to expect anybody to care that I'm afraid?

[cantreachmytoes]

I'm 41+6 days pregnant. Induction (pictocin/sythocin or whatever it's called) date not set, but obviously looking incredibly close. This is my first child.

I am completely exhausted - the last two weeks have been more tiring both physically and mentally than two months in the rest of the pregnancy.

As I understand it, induction is a last resort, because the contractions are more painful and it leads to more interventions - i.e., doctors will allow an elective cesarian, but not an elective induction.

Almost everybody, both those who have given birth and those who haven't, seem to think that it's 'just' an induction and that my fears about it are all unfounded, if they even pause from talking 'how great it'll be to meet your little guy' and then go on about how amazing their kids are.

It's not something I've been going on about and I haven't been the pregnant woman who has spent 9 months talking incessantly about their pregnancy.

AIBU to expect very good friends to care in the slightest? I'm actually afraid and nobody seems to care (other than my poor husband, who is also starting to get a bit worried).

wanttosleepnow and Arion - that's very interesting. I didn't realise that you could go 21 days late! Not sure if I can cope with another 7 days, but good to know! I am being monitored every second day and the amniotic fluid decreased between the last two times, so I'm not sure if it'll be ok to continue on much longer.

Thanks everyone for your stories too - it's brilliant to read some non-horror induction stories. Very uplifting. I have to go now but will be back later. Am all ears for more!

Another pro-choicer here - I was induced with DC1 (and shouldn't have been, Bishops Score of 0 at 42 weeks.) for no reason other than dates.

Following that, I had intervention free home births, one at 41 +5 and one at 42 +3. Nothing wrong with either baby, I consented to additional scans and monitoring to make sure.

Don't read horror stories - but do inform yourself.

Good luck!

I had very, very similar experiences to NacMacFeegle with my 3 DCs. While I won't try to talk you out of induction as such, it's worth pointing out that induction is not compulsory and some of us just do have longer pregnancies than others.

It's horrible the way that, the day you go past your 'due date', everyone starts talking as if you've somehow gone wrong and can't possibly give birth naturally. Please don't get so stressed out by it all that you end up being induced just to get it all over with. And don't spoil the last few days of your pregnancy by knackering yourself out with long walks and pineapple-eating contests either!

YANBU - but I think the fact that you are so far along is clouding your judgement a little bit.

I was induced in my first pregnancy, and although I have nothing to compare to (yet - 38 weeks tomorrow!) I can tell you it was a very positive experience.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave. ~Mark Twain

It's okay to be afraid. Giving birth to another person, however you do it, is bloody terrifying!

Often people really don't know how to deal with your fear - they don't want to risk making it worse so they pretend that it isn't happening, or that you are being daft.

Ultimately though, YOU are the only person who can do this. Whatever anyone else does, or says, this is your job. I didn't quite believe that until I was quite far on in labour - but suddenly I did believe it. I knew that there was just me and my baby and that I HAD to master the fear. And I did. And actually, everyone does. I've talked to lots of women about this. There is always the moment in any birth, whether 100% natural, induced, a c-section, whatever, when you have to get through that fear. And on the other side of it is your baby.

You can do this, OP. Spend these last few days (or hours!) looking after yourself. Eat and sleep as much as you can. Do some yoga or just loaf about, but try and think positively. You might well find that if you "accept" that you are going to be induced your body actually gets on with it itself. Good luck!

I know how you feel, I spent the last week of my 2nd pregnancy in tears because once I had a date to be induced I was terrified. All ended up ok, but with my 3rd I was sure I wasn't going to be induced, I said I'd rather have an elective section than be induced (there was no problem with elec section as I had previous section). My dd arrived in her own sweet time when I was 42 + 2, and I was so much happier throughout that pregnancy. It is important that women know they have a choice I think.

Cantreach I was induced for my first, I can't say it hurt much. The pain was quite manageable with a tens machine. I did end up with an emcs, but it wasn't that bad and I recovered quickly. It doesn't have to be a nightmare.

I'm now 38 weeks and feeling a little apprehensive too so I don't blame you. I'm trying not to worry about what is going to happen and hope I will be able to take things as they come.

Good luck!

