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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not explain myself to this woman?

47 replies

Trills · 16/10/2011 14:55

It's Sunday. I am wearing my dressing gown. It is nearly 3pm. (judge me if you like :o)

There was a knock on the front door. I ignored it as I am not expecting anyone and don't want to talk to anyone who is selling anything or collecting for charity or talking about politics or religion.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the back door. To get to the back of our house you have to go past about 6 more houses, down a path, and our house is not labelled at the back (so you'd have to count houses or know which one it was).

That's unusual, I think, I'd better see who it is, if it's someone who knows how to identify our house from the back.

It's the last tenant from our house, who neither of us has met before, asking if we have any post for her. She has been moved out for nearly 9 months now but we still get post; DP has been in contact with her to get her forwarding address and spends a while every few weeks writing "please redirect to..." on the envelopes. She looks rather surprised to see me in my dressing gown but I do not apologise or give an excuse, I just go and find the post we have for her (4 envelopes-worth) and give it to her. She then says "Is

OP posts:

Booooooyhoo · 16/10/2011 15:49

i would have assumed you were busy/didn't hear the door/ were on the loo/dealing with a child/or just plain and simple didn't want to answer. all of which wouldn't have gotten a raised eyebrow from me. i never want to answer the door, it means someone wants something.

LineRunner · 16/10/2011 15:49

Fuck the dressing gown - this woman is using your address as her address, falsely, and she is so keen to get the post she has deliberately had sent to your address that she knocks at your front and back doors?

Methinmks there may be mischief afoot. Get her off your address.

Legally, you can't just dump the post; and nor should you, until you make sure she has no ongoing debt connection with your address. You could just send the post back to where it came from, marked 'No longer at this address - please amend you records.' And meanwhile, send her a postcard advising her of this as she had nine fucking months to sort herself out.

I would also send the info to Experian etc, as to who lives at your address and who doesn't, and ask them to confirm this is on their records.

Original poster

Trills · 16/10/2011 15:50

So basically you are all saying that We ABU to continue to send on her post in the first place.

I thought we were being nice (well, DP organised it in the first place) because it doesn't take much longer to write the address than it takes to write "no longer at this address, return to sender", but of course if we keep forwarding it then she has no impetus to sort out changing her address.

OP posts:

BeaHellZeBubOnSea · 16/10/2011 15:54

YANBU

Your home is your personal space and you don't have to answer the door if you don't want to.

I am on the mail preference list
I am on the telephone preference list
I do not answer the door unless I am expecting someone (except possibly in an emergency)

I am a right anti-social git sometimes. [hgrin]

LineRunner · 16/10/2011 15:54

OP, most normal people actually tell all their contacts, eg banks, relatives, employer, insurances etc, within a few days of moving that their address has changed.

New tenants/occupiers therefore only usually have to send on a little bit of post for a few weeks.

Beyond that, the old tenant is taking the piss - and might even be using the old address for illicit purposes. (It happened to me once , so I am wise to this now.)

Yes, you have been very nice. But sadly these days you must also be careful.

troisgarcons · 16/10/2011 15:57

It's Sunday. I am wearing my dressing gown. It is nearly 3pm. (judge me if you like )

Welll you could be a nurse/paramedic/doctor/telesales .... ummany other sort of shift worker I cant immediately think of

YOu might have just had a bath

You might have just been for a quick roll in the hay

you might be frugal and not put the heating on until 1st Dec

It might just be Sunday, a lazy day, and who the hell cares!!!

sarahtigh · 16/10/2011 15:58

you have to either forward mail or return to sender to just keep it is theft apparently so is binning it technically wrong though I would have every sympathy with someone binning it after 9 months next time I woulsd write on back of envelope saying after 31st october all mail will be returned to sender ( gives her 2 weeks to set up re-direction)if she moved out last january I would possibly forward xmas cards but if she moved out before last xmas she could have put new address in cards so I would not re-address

that said I keep getting xmas card from an old colleague it is always forwarded on from the address before last I have sent her my new address at least 5 times... she just can;t be arsed changing her address book

Birdsgottafly · 16/10/2011 16:12

I would tel her that you are not willing to pass the post on, you could, as others have said, be aiding her to commit fraud.

The only post i would send on would be obvious Christmas/New Year cards and nothing else.

TheOriginalFAB · 16/10/2011 16:17

I am surprised that people are shocked that previous tenants/owners don't get their post redirected. I would guess it is because you have to pay to have it done and it isn't cheap.

LineRunner · 16/10/2011 16:22

Change of address cards/emails/phone calls to contacts aren't expensive.

SayGhoulNowSayWitch · 16/10/2011 16:23

TheOriginalFAB - it's £8 for a month...

We still get post for the previous owners of our house, and we bought it over a year ago! We've had replacement credit cards etc posted through! We sent everything back to sender, but even now we get one or two items a week. It's bloody annoying.

LineRunner · 16/10/2011 16:26

It amazes me that people don't let their banks know they've changed address!

That just strikes me as odd. All it takes is a letter or email.

squeakytoy · 16/10/2011 16:36

Considering lots of people do their banking on-line, I can understand forgetting to let the bank know you have changed address.

TheOriginalFAB · 16/10/2011 17:07

SayGhoul that is expensive for some people, especially as you have to pay all in one go iirc.

Original poster

Trills · 16/10/2011 17:25

DP has reminded me (he's the one who has been dealing with her letters) that we've had post from her more than once from the same sources, so when we have sent things on she hasn't thought "Oh, a letter from xxx, I'd better let them know my new address".

OP posts:

Insomnia11 · 16/10/2011 17:31

We still get the odd bits mail for the previous occupants nearly five years after they left. For the last year I've been chucking it straight into the recycling bin.

Minus273 · 16/10/2011 18:03

I can understand how you would get the odd bit of mail from previous tenants as banks and other companies sometimes cock up with all the different databases they have. However it should not be a lot and you should not be popping round 9 months later a by then you should have contacted everyone who matters. Even if you can't afford a redirection.

When I moved the last time I set up a 6month redirection and started contacted everyone. Started getting some mail from my bank to the new address with some still going to the old address and therefore coming through the redirection. I went to the bank each month and complained they had got at wrong I didn't presume to make it the responsibility of anyone else. BTW I had to go the Ombudsman and kick up a stink after they sent my bank card to the wrong address before it was eventually fixed.

perfumedlife · 16/10/2011 18:06

9 months is more than enough time for her to have notified banks etc that she has moved, as well as paying for a redirection service. Are you sure she is not claiming anything from your address? I think this sounds dodgy.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 16/10/2011 18:10

We are still getting letters relating to the business the previous owners owned and we've been here four years. We know there is dodgy stuff going on. not sure how to sort it. Ahve already had the bailiffs round once.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 16/10/2011 18:10

oh and DVLA letters - so that presumably means there's an untaxed and uninsured car/van on the roads belonging to them?

Minus273 · 16/10/2011 18:17

The only thing I know how to do poolingbear is to keep putting not known at this address. I guess you could write to the DVLA and any other company/organisation that you can identify from the outside of the envelope.

I had a bailiffs problem at my last place, its horrible and stressful constantly having to prove who you are not. So take note OP please start returning as NKATA.

Booooooyhoo · 16/10/2011 18:39

i moved into my current house in july. the previous occupants were there 6 years and i am still getting post for the girl that lived there before them!! i am also getting post for the guy that lived there before them all!!. my mum and dad still get post for the people they bought their house off 13 years ago!

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