To Get DS christened without telling his dad?

[HolyQ]

DS is almost 4 and doesn't have any contact with XP due to his violence (which was also towards DS in the end)

I keep in contact with XP via email, and keep him updated on his medical conditions, but try to keep the amount of contact minimal due to him trying to be emotionally abusive even over email.

I feel as though I probably should tell him about our DS's upcoming baptism, but fear that if he did find out, he would research as to where it was being done, and as I live in a small village, once he found out where the church was, he would have stumbled across our home before he even got to the church. He hasn't been allowed to know where we live for almost 2 years, we were rehoused to escape him.

I'm a bit torn..

Unfortunately Pollykitten being nominally of one religion or another has never stopped men or women doing things that the tenets of the religion say you should not do.

Thank you Andrew.. :)

I always try to be as reasonable as I can be, as I'm aware there are woman out there who refuse access without good cause, I try to be seen to do as much as I can.

Any time I tell someone that DS isn't allowed contact with his dad, I see them instantly judge me and I often feel as though I need to give an explaination as to why.

I can see why you want to tell him. You sound like a really nice person, by the way.

However, it's too much of an identifying detail. You cannot allow an abusive man's "rights" to prejudice your son's safety, and I'm afraid I think it would.

"I have offered XP supervised access but he hasn't been interested."

so he has no interest.
so it doesnt matter to him if he christened or not does it
so dont tell him.

does he request information on ds?
or you just send him anyway?

I send him, he never asks. Maybe once in the 3+ years we have been apart.

It was advised by my solicitor to keep him informed of his medical conditions and wellbeing.

Don't tell him and tbh I don't see why you have to tell him after the event either. Being baptised is hardly like getting a tattoo, there will be nothing to show for it

Safety first. Don't mention it.