AIBU to ask dp for a night away on my own as an xmas present

[scuzy]

i would love one night where i have no mess to clean up or bed time routine to do... just a long soak, clean bed, some tv and a good night sleep.

is this selfish of me? or would you be hurt if your other half asked this of you?

I had 2 nights away as a present (twice!) when my DCs were young. It was wonderful and my DP totally understood why I wanted this time by myself. Had very long baths, wandered around the shops/local museums/parks and had lovely relaxed lunches by myself. DP secretly put my favourite chocolates in my bag and sent flowers to me at the hotel. It was wonderful.

My partner has bipolar. In your position I would book a night away and have a great time. But either ask family to have DD or book an understanding babysitter to look after DD and put her to bed and then in morning get her up and look after her. Just ask DH to do night time.

And don't feel guilty or like you are being selfish. We all need to look after ourselves. You are having a difficult time - working, DD with you doing all the care, DH you love with depression. It is difficult long term to manage stuff like this if you don't look after yourself.

And DP didn't have nights away from me. I don't understand this you can only have something if DP gets it. Surely in a happy marriage/relationship we all want the other person to be happy. So we should support things that make each other happy and that is different for different people.

Instead of asking for 'a night away from you' why not ask for a spa break instead? It amounts to the same thing and avoids possible hurt feelings?

YANBU.

I can so remember when the desire to have an child-free full night's's sleep was all I fantasised about. We were living in rented whilst having our house renovated but we were so sleep deprived (DS 1 year old, still waking every 1.5 hours), that we took it in turns at the weekend to spend the evening and night in our barely weather-proofed house, no heating (and this was winter), no electric, just in the bed, with a dog for company/safety, for a quiet read of a book by torchlight and a full night's sleep and a morning lie-in beyond 5 am. Heaven.

I was just about to say what kitbit has said - tell him you really fancy a spa break

Love the 'spa' idea, just hope he doesn't get someone to go with you.

Yanbu AT ALL.....sounds idyllic. Why not? It's bloody hard work bringing up kids and you need a break.