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Original poster

Not to want to be head bridesmaid at sisters wedding??

63 replies

onwardandupwards · 14/10/2011 20:38

its not that we dont get on,i love her to bits,but my sis is a size 6,my other sisters who have also been asked to be bridesmaids are sizes 6 and 8, and her best mate is a size 8, however i am a size 22 and compared to them i will look huge! dont have much confidence any way and this is giving me nightmares. Dont want to upset her but dont want to look stupid either, please help!

OP posts:
Original poster
onwardandupwards · 14/10/2011 21:59

yes my sis is always like that, she drove past me on bus stop today as she was picking friends up and they dont like to be seen with "big people" and she doesnt want to many people to see us together "no offence" she said!

OP posts:
purplewerepidj · 14/10/2011 22:08

Wow. I have never encountered someone that horrible outside a Hollywood High School movie Shock

You need to help yourself to realise that she's the one in the wrong - a lot of weight issues are caused by lack of self-esteem, and she's about as helpful to you as reverse liposuction...

Original poster
onwardandupwards · 14/10/2011 22:18

we are only 11 months apart and she has always thought of herself as the best ( i was the trial one) she is sending her ds to a school no where near my ds school as she doesnt want people to know our children are cousins.(my ds is austic and needs lots of extra help) and she doesnt want her ds to be any thing like mine. she is very ignorant about children with special needs.

OP posts:
HowlmoaneeChainClanger · 14/10/2011 22:19

The skinny sis is a fucking bitch . What a nasty thing to say. Talk about sour!

Please please do the job your nice sister is asking you to do. I am a very large lady, and I was dreading my best friend getting married, because i was the size you are then. Was determined I was going to say thanks but no thanks. When she actually did ask me, she did it in such a way that I really couldnt say no. And I am so glad I did it. We had such a fun time, going dress shopping for her, picking patterns and fabric for us bridesmaids, helping her choose her flowers etc. It was one of the best days of my life.

And pidj - you made me spit coke (diet and caffeine free) when i read about reverse liposuction.

Original poster
onwardandupwards · 14/10/2011 22:21

reverse liposuction made me laugh so much

OP posts:
frumpet · 14/10/2011 22:31

When is the wedding ? if you feel upset about being overweight why not use this as your incentive to lose a bit ? cant do any harm to try can it ? But and its a big but , if you are not in a mental go getting fat fighters frame of mind ,like myself , then try to remember that your sister loves you and she wants you there and get all bridesmaidzilla on those other skinny malinkers Grin

Original poster
onwardandupwards · 14/10/2011 22:38

wedding is in August. Have so many other things going on as well, losing weight is another thing to sort out. may be lose a few pounds not b4 christmas though!

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RunsWithScissors · 14/10/2011 22:39

I think belly dancing is a fantastic idea. Very skinny people don't fit the image of it as well as curvy ones. It would help shift some weight AND make you comfortable in yourself. You'd carry yourself well, which makes a huge difference to how others perceive you. Don't invite poisonous sister to the class... Don't even mention them to her! Hth

Original poster
onwardandupwards · 14/10/2011 22:44

i think belly dancing could be the way to go!

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 14/10/2011 22:47

you can lose a few pounds before Christmas. walk an extra stop to the bus stop everyday and cut out one treat a day, for example. even if you put some weight back on at christmas, you still are better off, than if you lost no weight and then put on weight at christmas. [bossy cow emotion]

your skinny sister sounds horrible and jealous. the value of a person does not lie in theiir looks. looks fade. a value of a person lies in their character, and to be have chosen as chief bridesmaid means your nice sister values your character.

reverse lipo suction Grin

aldiwhore · 14/10/2011 22:49

Your other sis is a fucking knobber by the way... I know you love her an all, being your sister, but HOLY MOLY... she needs to be tripped up by a certain CHIEF bridesmaid on the wedding day doesn't she? (on the way out of the church/office not into)

You have what, almost a year. Get theeself to slimming world (evangelical moment sorry, I am not sorry) and eat yourself thinner.

And meh, you know what? Lose weight, don't lose weight WHATEVER... don't lose heart, your (nice) sister chose you as her 'matron/chief' and not your bitch of the other sister (who's probably nice deep down but I'm very forgiving, I actually think Ursula has many marvelous qualities and is down right sexeh) so listen lady... sort it out. Be proud of who you are, be proud of what you look like, make sure you look darn good... whatever your size, and if you're not happy, you have quite a few people on here who will happily be a buddy to you whilst to get to happyville (whether that means finding the right dress for you, or finding the right you for the dress).

