To not take DD up north?

[Bubandbump]

My DD is 5 months old and a terrible sleeper as she has reflux.

I get an average of 4-5 hours broken sleep a night. My DH sleeps in the spare room and takes over at 5.30am before going to work at 7 for a 12 hour day.

DH has a week off next week that we were planning on having a couple of nights away and the rest at home to just spend some time together as we seem to barely see each other and are exhausted.

My DM has virtually put the phone down on me after requesting that we take DD to see them next week. I refused and tried to explain that we are already exhausted and a 6 hour (without counting feeding stops) car journey is too long and the 3 hour train journey sounds ok but requires 1.5 hours to travel into and across London to get to the station and an hours car journey once we arrive.

DD isn't an easy to get to sleep or contented baby. She hates the car seat and will only sleep in it for about an hour then wants to be out. Our one attempt at a night away before resulted in no sleep as she kept waking up in the travel cot every time her outstretched arms touched the sides.

My DM and DF have seen DD once as DF has fixed holidays and can't take a long weekend. I would love them to see her more but just can't face the journey, increased sleeplessness and inevitable parenting criticisms (breastfed, no dummy, no weaning) ATM. AIBU?

Do your mum and dad have to do everything together?

Why cant your mum come down on her own?

Can't believe your DM is cross with you, did you explain to her? Is there any reason why they can't come to you?

Oh your Mum's df, I thought you meant yours. Can Mum not visit without him?

YANBU. People are by and large so unrealistic about how long it takes to get to the proper North - it's a very big deal on no sleep, with a small child.

Please don't do it. We nearly had a serious car crash when we tried - DH got confused and disorientated leaving the motorway for a rest stop and thought he was on a dual carriageway when he wasn't. Now we only go with an overnight.

YANBU. Have a lovely week at home to recharge your batteries, either journey sounds like hell.

we had this. After a few years of a small baby/child doing 9+ hour car/train journeys we said we had enough and they can get off their arses and come down

YANBU 'It's grim oop north'

You have to do what feels right for you all. For most taking a 5 month old that far would be pretty doable but in your situation it's obviously mch harder.

Would meeting somewhere between the two places be an option?