to ask about cheating?

[JaneFonda]

Would you think that hand holding and cuddling someone else (either whilst drunk or sober) is cheating?

Not cheating but certainly questionable behaviour towards someone a person only vaguely knows. It would be different if that person was an old, dear friend, then I'd have said you were overreacting.

I hope it's a wake up call for your DP and wish your little girls continued strength and good health - and you a rapid end to this horribly stressful time.

Have now found out it could have gone a LOT further than a cuddle.

I need a hand hold please. One that doesn't lead to anything more. :(

:(

Is this info coming from a reliable source?

I am not sure what to suggest. I posted my initial thoughts before you had mentioned your babies, which puts it in a completely different light anyway. He shouldnt be out on the piss partying, he should be with you, and if a release from stress is needed (which I am sure it is, for BOTH of you), it should be you who he is taking out for a quiet drink....

I am sorry but with your daughters in hospital there is absolutely no way that going out on a bender is an acceptable behaviour.
do you feel the need to release tension in such a way? are you due some of that soon?
or are you holding the fort at home?
what do you want and need from him?

not even going to hand holding or whatever with some woman, neither here nor there under the circunstances

Oh no- what's happened?

For me its a matter of "would you do what you are doing infront of your partner?". I have hugged people and held a guys hand (the guy was gay so didnt worry about what it would look like to anyone. All hugs have been short and platonic and would have been happily and comfortably done if dh was standing next to me. If you need to worry about what it looks like then there is a bit more to it and probably not acceptable.

In this context I would say boundarys have been pushed.

Sorry just read your update. Hope all is ok

Just read this and thought 'uh oh' on page one. He should be taking you for a meal and a drink, as another poster said. Especially with your dc in SCBU. Is the person who told you a good friend op?

I can imagine perhaps getting too drunk when under stress, and ending up hogging the karaoke or getting into a stupid argument as a consequence. But not being unfaithful. That is not just being pissed, it's being a rubbish partner.

I used to walk hand in hand (or cuddling) with mine & dh's best (male) friend. Dh was there too & it never bothered him. Completely innocent & just what we used to do.

Have just seen your last post, as there was potential for it to go further, then what I posted seems trivial somehow. So sorry, OP.

I was married for 28yrs when my dh became friends with a collegue at work (female). Just friends! He would even give her a hug if she was upset, visit her at hospital when she was ill.
I asked MNers what they thought....should I tell him I was uncomfortable with this? He said he would let the friendship go if it bothered me.
I said it was fine.
MNers told me I was making a mistake!

I have now been separated for nearly 2yrs.

Listen to the adivice you get here....and take this seriously!

Hope you are ok, OP

Can you elaborate any further ?

A grown man shouldn't be out getting wasted like this when he has a wife at home who is trying to hold it together for their babies. He is not a teenager.

I hope everything is ok OP.

I think everything is okay, actually.

Sharrie, you were right - just nasty gossip. Not really sure why the person said what they did, but have spoken to a very close friend who was there who has absolutely reassured me nothing happened.

Sorry to seem like I was drip feeding, I've spent last night/most of today an absolute wreck.

You have bigger things on your mind op, I doubt anybody's minds!