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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not buy 'Goodbye Mog' for DD

15 replies

Milchardo · 12/10/2011 07:51

DD (2.6) loves all the Mog stories but, having blubbed reading the reviews of 'Goodbye Mog' online, I just can't bring myself to buy this one for her. Sad

We have four cats (a couple are getting on a bit) and I know it would be a great book to help deal with the inevitable, but I also know I won't be able to read it for crying!

OP posts:
pigletmania · 12/10/2011 07:54

She is only 2 I would leave it.

OddBoots · 12/10/2011 07:58

Is it worth getting and keeping it tucked out of the way in case it is useful at a later date?

Northernlurker · 12/10/2011 08:02

I won't buy it either. At a MUCH later date ok maybe but our cat is only two and we love Mog. Mog is living forever in this household atm.

Have you got MOg on Fox night - love that one!

pigletmania · 12/10/2011 08:05

If it makes you feel that way think of how it will make a toddler feel who has less understanding and is still little

pigletmania · 12/10/2011 08:12

You don't need to introduce the concepts yet, when the cat dies then get it fir them to help you explain things

crispface · 12/10/2011 08:13

I am going to go against the grain hee, but I too have many elderly pets, and was really worried about how I would cope with mine and my child's grief when they died, without the relentles questions from my child as well.

I bought goodbye mog when dd was 3.5, and read it a few times to myself to desensitise myself. It is actually such a lovely book, and got dd and I talking about our pets abd how we'll miss them when they die, but that they will always be watching us.

Dd will now comment when she sees the sun's rays that somebody's pet has died and is going to the sun where it will be very happy.

ithaka · 12/10/2011 08:15

Children are much more pragmatic and less sentimental about death than adults, so I suspect your daughter will cope with Goodbye Mog just fine.

Sadly, we have had a lot of death in our house so I am something of an expert on grief books for young children. Goodbye Mog is lovely but the best one in my view is The Sunshine Cat by Miriam Moss.

However, YANBU because you do not have to buy and read a book you think will upset you.

pigletmania · 12/10/2011 09:32

I just wouldn't unless you have to, or she asks, she is still only little

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 12/10/2011 09:37

Hang on a sec........MOG, dies. ?

Sad

Oh......I think I have something in my eye.

Pompoko · 12/10/2011 09:45

She will not fully understand it but will start her gently into understanding death.
my ds is 3 and have always been open about death and he understands death is another word for gone. Not a everyday word but he knows when something is dead it doesnt come back.
Better to learn this from a book/ road kill/ nature programs than when a love one dies and the child has no idea this happens or expects them to come back

redwineformethanks · 12/10/2011 09:58

I'd say that it's probably healthy for children to have an understanding of death and dying from an early age. A book is quite a good way to introduce the subject

pigletmania · 12/10/2011 10:06

I just don't see the point unless ask. It's not a nice subject. I think we view young children as being like adults and having the same thinking which they don't. I remember being about 7-8 and dad talking about funerals and what he wanted, it made me so distressed and upset. He was healthy at the time but 2 years later he died of cancer. It's wire a big topic for anyone let alone a very young child.

Earthymama · 12/10/2011 10:12

I bought Goodbye Mog for my grandchildren when my mother's death was approaching. It deals with the subject most sensitively.

My daughter was a little surprised to find that her DP had been cheerfully reading this to the kids as part of their bedtime routine of a book from the Miffy collection each night!

catsmother · 12/10/2011 10:22

I think Goodbye Mog is a beautifully written book but there's no doubt about it - it can certainly prompt the waterworks. I sobbed, I mean really sobbed when I first read it, and then sobbed again when I only skimmed through it at a Judith Kerr exhibition. Being a lifelong cat lover and owner may have something to do with it I suppose !

Personally, if your child has had to deal with the death of a pet, I think it's a good, straightforward and sensitive book to share with them ... my daughter has experienced two of our cats dying and can still get very upset about it, but far better I think to tackle the subject head on - even through tears - than pretend it doesn't exist or is something taboo. If you have pets which are likely to die in the near(ish) future then Goodbye Mog could maybe prompt a talk about dying which might help prepare them for the fact pets aren't around forever ... though if it doesn't prompt questions from the child, I wouldn't be inclined to force the issue if they treat it more matter of factly.

Stropzilla · 12/10/2011 10:27

I would get it and stash it. I was caught out a bit when a friend died, and I had to explain what had happened and faced all the "But where IS she?" questions. A book would have been really helpful! I think I managed to explain things ok, DD seems perfectly happy with my attempt but something like Mog would have been great.

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