To think DH should plan our son's surprise birthday party on another night?

[lurkinginthebackground]

Hi
I will try to be brief and not drip feed but might sound vague as I really don't want to out myself.

Next month it will be my son's 13th birthday. My Dh has just announced that he has had great idea. He (me!) will organise a surprise party for my ds. He knows where it will be held, he knows who he is going to ask to do the disco. So far so good. It cannot be held on ds's actual birthday as my dh is away that week including the weekend.
The problem is the date he has decided.

A bit of background. My dd2 has been very lucky in that she is going to be in the theatre. She beat literally hundreds of other hopefuls to get the part and we are over the moon. Now before auditioning it was clearly stated that she must be available for all dates including rehersals. On no account whatsoever must she miss a rehersal.
The date my dh is supposing for the party falls on a rehersal date. As well as this my dd1 is involved in something which takes place on this same day of the week. Ordinarily I would drive from work take dd1 and dd2 to the rehersals etc and then arrive home, very tired, at 10pm.

I have pointed out to dh that the date clashes and he has said that I can come home inbetween before driving back to get dd2. He has asked dd1 if she would miss her activities and she has agreed although I will still have to pay for it.

When I suggested 3 other dates for the party my dh has said no!
He has said that I am trying to sabbotage his ideas! and that if I won't go back for dd2 he will and he will have to miss some of the party!!!

Thanks for reading. AIBU please feel free to tell me or is Dh. I really don't see why any of us should have to miss our own son/brother's party tbh but perhaps I am missing something.
Ps dh says the venue he has in mind will only do this day of the week, which is a Friday,although I am not sure if this is true.

Ring the venue and check if it's true?

How old are your DDs?

Er - he's being a twat.

Hi my dds are 9 and 14 it is the 9 year old who will miss her brother's party, or most of it at least!
The other thing is I will have been working on the date, a Friday, so will be in a rush myself. Whereas 2 of the other dates I have suggested we are both off work.

Prince- that's what I am thinking, also he will be working the Friday too so we will all be rushing.
I never arrange things for a Friday as I have too much on.

It does sound unreasonable, but if he is organising the whole thing, and won't budge, just sit back and work your evening around your other childs rehersals.

Your DH is being unreasonable. He should change the days. Just as an after thought will your DS actually like a surprise party? I know when our DDs were 13 they would have hated that. They preferred and did choose what sort of party they wanted,

I dont mean to sound harsh...but your DH sounds like a bit of a prick!

How dare he lay down the law on days for a party for someone else that doesnt suit the rest of the family!

Baby don't worry I think he is bu.
It has always been me who has planned parties so I am wondering if he thought he was being helpful?!!!
I will tactfully mention it to him and see if we can alter the date.
Sometimes I think he doesn't fully understand the amount of planning which goes into things like this.