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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to sedate my child in the evenings!

60 replies

friendlysort · 13/10/2011 10:58

Obviously I don't mean this, am not in favour of unnecessary drugging.

However, my 6 year old DS is impossible in the evenings and it breaks my heart. Following on from the 'all sleep issues are the parents fault thread' he has always been difficult to get to sleep and we have tried everything since the day he was born.

He finds it impossible to wind down, and the more tired he gets, the more frantic and irrational he becomes and the less sleep he gets.

He eats really well, we walk to and from school plus he has plenty of other physical activity.

His concentration is poor, and far far worse when he's tired and I worry that it will have more and more impact on his abilities at school.

Last night, he was exhausted. He becomes impossible to keep still, can't sit down for story - makes snorting noises, contorts face, thrashes legs about, kicks off covers. If I leave him to it, he gets up and starts emptying cupboards.

It is proper hyper active behaviour, although he is perfectly fine, bright and lovely when not tired (although always very energetic)

I eventually got him to go to sleep at about 8:15, but he was still up at 6, thrashing around, being fidgety and grumpy.

All of a sudden I just feel so sad about it, I don't like him when he is like this and I feel like I am letting him down.

I just wish I could do something to knock him out for 12 hours so he can reset himself and get back to his normal lovely self.

[sleep deprived and emotional cavat]

I am not actually going to drug him

OP posts:

CaptainNancy · 13/10/2011 12:32

We have to start bath at 6. If it gets to 6pm and they're not ready to go upstairs then I just skip bath that evening, and use face cloths. It's the only way I can get everything done. I have to catch her before she's overtired and goes manic.

TheOriginalFAB · 13/10/2011 12:35

My 6 year old sleep 7-6.45am and really needs his sleep.

kalidasa · 13/10/2011 13:01

My parents gave me Valigan for this quite regularly (cough medicine I think? can still taste it!). I really liked it and didn't really realise. My father is actually a doctor!

Tbh it took me well into adulthood to really get the hang of winding down at night, and even so despite really rigid 'sleep hygiene' (strict routine, no work/TV in the bedroom, always getting up at the same time etc) it's still sometimes a disaster. I'm pressured at work at the moment and my DP is going away today and last night I just couldn't switch off at all - got about 2 hours between 1 and 3 and another hour or so at about 5 am and that was all. Terrible!

For some people winding down really is an art you have to learn consciously and which takes a long time. I don't think he necessarily needs to go to bed earlier but maybe the 'winding down' process needs to start earlier in the evening? especially if he's just begun school. E.g. maybe no homework/spellings/mention of school after 5pm or something? My DP and I enforce this sort of rule with ourselves because we are both neurotic a bit highly-strung and if we talk about work after supper we just wind ourselves up.

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 13/10/2011 13:05

My older two are like this and we tried everything. Only thing that worked is doing reading downstairs before bath then bath/shower then tucked up in bed with a dvd for half an hour watching the dvd forces them to stay still and it goes off at the end the are fast asleep. They used to be up until well after 9 but now are asleep by 7:30 and sleep through. Some people will hate this but its the only way we found to keep them still long enough to get tired!

Sidalee7 · 13/10/2011 13:19

I think its really dangerous to use medised/piriton to get to sedate, I think this could lead to major sleep issues through teenage/adulthood.

mistlethrush · 13/10/2011 13:31

Sounds precisely like my 6.5yo. He gets more and more active as he gets tireder and tireder and it gets more and more difficult to get him to bed and then he's more likely to be up and down a few times before finally going down properly. And, for my ds, no, 10 hrs is not sufficient sleep. During the summer hols he was probably getting about 11 hrs. However, we're having to try to up that now he's back at school - this last week we've been aiming towards 12 because he clearly needs it. He also gets very hot at night - we can't use the summer tog duvet even in the winter - he has two cotton blankets and a fleece one (that normally ends up off the bed).

Your situation is more difficult because of ds2 - we don't have a younger child's requirements to fit in around ds. However, thsi is our routine for school nights.

Ds is normally in a club after school, so we get in about 4.45. We get a drink, sort out reading and any other homework and dispatch that asap. We get tea ready for 5.30 - so that he has about 40 mins to eat that before going up for a bath or shower - if all has gone in a streamlined fashion he gets a story - none if its too late - and two songs - and then we leave the radio on in his room (it turns off automatically, you choose the length of time its on). I think music's quite good rather than, say, a story cd as it is slightly less likely that they'll get drawn in to listening hard and really want to stay awake until the end.

If we let bedtime wait for the 'manic' to set in its doomed.

TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 13/10/2011 14:05

DS had phenegan (sp) and it honestly helped so much. 6 months on bedtimes are straightforward, no drugging and a much happier me!
As long as it's not long term I don't see how there could be sleep issues in the future

porcamiseria · 13/10/2011 14:06

my friends were advised to us e a herbal sedative bu their GP, it worked!

Dejahoo · 13/10/2011 18:00

He just might not be that tired. If you say he eventually went to sleep at 8.15 what time did you start trying to get him to sleep? Also if he's asleep at 8 and awake by 6, that is loads of sleep.

pigletmania · 13/10/2011 18:02

tiaras whats the name of it pleas I could use some.

pigletmania · 13/10/2011 18:03

porc whats the names of this herbal stuff I want some for dd.

TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 13/10/2011 18:16

Fenegan or phenegan. Something like that! It's also used for travel sickness I think

pigletmania · 13/10/2011 18:17

oh thanks Tiaras is it herbal?

bran · 13/10/2011 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

friendlysort · 13/10/2011 18:36

Fenegan isn't herbal. My mum used to give it to me in the 70s. I think it's like Ketamin for children.

OP posts:

3rdnparty · 13/10/2011 18:36

I dropped baths at night for my ds 6.5 as they woke him up too much...i also would probably skip the spellings/school reading then as well - we do in the morning as he is up at 6 anyway pretty much no matter what time he's gone to bed! or straight after dinner, i too brought bedtime forward esp the first term in yr 1 its a tough term....we use a mixture of story from us, then audio cds, a couple of kids meditation ones, some story ones and his current fave is one that came with a planatarium (sp) that talks about the solar system- I have tried music/sounds in the past but he got impatient - may try again though... hth its a real pain i know

pigletmania · 13/10/2011 18:39

oh no thats not good, need something herbal

AuntiePickleBottom · 13/10/2011 18:51

DS1 has his stories, followed by 2 songs

i think you are stimualting him too much before bed. I would cut it down to 1 story, hugs and kisses then walk out of the bedroom. If he comes out just put him back to bed.

it is tough at first, but if you perserver it may pay off

TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 13/10/2011 19:05

It's what the HV recommended and my aunt got for DS and my cousin. She's a children's ward sister so I don't think she would have got it if it was that bad

TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 13/10/2011 19:06

No not herbal. I'm wary of trying herbal things on the kids as DD reacts to products and medicines quite easily so don't have them in the house

pigletmania · 13/10/2011 19:06

oh ok Tiaras was it recently though.

pigletmania · 13/10/2011 19:07

i know i would get flamed on here for using it, sometimes needs must

pigletmania · 13/10/2011 19:07

dd has SN and her sleep has always been erratic, hit and miss, so therefore if she has had bad sleep she is awful for school

TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 13/10/2011 19:10

It was about 6 months ago. I used it for a few nights and it did work. DS was being assessed for AS at the time and I didn't take the decision to use it lightly

pigletmania · 13/10/2011 19:15

I might get some where did you get it from?

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