My dd's birth was as far from my birth plan as to be unimaginable. But it was OK, not what I DREAMT of mayhe, but I delivered a healthy 8ib dd who is the light of my life 7 years on. I was scared beforehand, but when contractions started (I was induced) it was like my body took over from my brain - I was not scared at any point throughout. Dd and I survived the experience - and I would do it all again, if i wasn't so old.

Another one who had an induction, and it went fine.
I'll give you the worst bits:

1. Driving to hospital, knowing that shortly I would be put into pain and not knowing really how much pain or whether I would cope. I found going in to be induced very cold-blooded and frightening. Once I was there, and was being monitored and had people to talk to, it was fine.
2. After receiving the drugs to induce me, I was sent back to the ward and warned that I was likely to have some cramping, but that often the drugs didn't fully get to work with the first dose so they would be back in six hours to give me a second dose. Four hours later, I was curled up in a lot of pain, vomiting, and getting really stressed. (I can't cope with cramp, clearly. I am obviously no good at this pain thing. Shit, and I've got labour to come. I'm not going to cope, I'm going to die.... etc etc). Then my husband got a midwife who confirmed that no, this wasn't cramp, it was labour, and I was taken back to the delivery room. Funny, but one I knew it was labour and not cramps, I was fine. I thought 'Wow, I can do this, it's ok. Not comfortable, but manageable.' And from curling up on the bed claiming I couldn't possibly move, I walked down to the delivery room, happy, and joking.
   Mind over matter??!!! The worst bits were the bits when I was anticipating it. The reality was fine, and it had a great end point! I did most of it on gas and air, and slept through quite a lot. It went fast. I had a lot of pain at the end but that was because I had PGP/SPD and when they decided they needed to check the baby (cord round neck) they put me into stirrups and that was excrutiating. Nothing to do with the birth, just the position I was in. When they took me out again, I was ok again.

But I agree, it feels as though there is something very different to finding you are in labour and having to get on with it, compared to deliberately putting yourself into it (IYSWIM!) The same difference between falling and breaking your arm, and having to deal with it, and deliberately breaking it! But the fear was definitely the worst bit of my experience, not the actual experience. Good luck, and if you need to go and look at a baby-gro to get you through, do! If you know what the first outfit will be, go and study it and imagine your baby in it and try to get your thoughts off what will happen between now and then.

I had 3 inductions:

1. 4 hours from waters breaking to birth
2. 8 hours " "
3. 3.5 hours " "

Gas & air with 1 &3, Gas & air and pethidine with 2.

Honestly, induction is really fine, for lots of women.

I had ARM ie they broke my waters. I swear I flooded the delivery room and it just kept coming with every contraction. I found this extremely funny - maybe that was the G&A......

YANBU!
My DD is nearly 11 months old and I was 42 weeks exactly when I was induced - I was terrified and also really annoyed with myself that I couldn't go into labour naturally. But it really was fine, and out of my NCT group, only two women went into labour naturally - two of us were induced and the other had to have a C section as her baby was breach, so none of us gave birth exactly as we had expected. In fact I went into labour during the night after the first load of stuff they gave me (gel pack? I can't remember what the correct term is). Actually I found the internal examinations far more painful than giving birth - but I don't think this is anything to do with being induced as many of my friends who went into labour naturally agree. Anyhow, 7 hours of labour later and I had a beautiful baby girl and I soon forgot how pissed off I'd been the two weeks I went overdue! Good luck and hope it all goes well.

PS Had an elective induction. I was only 7 days over due date, but baby had gone very still, very suddenly (not a gradual slow down due to decreased movement, but lots of movement one day and very little the next). Scans showed rapidly decreasing levels of amniotic fluid and a placenta that was starting to not function well. They scanned every week for the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, and for the last 2 weeks I was in hospital every 2 days having foetal heart rate and movement checks. I opted for an induction as soon as they mentioned it because I was fed up of worrying constantly, and the trips into hospital, and I couldn't see the point of waiting until the baby was distressed before we acted - the consultant said that at 41 weeks the baby was strong but was starting to show signs of the less than perfect situation she was in, and I thought - if she's strong, then now is the perfect time to get her out, not wait until she's weakened because my placenta is giving up. Two days later, I had my baby in my arms.

