scheme of things, having red hair is nothing to worry about. I think she rather likes it too which does help I guess !

Maybe if you talked about all the people that are different in some way and why it's important to be tolerant and kind to all that could be a way to go with this ?
It's very sad that the idiots in the taxi haven't learnt that lesson yet ...

Sorry that your DS is upset, OP. It's horrible to be picked on/bullied. :(

I realise that everybody is regaling you with tales of how beautiful red hair is and how envious everyone else should be of it but, in reality, red hair has a very unfair 'stigma' and I would say that our children need to accept this name-calling for what it is, cowardly nonsense and that a 'name' is nothing to be sad about so he can just disregard whatever these people say and shrug it off...

I think it's better to accept that there are stupid people in the world who say stupid things than to artificially bolster his ego about red hair because one hair colour is no better or worse than any other and the red-heads I know grit their teeth when they hear platitudes, however well-meaning, about their hair colour.

Youve got some work to do. He has to get to the point where he just feels slight disdain for anyone making a comment about an aspect of himself that he cannot change. Maybe role models are important, but this is all about getting from 'They must be right , I am worth ridiculing because I have red hair' to wondering why anyone would make themselves want to feel superior and just dismissing them as a bit dim. I have spent my life with people making hilarious comments about my height and I always memtally dismiss what they have said as just a load of inane idiocy and move on. However being shouted at by passers by would upset anyone, it's an assault.

Dan Purvis is a great role model

He just came 4th in the World Gymnastics Championships here in Tokyo, narrowly missing a medal.

Check out those muscles!!

Thanks everyone for your advice and wise words. It's been much appreciated.[hsmile]

That is horrible. I can't even comprehend someone would to that to a child!

What morons, I love red hair and married a red head. I could never understand why some people think it's acceptable to laugh at red hair, I remember an advertising campaign doing it a couple of years ago.

I can think of lots of gorgeous gingers, Damian Lewis, David Tennant, Karen Gillen............

Tell your boy he's gorgeous and red hair is THE best colour.