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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect dh to help in the house at weekends

19 replies

dolphin84 · 15/10/2011 17:31

I work very part time during the week and dh works long hours. At weekends dh like to have alot of relaxation time. I do get some time to myself during week when dc are at school/nursery.
Today I got up gave dc breakfast and took them to their swimming lessons. I than met a friend for coffee and returned home with dc after dh had left for football. I returned home to find all the breakfast things exactly where we left them.
AIBu to expect him to least bring them out into kitchen.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 15/10/2011 17:33

When he gets home ask him to clear up next time before he goes out.

MrHeadlessMan · 15/10/2011 17:37

Out of curiosity... Why didn't you all clear together before you left the house?

CailinDana · 15/10/2011 17:37

YANBU, all capable household members, including children, should clean up after themselves. You are not his slave.

Original poster
dolphin84 · 15/10/2011 17:41

Dh was still in bed when I left with dc. We ran out of time to tidy up. Didn't want to be late for lessons.

OP posts:
Original poster
dolphin84 · 15/10/2011 17:42

Tbf it was dc's mess not his.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 15/10/2011 17:44

What time did he leave for football?

CailinDana · 15/10/2011 17:44

Hmm that makes it slightly different, although I would still have expected him to tidy up if you were busy with the kids and he was doing nothing. What would he say if you pointed it out to him?

valiumredhead · 15/10/2011 17:46

Aha! So technically it was YOU who didn't clear up then? Wink

Tbh when he gets home I would just say 'Thanks for leaving me the clearing up to do when I got home after swimming' and see what he says.

Purplegirlie · 15/10/2011 17:51

YANBU; surely if it's mess from the children then it's equally his responsibility to clear it up as it is yours. At weekends whoever isn't sorting the 2 younger children out sorts out the kitchen and unloads the tumble drier. DH wouldn't leave it to me to sort it all out.

valiumredhead · 15/10/2011 17:55

Perhaps it was just an oversight? Perhaps he slept in too late and planned to do it when he got home? Talk to him about it.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/10/2011 18:02

In this house it would have been your mess as you were with the dc's at the mess time and not him.

I came back last week to find dh and dd had been baking and they had returned the kitchen to the way it was before baking.

This is crucial for me as I spend the most time in the kitchen.

I think most housework issues between couples can be sorted by simply ensuring each adult has the same amount of leisure time in a week. As pretty much everything else (housework/childcare/jobs) is WORK.

Once you've decided between you that raising children is just as much effort as doing anything else it's bloody simple.

squeakytoy · 15/10/2011 18:21

Right.. so it was someone elses mess... not his mess.

I think that is a bit unreasonable to be honest.

FabbyChic · 15/10/2011 18:23

How long does it take to clear a table before you leave the house?Why would you want to return to a shit pit?

Why should he clear up your shit?

OneNerveAndYouAreOnIt · 15/10/2011 18:30

like someone else said, maybe he overslept and rushed out - kind of like you did :)

minimisschief · 15/10/2011 20:17

yabu it would have been nice of him to clean up your mess but he didn't so you cannot then be angry he didn't

Original poster
dolphin84 · 15/10/2011 20:31

It was not a shit pit just 2 cereal bowls. dc left it till last minute to finish. Not easy getting a 3 and 5 year old up and out the house b4 8am on a Saturday.
Dh left at about 12 so I just thought it would have been nice if he had picked them up along with his glass from last night incidently.
Will just let it go this time I think.

OP posts:
pink84 · 15/10/2011 20:57

Guess it depends on how much he does normally.
i am guessing its not really about the bowls.

TipOfTheSlung · 15/10/2011 21:00

People saying it's not his mess...
it's not his mess because it sounds like he doesn't do anything with or for the kids to make a mess

SazZaVoom · 15/10/2011 21:04

95% of the mess in this house is not 'mine'. I however clear it up so that we have a nice family home environment. I would expect others to do the same - a bit of give and take/support

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