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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that things in your supermarket trolley aren't yours until you have paid for them

491 replies

jandymaccomesback · 08/10/2011 15:52

This morning in Tesco we kept passing a womanwith a child in a trolley. We first saw her in fruit and veg, as she peeled a banana and handed it to the child. Next time we saw her the child was eating from a packet of cheese strings. Finally we saw her opening a carton of juice. All of these things came off the shelf. DH was so enraged he wanted to tell the staff, but I persuaded him not to. To me this is wrong, even if you intend to pay,and definitely gives a message to the child that she can help herslf. AIBU?

OP posts:
SpectralHarrassmentPandaPop · 08/10/2011 18:21

Which I don't. But continue to teach you kids to call people like me stupid. I'm sure they're delightful.

Original poster
jandymaccomesback · 08/10/2011 18:23

Lol at the thought of DH making a citizens arrest.

OP posts:
GuillotinedMaryLacey · 08/10/2011 18:23

But you know when they need feeding, so why on earth would you go to do a huge shop over lunchtime or whatever. Let's assume for a moment that you don't have a job that requires you work every hour of the day that the shops are open except one, which happens to be at lunchtime.

Same for kids whose low blood sugar sends them crazy. You know this. I have the same issue, I feel really shaky and faint when my blood sugar drops. So I know how to handle it and that doesn't involve ripping open a packet of cheese strings.

Still not seeing the necessity.

Allboxedin · 08/10/2011 18:23

...maybe your husband should stop going shopping with you and sit in the car and read a book instead? Grin

Original poster
jandymaccomesback · 08/10/2011 18:23

He'd have fun trying to prove the child ate the banana Grin

OP posts:
SpectralHarrassmentPandaPop · 08/10/2011 18:25

My kids may be odd but they don't just get hungry at lunchtime Confused

Pudding2be · 08/10/2011 18:25

Can I just say the law states shoplifting occurs when the item is remover from the store, ask any police officer

TheControversialJessie · 08/10/2011 18:26

Look, children develop gradually, at different rates, both physically, and emotionally.

For example, a baby needs to be fed now, on cue, whereas I, as an adult, can generally go four to six hours between meals. Different rules apply, depending on age.

SpectralHarrassmentPandaPop · 08/10/2011 18:26

Also I have no problem ripping open a pack of Cheesestrings and paying for them with the rest of my shopping as I leave. And neither does the law. So why would I change the way I do things because of some tutting on Mumsnet?

Pudding2be · 08/10/2011 18:27

So as payment happens before it's taken out, does it really matter?

So to everyone who agrees with the op, do you pay for EVERYTHING in advance? If not then your not in a position to judge

IWantWine · 08/10/2011 18:32

SpectralHarrassmentPandaPopOkay, so you will pay for anything that your kids have consumed. But are you not breaking any law? I would not know.

I think it is sending a very confused message to your children.

You cant go into any other kind of shop and consume/use the goods at will!

To me this is totally black and white! You have not paid for those goods so they are not yours! And I really do not accept your comments!

Surely you feed your children before you go shopping? What are you letting yourself in for? How old are your children? Are they going to expect you to give them whatever they demand while you shop? Even if you cant make sure they have a meal.. you can make sure they are not that hungry!

MrsHeffley · 08/10/2011 18:33

Guill they're just kids,sorry but when I feel shaky I feel shaky same as the dc.

My life is frantic,I always had to do the shop on my own and before the dc were in school we were often doing it after something else so exact schedules were not kept to and I had often run out of pretty much everything. Sorry do you really think the rest of Sainsburys wanted to share their shopping experience with my 3 screaming babies for the sake of a bag of Organix.

I also have to say if I was to trot round the shop with dd all on her own it would have been a whole different ball game to doing it with the dtwin boys too. 3 toddlers equals a writhing mass which only a bag of Organix would calm.

Couldn't give a monkey's arse what anybody thinks,a weeks shop with 3 tiny toddlers is hell and until there is a big sign up forbidding the consuming of items before payment(which there never will be as supermarkets will do anything to woo mothers and their £150 weekly shop) I'll do what I damn well please. Grin

WidowWadman · 08/10/2011 18:34

Pudding2be - surely by putting it into your stomach you are removing it from the store - no matter whether you're in it or not. You're stomach is no shopping trolley.

At the moment of your consumption it is not obvious whether you intend to pay or just let the wrapper disappear somewhere. (Not even mentioning food sold by weight.

WidowWadman · 08/10/2011 18:34

Your, not you're. Aargh

mercibucket · 08/10/2011 18:34

Why wait for lovely freshly baked warm baguettes to go all cold and boring? Anyone with any sense surely has a nibble!

TheControversialJessie · 08/10/2011 18:35

It's amazing here sometimes. Never thought I could've managed to be so controversial by giving an 11 month old a biscuit.

It's awesome.

lucky24 · 08/10/2011 18:37

I do this all the time, DS today had a banana (pre priced packet), a squeezable yoghurt and a drink. It didn't even cross my mind the people would be judging me. But i keeps my DS quite so i really don't give a stuff what you or your DH think, it all gets aid for.

The staff know they scan the opened packets and none of them have ever said anything.

Love the suggestion to take snacks from home, if i still had plenty of food at home i wouldn't be going shopping.

MrsHeffley · 08/10/2011 18:37

Your stomach is in the store.

I used to work in retail,store detectives are everywhere,never once have I been told not to do it only encouraged so quite obviously it's legal and shops aren't the slightest bit bothered.

SpectralHarrassmentPandaPop · 08/10/2011 18:42

It's never been a problem. My kids are nearly 2 and 4. The 4 year old doesn't usually need anything but the 2yo often does. Whether they have eaten just before we leave will depend on what time we go out. I often take the kids out all day at the weekend and get shopping on the way home. I usually take plenty of snacks but occasionally forget or run out. As I said I'm not breaking any law so if people want to get themselves in a state over it that's up to them.
I don't see how it's confusing. Thereretically you wouldn't be breaking the law to put a bit of handcream on in Boots or something while you were in the queue to pay - so long as you paid before you left the store.

GuillotinedMaryLacey · 08/10/2011 18:42

Warm bread is the only excuse I'm willing to accept Wink :o

TheControversialJessie · 08/10/2011 18:44

Oh, this is silly.

We change our expectations of children, according to their capabilities! As they grow, so do our expectations!

It's perfectly possible to change the rules on biscuit-eating between 11 months, and 30 months, for example.

SpectralHarrassmentPandaPop · 08/10/2011 18:45

Also to answer whether my kids expect to have whatever they like - no they don't. But I don't with hold stuff from my kids without any reason.

Allboxedin · 08/10/2011 18:52

Well if we were 'proper' parents warm bread would be made at home and we wouldn't allow our kids to eat shop junk! Grin

BoffinMum · 08/10/2011 18:55

People only do it with noisy toddlers. Obv if a ten year old fancies a bag of Haribo in the store he/she is going to get very short shrift from the average parent.

ShellyBoobs · 08/10/2011 18:58

People only do it with noisy toddlers.

No they don't.