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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do i stay home with poorly DS?

20 replies

nothingbyhalves · 10/10/2011 20:05

One of my 20 month old DStwins has got a nasty bout tonsilitus, temp was 39 this morning. Is now on antibiotics. He slept all morning, and basically clung onto me all afternoon, with on and off crying. He hasn't really eaten anything since Friday. Did manage to get some chocolate into him this afternoon. I know.......but he had refused everything else!

Poor twin by this afternoon was getting really bored, as they usually go out everyday as I like to keep them busy and sociable. I'm due to be in work tomorrow, and they would be going to my sister in law who lives 50 miles away (close to where dh works). I'm really in 2 minds about sending him up. Not that I have any doubts about the care my sis in law will give him, just that i'm not sure how fair it is to lumber her with one poorly boy and another bored and fustrated one! And as a mum I want to look after my poorly boy myself as all he wants is cuddles off me!

So do I stay home from work and sent well ds up to his aunts for a fun day, and look after my poorly boy? Or do I send them both up? DH doesn't have the option of day off unfortunatley. I don't have the most understanding boss either tho.

Days like today I so wish i was a sahm!

OP posts:

troisgarcons · 10/10/2011 20:07

See in the morning. Children have remarkable powers of recovery.

squeakytoy · 10/10/2011 20:10

She can still take him out. Fresh air will not make him any worse.

jellybeans · 10/10/2011 20:10

I would stay home with him/both of them. That is a long way for a poorly little one to travel.

Original poster

nothingbyhalves · 10/10/2011 20:12

Jellybeans, the distance was also a worry for me.

OP posts:

Petesmum · 10/10/2011 20:15

I'd definitely wait till morning before deciding. But personally I'd be considering sending bored twin to sister in law & staying at home with poorly one.

NorfolkBroad · 10/10/2011 20:15

I would stay at home with one or both of them. I know it is a bloody nightmare being a working mum when one of your dcs is ill but I have always felt absolutely horrible when I have made the decision not to stay with them. Very difficult i know.

Fixture · 10/10/2011 20:17

Yes, stay home. You can deal with the boss later!

Original poster

nothingbyhalves · 10/10/2011 20:21

Thanks guys! Will see how they are in the mrning, but am leaning towards idea of keeping poorly ds home with me.

OP posts:

troisgarcons · 10/10/2011 20:22

Do you have the option to work from home?

sunshineandbooks · 10/10/2011 20:23

I sympathise. When my DTs were this age they picked up every bug going. I'm fortunate to be able to work from home (works ok with tonsillits, though less so with D&V ) but I got quite hard-hearted about illness in the end and nearly always left it til the morning to make decisions. Children are amazing for being at death's door at 3am but fully recovered and bouncing on your bed by 7.

Good luck and hope your little boy gets better soon.

Original poster

nothingbyhalves · 10/10/2011 20:24

I'm a teacher so no option to work from home or take a flex day. lots of lovely holidays but no flexibility.

OP posts:

larks35 · 10/10/2011 20:25

First off, I agree with others about checking how he is in the morning, he may be a lot brighter.
If he is still that poorly then (and I am speaking as a full-time working mum) I would stay at home with him. My lovely childminder would probably want this too as she also has other charges to cater for, but even if that wasn't the case I would want to comfort him if he was that poorly. Sod your boss on this occasion, your kids do come first.

larks35 · 10/10/2011 20:27

OP I'm a teacher too and find that my work are very understanding when problems like this arise, possibly because I am very rarely ill myself. Most LEAs have a policy of parents being allowed up to 10 days paid per year for childhood illness.

herbietea · 10/10/2011 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IHeartKingThistle · 10/10/2011 20:31

I'm a teacher too and I posted on here in the winter because I wanted to stay home with 2yo DS who had chicken pox, even though the childminder had agreed to take him. I got a resounding 'Go To Work!'. I went to work. He was fine. But the guilt, the guilt...

IHeartKingThistle · 10/10/2011 20:33

Larks my school are NOT understanding, and days off because dependents are ill are now unpaid

I want to work in your LEA!

Sorry OP forgot to say I hope your DS feels better soon

clam · 10/10/2011 20:38

Oh I sympathise! I'm a teacher too and although my two are older now so it's less of a problem, I well remember that sinking feeling when they went all hot, snuffly and clingy.
Look it just can't be helped. It's not just a cold, he has tonsillitis. That's "proper" ill! I know it's tough when you're landing colleagues in it, but you take on extra when others are off, I'm sure.
Stay home with your poorly boy.

Original poster

nothingbyhalves · 10/10/2011 20:42

larks35, as i'm part time, i'm only allowed 3 days a year paid per year. I've only got half a day left as ds's had chickenpox in the spring which left me with no childcare at that time due to other family illness' Also my head has taken half days off me in the past when I've been late in by under a hour to take boys to doc first thing in morning.

OP posts:

Original poster

nothingbyhalves · 11/10/2011 08:11

DS had a temp of 39 this morning and was clingy and generally unhappy. I've stayed at home with him and sent his brother up fr a fun day with auntie! Its my day off tomorrow and have arranged for mil to come and stay with us for the rest of the week
Thanks all xx

OP posts:

clam · 11/10/2011 12:41

I'm part-time, and I guess you offset the reduced allowance with the hope that they'll be ill on the days you're off anyway! (well, not "hope they'll be ill!" You know what I mean!) We used to get by some of the time that way, sometimes DH would take the time off, sometimes lovely MIL. We got by, thankfully through having reasonably healthy kids. But it's such a stress.

Hope he recovers soon.

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