to sell clothes that DP has promised to my sister?

[pantspantspants]

I have DD1 (nearly 4) and DD2 (2.5) and newborn DS. DS is our last so I plan to sell my baby girls clothes to make some money so I can buy DS clothes and in turn sell these for bigger clothes for all DC.

All baby girls clothes washed, ironed and bagged ready to be sold. I know Im not going to make alot but anything will her the clothing fund.

Sister has now announced they are trying for DC3, they have DD and DS already. They are well off, 6 bed house, good cars, very well paid jobs. DP then offered these clothes to them.
She still has her baby clothes for both DC so, don't know why she needs mine. Or why DP offered them.

My sister always takes but never gives. she expects me to have her DC at the drop of a hat, leaves DD with me with no nappy and not really potty trained while I was heavily pregnant. expects me to feed DC when she turns up with them.

Anyway after the offer I told DP how annoyed I was as I really needed the money, he already knew my plans, also admitted that as sister didn't offer for me to borrow her baby boy clothes so I have brought new, I didn't see why we should give her extra baby girl clothes for a baby not even conceived yet. we agreed not to mention it to sister again and if she did we would tell her that we were selling the baby stuff. and offer her to buy any she wanted.

had she been in need i would have given her the clothes happily but she's not and already has clothes.

So this next visit she notices clothes, in DD2 bedroom and said oh I'll take them now shall I? To which I said actually we now need to sell the clothes but she can look through a buy any that she likes. She shrugs and says no I've got clothes already just fancied some more incase we have a girl. Now she keeps on commenting on DS clothes saying she can't wait until he's out of them and then she can have them. I commented on yep I'll be selling them too when the time comes. she then exploded saying she had been promised clothes and we couldn't take the promise back. I told her that DP hadn't understood my need to sell them to be able to buy more clothes for DC and if I don't sell them we would struggle to find the money else where. I apologised for the confusion and explained DP shouldn't of offered the clothes.

She then said I should give her the clothes as they were promised and if I needed extra money I could clean for them as they are needing a cleaner. She has just left I feel very bad for the clothes but also because we work hard for the little money we have and Im stretched looking after 2 preschoolers and a newborn while DP is away alot, can't be her cleaner.

so, should I give her the clothes that she doesn't need? Because of DP not thinking. or go with my original plan? She can't see why I want to sell the clothes as she can offer me this "job" (she has a history of getting my other sisters to do jobs round the house but never paying them for).

sorry for caps/typos im on my phone.

[TheControversialJessie]

You have three children, one of whom is a newborn. Mothers of newborns need cleaners for their own houses!

[QuintessentialDead]

Swapping clothes seem like a good idea. How old is her ds?

[AKMD]

No, no, no. No swapping clothes. That breaks the no-flaming rule.

[RubyLovesMayMay]

"She then said I should give her the clothes as they were promised and if I needed extra money I could clean for them as they are needing a cleaner."

IS SHE HAVING A LAUGH??!!

So you must give her things that you and DH paid for knowing that you're hard up at the moment

For a child that doesn't exist yet. Because she "just fancied some more incase we have a girl"

And if your skint you can go and scrub her toilets.

And this is your sister

Just what exactly does she think of you?

From the tone of your OP you sound like you're going to buckle under the pressure if she keeps pressing the matter.

Please don't.

Tell her to jog on

[MrsDreadfullyMorbidMausoleum]

Not read all the replies, but Jesus Christ this woman has entitlement issues!

You could become her cleaner ffs?

No. No no no no no no no no.

No.

She is having a laugh.

[Pancakeflipper]

You know what to do. you don't even have to ask that.

You do what you want to do with the clothes that belong to your kids.

Then you smile sweetly at her and tell her to get lost and never waste any anger on her again.

[slavetofilofax]

Your sister sounds like a cow. Don't give her anything.

[Stropzilla]

Point out 1) she is not pregnant, 2) she has never offered YOU clothes, 3) you will NOT be her cleaner, 4) are selling the clothes they are your property regardless of what someone else may have said so 5) fuck off.

[Caffeinefiend]

YANBU...I have a SIL who is like that. Takes but never gives....Sorry but your sister is being unreasonable and selfish.

[TheControversialJessie]

Oh, I wouldn't go with the swap idea, because if you give your sister a load of washed and ironed baby clothes that you have carefully prepared into saleable condition, what will she give you in return? What?

Judging from the snapshot of her we have in your posts, probably two moth-eaten babygros, that are still covered in old baby sick!

[pantspantspants]

Thanks for the replies. With hormones, stress of partner being away and general stretching money to the limit issues I had a sudden "oh no what if I'm in the wrong" moment. I suddenly thought that I had been so tied up in my own family recently that I had failed to see her point of view.

But shes not pregnant, has very nice clothes of her own to use and has never offered my DC anything. Also I love the girls baby clothes and although we weren't planning a DC4 and always said the clothes wouldn't be kept. A traumatic birth of DS has meant we couldn't risk another so I'm not sure I could cope very well with seeing my clothes on such a close relative. equally I wouldn't want them to be unused if they don't have DC3 or she doesn't fancy using them.

She also had/has alot of family help with her DC and Doesn't seem to understand what maternity leave and no help from family does to your time money and energy. We have very different lives and commitments but I thought she would understand.

[WilsonFrickett]

Oh, I really don't think you are failing to see her point of view OP. Nope. Not at all. You may be failing to agree with it, but I think that might possibly be OK.

[Inertia]

YANBU. Your sister is taking the piss. I would 1) get DP to phone her and tell her that he made a mistake; and 2 ) stop doing things for her at the drop of a hat.

[chicletteeth]

She's a rude, entitled cock!
Tell her to fuck off and she can clean your house if she wants your clothes for free.

[chicletteeth]

self entitled.

Oh, you know what i mean

[kellestar]

Plus, it would only miff you if she had a boy and then went onto sell all your stuff that was given to her for free.

Sell it on, better for your pocket. Any NCT sales near you? Or MN classifieds, MN local listings are free, or the classic eBay.

[neolara]

She sounds bonkers. Do what you want with the clothes.

[cottonreels]

YANBU

[Floggingmolly]

Tell her to fuck off. Offering to let you clean for her! Tell her once and then refuse to engage in any further nonsense. And have a word with your DH! Hope he's learnt his lesson.

[OTheHugeWerewolef]

YANBU at all. Well done for sticking by your decision and not letting this bossy cow walk all over you.