AIBU To think ths should be at the top of every messageboard..

[pumpkincarver]

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I love Stephen Fry sometimes, I need that on a t-shirt.

Liking it!

I am offended by your suggestion

Oh God I wish we were allowed Avatars on here...that would definitely be mine

Um no, it's not 'meaningless' You, Fry, nd your minions may disagree that it's worthy of consideration, but it's not meaningless. sheesh.

Sharrie, if you have spent a few hours on ths m/bn you will have noticed how easily people declare themselves "offended". Now, firstly, I doubt that they are really offended; secondly, I attribute this to being no more than a cliched trend these days. Like Fry says, "so fucking what?", it's a very unconsequiential thing to say, especially on a public forum where people are supposed to express their views freely.
To me when people say they find something offensive what they really mean is "this is in no way fluffy or mediocre enough, not in line with mainstram mentality, therefore I'm gonna declare myself offended by it because I don't really agree with it but I can't explain why".
It's just a bit too easy, lazy and shallow.

oh and after reading Fry's autobiogrphies I can tell you he doesn't love himself anywhere near as much as he should.

I think people use it too freely to silence discussion Sharrie and that is the point he is making. It's like walking on eggshells at times.

Apart from his last sentence, I wholly agree with the delectable Mr Fry.

Oh I do love that! If I had any idea at all about the profile thing on here I'd have it there like a shot!

How is he with "I think that's a very hurtful, inconsiderate, nasty thing to say to/about another person"?

I don't agree with the sentiment either. If somebody says they are offended they are effectively saying that they are upset and angry and I don't think the correct response to that is "so what?" It may be legitimate to ask them why they are offended, to point out if they are being inconsistent, or to point out that the thing that's offending them isn't doing any harm or that they have the choice of avoiding it. But you can't just disregard it if you want to have a dialogue with someone.

Presumably if Fry said that he was saying it in the context of supporting free speech and opposing censorship?

Saying that you are offended can also be a way of saying that you care deeply about something even though it may not directly affect you - eg I am offended by racism, homophobia and poverty even though I am white, married and middle-income. So if someone makes a homophobic or racist 'joke' I may say I find it offensive - I don't see what's wrong with that.

Pumpkincarver, would you, perhaps marry me? Because you are what my Geordie sister in law would term "Eeee, you're lush lass, man." ;D

(I assume you're a lass. Otherwise amend that to "Eeee, you're lush, mate, man." ;D)

i think it's lazy and shallow ti dismiss other's 'offence' out of hand. they might just have a point you know. I'm not arrogant enough to think i'm right about everything, i have my share of thoughtless kneejerk reactions too. I'm a big girl, I can take it if someone points out I'm in the wrong. I can disagree with them of course, but you know i'm not perfect, my take on things isn't fact.

sorry bd typing bfing at mo

I think the Venerable Mr Fry is speaking in the context of the current atmosphere of political correctness where if anyone complains that they are offended by anything on TV then the broadcaster is told that they must apologise. Regardless if the person being offended is a small-minded bigot, or Mahatma Gandhi. It's impossible to avoid offending someone, somewhere. Yes, you have every right to feel offended and to complain. But you need to have some rational argument to support your complaint, not just the state of being offended.

And the 'opponents' for want oif a better word should have a rational argument of why they said what they said too, if they don't want to aplogise. 'lighten up love' isn't an argument

No but you should not trundle out the "I'm offended" patter to silence debate. It happens all too often. You can be talking about how 4x4s are now used frequently for the school run and how dangerous they can be for other children and then someone will come along and say "I'm a 4x4 driver and I'm offended by your argument"

Or you can post a light-hearted thread about someone falling over a patch of ice and sliding on their bum and someone will get all stroppy and offended.

Some people will take the chance to be offended at EVERYTHING just because they can. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Surely you've seen the increase on Mumsnet alone? I can start a thread about duck fucking and someone, guaranteed, will come on to tell me that they are offended.

Being offended in itself is not a good enough reason to stifle a debate or a conversation. You have to explain yourself and be prepared to enter into the conversation. Saying that you quite like ducks isn't a good enough reason to be offended by my duck fucking thread.

I sometimes think the 'I'm offended' statement can be a form of manipulation because I for one dislike offending people and would withdraw at that point in the argument

Sometimes though a good hefty dose of grow the fuck up and get real helps. Tis true that some people can find a way to get offended very, very easily.

Look at the Daily Mail letters page and weep.

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy y

Obv Sharrie, but those potential offensive timebombs are fairly evident I would say. If you are saying that black ducks are better shags than white ducks then you do not need to explain your offence, it is a mass offence.

But as RedRuby says, it can often be used merely to silence people into thinking that they daren't talk about the subject matter further because there is potential to cause offence. Well every subject matter has the potential to cause offence, so surely we should use the "I'm offended" statement wisely or it becomes meaningless. Which I think is Mr Fry's point.