Oh god, I need to proof read. My labour did not last 2 days, it took 4 hours to be in confirmed labour after receiving the drugs, and the baby was delivered 8 hours after that. I was given a date for 2 days later when I opted for an induction... hope that is less scary!

This is EXACTLY how I felt. I was desperate to avoid the "cascade" of intervention that had been sold to me by the NCT. I was properly pooing my pants. At this point, I was too big to be comfortable, night or day and was conflicted about the desire to get the baby out and to avoid anything that involved a needle.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was, after a spontaneous rupture of membrane, my plans for a hypno/water birth went out the window and I was induced. I had been so scared of this, but actually, it was absolutely fine. I had the pessary, which brought on some quite strong "tightenings" and then I was given an epidural and the oxytocin drip. I was able to rest and relax and prepare for the second stage.

Yes, I did have reasonable amount of intervention, which I hadn't planned for, but my son came into the world calmly and I felt a degree of control that I hadn't until I knew he was going to be induced.

I had been so scared of induction, but it's OK. And I am the BIGGEST wuss...

Very best of luck and lots of positive thoughts!

So glad you started this thread, toes, I am in exactly the same boat, overdue and terrified but with induction seeming like the least worst option at this stage. This past week of going overdue (am 100% sure of my dates so that's not an issue) has been just torture - I'm so worried for the baby and for me and I'm dreading labour now because I feel it's going to be worse because it's not happening by itself.

Everyone on the thread is talking about choice but I don't feel I have any choice at all because my choice right now would be to have a Caesarean. That's not an option on the NHS though so induction is the next best thing to put me out of my misery.

I'm glad to hear some good induction stories on here though because I really do feel now that it's the least worst option for me (booked in for Oct 11th) as I'm not coping well with just sitting around waiting for an event that I know is going to be painful and stressful no matter what. It's the not-knowing that I'm finding hard - to think I could be here for another week waiting to see if my body does what it needs to do or it could be that I deliver naturally tomorrow. I just can't handle that at all. At least induction offers some kind of certainty, even if it's only the certainty that my labour will be obstetric-led and monitored and possibly more painful...

I do feel this sense of doom that because things haven't gone 'naturally', I'll have a horrible time. I think maybe that's where our fear comes from?? Let's hope we turn out to be wrong and we have a nice experience like some of the positive stories here...

Everyone is 'afraid' with their first birth - it's because it's an unknown experience. Even if you went into a natural labour you will be full of 'what ifs' (more like ooh-err, what now's).

Never ever listen to other birth stories. They fall into two categories (a) the birth from hell (b) the mother-earth shelling peas.

Your birth will managed just fine, honest and you will take it all in your stride.

Don't ever be guilted by the shelling-peas brigade that you weren't in a yurt, minus gas/air/epidural and 'doing it all naturally'. You are doing the best thing in the world, having a baby. How doesnt matter. Some births are text book, some are shit. If it were that bad, no one would ever have a second child . The female brain has a marvellous ability through evolution to wipe out the pain element of birth. You might remember you didn't like it very much - but you wont actually be able to recall the physical discomfort a couple of months down the line.

When you've had your baby - there are two sorts of mothers that want your attention, the (a) slept right through, latched on immediately, BF till they are 4 1/2, listens to mozart brigade; they want to put you down because you cant do all that and it's their little point scoring system...... then there is the (b) neurotic, pick it up every time it whimpers, oh my life is so awful I cant cope.... they want you know how hard it is (for them) and want to guilt trip you because you manage perfectly well............. 99% of babies fall mid way between that.... they eat, they sleep and they poo. A lot. And the leak too.

OP I was induced with my second, but my first was naturally overdue... you have a choice!! Don't think you don't have one just because you're not 'offered' one.

I have two healthy children and had two labours which I wouldn't describe as wonderful, but now's not the time, and tbh, if I had more money/bigger house etc etc I'd have another SO without too many details (because no matter HOW nice/not they'll freak you right out at present) neither of my experiences have stopped me thinking I might do it again, but neither were the peaceful wonderful sprites with flutes and whale song that I wanted!

YANBU to be scared. Just remember, if you want drugs, you can have drugs, if you don't want drugs, you can say no. TALK to your midwife/midwives. Ask questions.

