to think I should get a thank you card?

[beatenbyayellowskull]

I went to my niece's wedding in a far flung country (OK, I realise am the one who moved away) and spent about £120 on her engagement and wedding present (I put in for a massive one with the other members of the family).

I haven't received a thank you card after 4 months, so I don't think it's going to arrive now.

AIBU?

YANBU, but some people just don't do thank you cards. I don't think I've had one for the last wedding I went to. I sent cards after mine to everyone who came or bought us a present.

Nope, it's bad form not to send thank you cards. However, it may be that it got lost along the way or that your niece is still in the process of organising them, so hold your fire for another little while yet.

No. We had a similar situation and when we made enquiries the thank you note got lost in the post. Some people just don't have the same ideas of good manners as others.

Most people send thank you letters/cards, but I wouldn't be fussed if I didn't get one.

Unless there's more to this story?

did she say thank you at the time?

No I only saw her at the wedding, and obviously there's a lot for a bride to do at her wedding.

AgentZigZag, there is a little bit, but I just wanted an objective view. Nothing major, I've only ever seen a difficult side to her, but my sister thinks she's great, so we've disagreed about this. And I don't know what I've done to deserve her being standoffish, so trying to decide if I'm being too sensitive.

but secretly I think it's rude

It wouldn't really bother me, tbh I don't think I'd actually realise. A thank you card is nice to receive but certainly not expected. As long as you enjoyed the day and you have a good relationship with your neice I really wouldn't dwell on it

Two of my cousins (sisters) had babies within a month of each other, I sent them both cards and gifts, got a thank you card from one but not the other.

It hasn't made me think anything of the one I didn't get one from.

Unless you're the only one who hasn't had any thanks, I would just pass it off as you looking for something to back up your view that she's a difficult person

Yanbu.

AgentZigZag I think you're right, dammit

Who cares?

Agree - it would only rile me if I was looking for something to confirm an opinion I was already forming.

It is rude, really poor form - especially as you travelled so far too. How depressing to see that some mnetters don't think it's a big deal - this is basic etiquette.

I didn't get a thank you card from some friends when they got married a few years ago and I have to say my estimation of them suffered quite considerably!

Our thank you cards got blown up in the post box as sum scrote darling teen thought it would be hilarious to put a load of bangers in the post box about an hour after we posted them

sum? sum? some

I would be concerned, if I had put into a group present, that she didn't realised that the present was partly from me and thought that I hadn't bothered to give a gift. On that basis YANBU and I would follow it up (tactfully) to check that your contribution was understood.

That's a good point, breatheslowly.

I'll check it out, subtley, maybe via my sister who organised it, to start with.