AIBU to feel really not over this?

[Cathycomehome]

On Monday night, I think I was in danger of death or serious injury.

I am quite (quite a lot) car phobic. Monday evening we took the Brownies to a trip at the local recycling centre in town (about 25 minutes away - we are rural). So, various parents brought the Brownies and my son (eleven year old reluctant honorary Brownie due to no childcare) and I travelled with the Brownie Leader.

On the way home, she shot a red light at a four way intersection (by accident - she said she didn't see it), and drove me and my son into the middle of three lanes of oncoming traffic. How we a: escaped serious injury, b:all other vehicles involved escaped serious injury, and c: you are not hearing on the news about the multiple car pile up in the middle of Northampton, I don't know.

I couldn't sleep last night, and felt sick all day. The driver came into school to see me and apologized today, and I know she feels awful, and it was a mistake, but I can't stop thinking about it.

My acceptance of apology was as gracious as I could make it, but I STILL feel shaken up - AIBU?

Stop belittling your son's feelings, he feels just as bad as you do and yet you're making him feel worse by making out he's wrong to feel that way. Let him talk about it and work it out in his head, and confirm for him that it was scary and that you feel the same way. This is a good lesson for him to learn about how dangerous driving can be. Hopefully it will just give him a good respect for driving. Either way, it's happened now and minimising it does not help at all.

As for how you're feeling, you're experiencing a very strong survival mechanism that is unpleasant for a good reason. If you experience a life-threatening situation like that your body releases huge amounts of adrenaline which make you feel pumped and shaky at the time but very very ill afterwards. Every time you think about it you get another sick-making shot of adrenaline. It also has the side effect of making the memory very clear in your mind which in turn causes you to avoid that situation in future.

You just need to ride it out I'm afraid.

get over it, it was nothing

So it is tact day on MN today....

Have you read some of the other posts on this thread?

One similar incident resulting in the death of a person and imprisonment for the driver.

Another similar incident resulting in injury to a poster on this thread.

Thanks for replies (including "get over it" - I know I do have to). Feeling better now, and it has been good to express feelings - son seems entirely unconcerned now, which I guess is a good thing?

You are all OK. She will have learnt a lot from it and will drive more carefully. You will probably never travel with her again. Life is full of near misses in one way or another. Maybe feeling a bit wound up abou tthe event is acutally a healthy thing for everyone involved?

Agree with skybluepearl and CailinDana When I was learning to drive nearly 20 years ago, my instructor once deliberately allowed me to mistakenly go through a red light onto a pedestrian crossing. A woman crossing at the time shouted angrily through the windscreen at me "It's a GREEN MAN!!" and I was mortified, of course - but my instructor knew what he was doing as it made such an impression on me and shook me up so much that I certainly never did that again!

Can understand why you're feeling so rattled, but I hope it might possibly be a similar wake-up call for the driver?

I have two acquaintances (one male and one female, as it happens) from whom I will never accept a lift again - and that has cost me taxi-fares - because they are repeat-offender mad drivers. But a one-off incident is another matter - you may have to put that down to experience. Good luck.