We can compare notes in a few days/weeks when you're ready, until then, some things are best not talked about in too much detail because everyone's experience is different! Good luckand I hope your experience is a good one! x

I was terrified. I was induced. I ended up having an emergency Cesarean after a 30 hour labour. Believe it or not, I wouldn't describe it as a nightmare. I'd describe it as the most amazing experience of my life. I know it's scary; I know everyone's experience is different, but at the end of the day you will meet your baby soon and you really won't care how he got here. Honestly. Enjoy

Hi OP,
Positive induction stories from me too.

Both my DDs were induced.

Emergency induction for DD1 (waters leaking, but contractions still hadn't started 12 hours later -they wanted baby out with 24 hours). It was OK - quite intense, but I had epidural almost immediately.

I opted to be induced for DD2, since I was a week overdue and my sister was coming to help me with DD1 and I didn't want to lose any more time.

What I didn't know was it would take hours for contractions to happen for DD2 induction, as it wasn't an emergency induction. I was in hospital at 8am, and contractions didn't start til 6pm ish. I would have brought more books and stuff to pass the time if I knew - because I was bored waiting, and wasn't sleepy.. Would also have packed more snacks for poor DH, who was afraid to go too far incase anything happened while he was gone. But DD2 popped right out shortly after contractions started..

Main thing is to stay as relaxed as possible, keep a positive attitude IF other interventions become necessary.

And good luck! I bet you will be fine.

It's really so helpful to read all of these stories. babybythesea hit the nail on the head with the broken arm vs breaking arm analogy.

Prime I hope reading this has helped you like it has me. I know I could have a c-section if I really pushed for it, but I also know I'm an INCREDIBLY slow healer, so I want to avoid it for now. I hope your induction goes well on Monday! Maybe I'll be having one then too!

mewantcookies - I'm going to take your advice of not taking long walks. I've been feeling so tired, but have tried almost every day to get out and walk waddle, believing I'm being irresponsible if I lounge around the house napping all day. Today, I realised that walking to the shop about 100m away from my house would use up most of my energy, so stayed put and felt a little bad for not doing everything I could to get the show on the road.

I just realised tonight after I stopped feeling quite so afraid - THANK YOU - that I a) have every right to feel exhausted and b) every right to feel emotional because I have had a baby inside me for 9.25 calendar months tomorrow! If I take it from last period, then it's 9.75 months pregnant. Either way, nobody told me that my September baby would be a fully pledged October baby and I'd be pregnant for over 9 months!

Anyway, off to bed feeling more relaxed. You never know, perhaps my lack of tension will mean baby will come tonight..ok, have been thinking things like that every day/night for about six weeks, but at some point it has to happen!

Either that, or I grow big ears, grey skin and a trunk and stay pregnant for another 12 or so months... :o

YANBU I was 6 days 'late' (I was on time according to the mn due date calculator - which was the date I knew I would give birth).

I spoke to my consultant and mw about induction and told them we would wait 14 days then have a think (my mil was nearly 4 weeks late with bil).

I would suggest you google this, and decide on the way forward. I do think hospital increasingly want you to give birth on a schedule to suit them. Where my Dsis lives in the US they induce everyone on the due date. Which is just mental.

Sorry meant to add you will be fine what ever you do.
I was worrying about all sorts of crazy shit before I gave birth (should I shave my legs? and or wax my lady garden?) I could barely bloody walk by this point and had carpel tunnel so certainly couldn't wield a razor. But on the day I didn't even register the 3 mw's staring at my hairy bum

Have you asked for a sweep? It's a natural form of induction and may help. Sex is better though as there is a chemical reaction I think as well as the similarity to a sweep. I may have missed a bit where you said if you'd tried this yet. Also try bouncing on an exercise ball for a few hours. That's how my friend did it.
I was just like you with DD1 - fearful of being induced. She was 13 days over the scan EDD and they would have allowed me an extra week if I was monitored. I was averse to even a sweep then, but that was an unnecessary fear.
DD1 was a planned home birth but came in hospital and I'd say I "enjoyed" it. DD2 was at home as planned, but felt very traumatic and distressing even though biologically everything was fine.
So what you plan may not happen, but it could be better.
Good luck!!!!