I missed my chance with my sister because I didn't like myself. I'm by no means skinny now by the way, you won't find me in some magazine telling you about 'my story' with a glam size 10 photshoot... but pffft. I'm bloody ace me, I feel great, I'll stand next to anyone and be proud, whther they're a size 10, 0 or 42, and I'll feel OKAY!

Chin up. You are lovely. AND I don't even know what you look like!

Spuddybean · 14/10/2011 22:52

chief bridesmaids are the equivalent of best men. if she asked you it is because she loves you. if she loves you, she would never make you look silly. i'm sure your dress would be a different style to the other figures in the group.

just as certain styles look crap on size 6's certain styles look great on plus sizes.

just be clear about colours/styles you don't want to wear.

troisgarcons · 14/10/2011 22:59

You know what you have OP? va-va-voom!
Your sister has splutter-splutter-kaput!

I don't think you are half as ungainly and large as you perceive yourself! I think your sister is just a little bit in awe of your warm personality, good looks and charm and feels the need to keep you in your place - preferably by making you feel insecure which bolsters her feelings of self worth.

If your weight is bothering you, you can remedy that without any great lifestyle changes or expense... 2-3lbs a week with gentle exercise and switching some food stuffs; pop in a bit of extra walking.... but you know what? I bet you are actually gorgeous!

Bogeymanface · 14/10/2011 23:06

Your Bride sister obviously loves you and your Bitch sister obviously has major issues and is jealous of you.

Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel good, but be CBM. If you want to lose weight then you have the perfect incentive. If you dont, walk into that church with a smile on your face and your head held high.

You can gain or lose weight weight as it suits you, but your sister will be a bitch until the day she dies. I know who I would rather be :)

Bogeymanface · 14/10/2011 23:07

You know what you have OP? va-va-voom!
Your sister has splutter-splutter-kaput!

WSS ^^^^^ :o

Original poster
onwardandupwards · 14/10/2011 23:13

u are all so lovely u have actually made me cry ( happy tears!) am new to mumsnet and u have all made me feel so glad i joined x

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 14/10/2011 23:23

Alfred Angelo are great for bridesmaids of all sizes. They have a huge range of bridesmaids dresses, and i think they go up to 28.

My big bridesmaid and my tiny bridesmaid had different dresses but in the same fabric from them, and they both looked gorgeous. Different, but matching.

Original poster
onwardandupwards · 14/10/2011 23:26

great will have a look thank u.

OP posts:
KatyN · 15/10/2011 08:51

Do try and loose weight if you want to.... But my twopennies worth, I didn't pick my bridesmaid or my dh best man because how they look in the photos, they were the people we wanted for support on the day. That the best man is a lanky lad with the oddest smile ever doesn't cross my mind when I see the photos of our day.
Of course you can say no if it's really freaking you out, but the photos are so small a part of the day don't let them make your decision

Katy

SnapesMistress · 15/10/2011 09:29

Bitchy sister is a bitchface. How lovely that nice sister picked you out of all the others. I'm a size 20 and sometimes worry about weddings etc but I have seen some women bigger than me who are so confident that they just ooze sexiness and are so beautiful. It is possible!

NinkyNonker · 15/10/2011 09:31

Pmsl at splutter splutter kaput.

WitchesBrewIsMyFriend · 15/10/2011 09:40

oh your 'skinny' sister is an absolute bitch of the highest bitches. Obviously you have personality and she doesnt. What a cow!

Right, the other ladies upthread have given you some great dress advice and now I am giving you threads to read on another part of MN; there is the Special Needs part and also the healthy living part.

I lost weight earlier this year through what I found to be a very easy plan "India & Neris Idiot proof diet" so easy to do - unless you are vegetarian.

Have a look around, feel free to PM (private message) me if you want a chat.

I am sure you will look beautiful in the right style of dress.

AKMD · 15/10/2011 10:14

Just a thought about dresses - having hung around in various bridal shops recently, the photos where all the bridesmaids are wearing the same colour but different shades and different dresses are stunning. There is no need for you to be the odd one out if your nice sister would go for this look. Advice here and example in the second photo here.

Red2011 · 15/10/2011 10:25

Ooh I highly recommend bellydance - you don't have to be fit at all - just willing to try stuff AND you get ladies of all ages, shapes and sizes. Plus, not only do you get fitter and more flexible, you also gain loads of confidence.

Everyone else has pretty much said everything. The bride-to-be sister wants to include you, and will be understanding about your needs/wants. The other sister - well, I would do my best to take no notice.

If you are wanting to shed a few pounds then Bellydancing will help with that, it'll tone you up, and make you more shapely - but you could combine it with something else exercise-y; just make sure it is something you find fun.

BTW welcome to MN x

AKMD · 15/10/2011 10:26

More examples of what I'm talking about here.