to think that things in your supermarket trolley aren't yours until you have paid for them

[jandymaccomesback]

This morning in Tesco we kept passing a womanwith a child in a trolley. We first saw her in fruit and veg, as she peeled a banana and handed it to the child. Next time we saw her the child was eating from a packet of cheese strings. Finally we saw her opening a carton of juice. All of these things came off the shelf. DH was so enraged he wanted to tell the staff, but I persuaded him not to. To me this is wrong, even if you intend to pay,and definitely gives a message to the child that she can help herslf. AIBU?

Maybe the child was diabetic and needed carbs/sugar

You are joking, right???? you are??? you must be????

Are you seriously suggesting that parents of a diabetic child would not ensure that the child's needs were adequately taken care of before taking a trip out? That they wouldn't carry something in case the child's blood sugar level dropped?

Are such parents....(and adult supermarket muncher) also un-prepared when taking other trips out? how do they cope if they (or their children) have hunger pangs on a bus say...or on the tube, or in the park, or coming home from school?

Oooh, the people who are getting on their high horses about this are really irritating me and I can't quite put my finger on why!

Possibly because you find it hard to tolerate anyone with a view that happens to be contrary to your own...

Because they're self-righteous.
Holier than thou.
Only see what's in front of them, not the bigger picture.

For example not taking into account the size and scale of the business, its marketing, its attitude towards various aspects of customer behaviour and so on. What might be appropriate in a big supermarket, or tolerated, is not necessarily the same as what is tolerated in a small, independently run shop, for example, because margins are completely different. But then again, in a small food shop you are a lot more likely to be given good service and as often as not a little morsel to keep your kids quiet in the first place - for example, in our local butcher's, they serve little samples of sausages and home made bread for all, which shuts the kids up very nicely in the queue as well.

So it's all about taking a pragmatic approach to customer management. Those families feeding their children the odd breadstick and paying for it at the end are going to be amongst the biggest spenders in the supermarket, with each of them being worth £5k-£10k a year or more to the business. And that's business worth hanging on to, which is why it's worth accommodating their desire/need/preference to do this.

I think it's because you all remind me of my MIL

I would think any diabetic/ parent of a diabetic child would carry glucose tablets such as dextrasol and savorie biscuits and juice TBH but you know what not everyone always does and sometimes blood sugar does odd things, although I think the cheese strings would be no help to man nor beast

Or what BoffinMum said

I admit to taking DS1 to Sainsburys when he was quite small and him wanting a banana so I went and paid for one and kept the receipt and let him eat it as he was sat in the trolley, some old woman came up and had a right go about me "stealing" food smiled sweetly as I showed her the receipt and told her to fuck right off have a nice day

And there was me thinking store managers were still targeted on shrinkage. My bad.

Well, it's not shrinkage if people are paying for it.
The supermarket that puts little 50p fruit/breadstick bags on the way in with a simple means of paying for them will achieve a parental marketing coup, I reckon.

What is more shocking is store managers who "damage" stock and the buy it at the marked down price as my Ex BIL used to

You can't really use the 'it never used to happen argument' as shopping was very different. In and out of lots of smaller shops (where you weren't long in store and could give child food in-between). Supermarkets are bigger these days and it takes longer..

DD is at an age where she doesn't really understand the concept of 'why can't i have a banana when there's a massive stack there' or 'not take everything of the shelves'. (She's only just learning she can't just hop onto other children bkikes at the playground) Hopefully as she gets nearer 2 that will change. 9/10 I take her a snack with us but am always paranoid someone will ask whether it from the store or not. Although the time we found out she'd been munching a bread stick was because the staff were making nice friendly comments about it.

Exactly BoffinMum, I've just worked out I spend about £9K a year in my local supermarket, I have probably fed my children (when babies or young toddlers) the equivalent of £3 worth of food in 6 years, which I have paid for prior to leaving. Any supermarket that wishes to lose my 54k for the sake of £3 (which was paid at prior to leaving anyway) can object away.

I wouldn't do it in smaller shops as I'm not in there long enough to need to, yes I do expect even a baby to wait 10 minutes, but I'm sometimes in a supermarket for over an hour.

Also, if I were to take my own breadsticks with me how would you tell the difference, surely you'd just presume it was one I'd just taken from the shelves anyway?

Well when I was tiny giving the kids grapes as you went round Tesco was an accepted part of life and I'm years old and very middle class indeed.

Oh, I expect managers are targeted on shrinkage. They want as much profit as possible, after all.

Nevertheless, the local supermarkets to me don't seem to have instituted a blanket-ban on "grazing". Perhaps they think that the gains they'd make through preventing grazing-Without-intention-to-pay would be cancelled out by lost customers.

Many towns (obviously not all) have supermarkets placed in close competition with each other. I, a customer, have only fed my offspring food-Before-paying in the supermarket once, but the knowledge that I could, makes supermarket shopping seem a much less gruelling prospect. Thus, I visit more, and I indulge in impulse purchasing, thus they receive more money.

Accepted by whom? I remember how annoyed staff in our local Safeway used to get when people pillaged the grapes...

Penguinarmy - she will only get the concept if you teach her it - weirdly I never ever had a problem with a tantrum caused by not letting my daughter unpaid for goods, as I did what I always do when she wants something she can't have - say "no", explain and distract with something else.

How should a child understand that she's suddenly not allowed it anymore just because she's older, when it always had been ok in the past?

Surely grapes are different as they are paid for by weight? Therefore that is profit lost.

Whereas these days lots of fruit is pre-bagged weighed and priced, so you could open a bag of bananas, give your child one and still pay the same at the checkout for your bag of bananas.

But pillaging and starting something you're going to pay for anyway are totally different surely?
Anyway since the supermarkets are ripping us off, shafting our farmers and ruining our town centres, they owe us I think.
I'm reminded of a thread a while ago where someone had said MN was superficial. Total rubbish, this is a massive issue, we're clearly on the brink of societal breakdown.

Duvet, I know! It is obvious that breaking into multipacks of jooosmummyjoosithirstyjoos is what presaged the rioting in London?

Give a one year old a biscuit in Tesco today, and in 20 years' time, she will demand a 32 HD TV from Currys without paying!

Dammit, excess query mark there. I was laughing at my own joke thinking I might have communicated effectively, until I saw that.

I think you have a legitimate concern there jessie, although it will probably be bigger than a 32 inch.

Children can't understand a concept until they can and all children are different

Am not sure if I am secretly enjoying the self righteous of posters here or overcome with the need to face palm

This used to really piss me off.

Then I had a child myself. Usually I do go prepared if we go shopping - as in have snacks and her water cup with me. On a couple of occasions I have given her something out of the trolley to eat - once as I'd forgotten to bring a snack and she was playing up and yes, it kept her quiet; the other time I didn't have a snack as we'd nipped on the way home unexpectedly for a few bits and bobs. Always from something that's pre-priced. I don't really see the problem - much less hassle for the store than me having to ditch a full trolley of shopping before I'd bought it in the middle of the store if she had a tantrum! And if one of the staff in the store asked me not to do this then I would respect that.

I'm not sure why kids aren't supposed to be adaptable to the fact that different rules are appropriate at different stages.

If you've got a newly toilet trained toddler desperate for a wee and you can't get to a bathroom in time it's considered perfectly okay to whip a potty out and let them have a descrete wee in an alley way, and find somewhere appropriate to dispose of the wee afterwards. They're not going to still expect to be able to do that at 10! (They probably will when they're 18 and plastered though...)