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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go to the GP about how bullying at work is affecting my health?

39 replies

worklifeishell · 07/10/2011 07:24

Bullying my manager is making me feel very low. I dread going into work. I want to quit (even though I have been there 10yrs). I have trouble sleeping It's causing my eczema to flare up. I am ratty with my children because I am tired and I can't take my mind off work.

AIBU to see the GP?
Would it achieve anything (what is my gp likely to do)?
Will they think I am wasting their time?

And if I go what do I say? How do I start? I have been to the doctors for anything other than physical problems and wouldn't know where to start regarding issues about how I feel.

OP posts:

ChooChooWowWow · 07/10/2011 13:51

Just be honest with your GP they see this all the time.

This happened to me seven years ago and even now seeing this thread and thinking about what happened is making me feel nauseous. My GP prescribed me Diazapam which made me calmer about going into work but obviously didn't stop what was going on. I had no union and going to senior management backfired in a big way on me. I eventually left and I sued the company and received a large payout (I had worked there for 20 years).

The good news is I was then forced to make some tough decisions about my career. I started to work from home and have never been happier. I now earn 4 times the money I was on then. All 4 of the managers that bullied me were eventually sacked.

I hope things work out for you op bullying is hateful.

MersyMersy · 07/10/2011 17:11

Its so sad thats there is so much of this (bullying at work) about. Once it started happening to me I seemed to hear about it everywhere. You are not alone, unfortunately it goes on all the time. Your GP will no doubt have dealt with something similar.

I know what you mean feeling a fraud but that is just confidence as another poster said. I think that when you have been suffering in this way its hard to see at the time just how much it is actually effecting you. Once you recover from the stress and (hopefully) when the situation has been resolved its really hard to put yourself back in that place again which only serves to demonstrate how much these situations can change you. I had a bullying situation at work a couple of months ago and was signed off for 6weeks so I understand how you feel. Looking back now I was so unhappy and was actually ill with it. You are totally right to go to your GP and you'll probably find that when you get there you are actually ready to talk and that you wont feel like a fraud at all.

You will need to address the issue though as it wont go away unless you tackle it. My advice would be that if your GP wants to sign you off, take it. Take it and rest, do nice things for yourself and then as you start to get back to your old self again, start thinking about who you can speak to in your work place and make a complaint about your manager. It is unacceptable to bully anyone no matter who you are and what your position is and you should not have to tolerate whatsoever. Also as someone else said and they are totally right, they are the ones who should be worrying not you. So turn the tables, yes it is scary I know first hand but believe me when the bully who has made your life hell starts getting a tiny taste of what you have gone through you change pretty quickly and you start to feel empowered again.

Once I got back on my feet I slowly started to challenge my bully, I also made him aware that I wasnt going to suffer in silence and I made another manager aware of what he wa doing. Bullys like to operate in secret, they thrive in it. Start talking to other/s about it when you are ready and I bet you see a difference straight away. You will get brave and after some time away from the situation you'll be ready to fight it.

So sorry this post is an essay. I wish you the very best luck over coming this.

ZonkedOut · 08/10/2011 07:29

Hi OP, how did your appointment go yesterday?

Original poster

worklifeishell · 08/10/2011 09:11

Hi, sorry for not getting back to you all.

My GP signed me off work for 2 weeks and said she will sign me off further if I need it. Although I doubt I could go back ask for more time off - would feel as if I was taking advantage if I did.

She gave me some great advice regarding how to communicate the problems I am having to my manager and his manager.

I didn't come back on yesterday as I had spent so much of the day worrying about work and the doctors appointment that the relief of being signed off felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I just wanted to push the whole thing to the back of my mind. Two whole weeks of not having to see him feels as good as if I'd had the winning lottery numbers!

Still have to fill in the grievance form so will have to come back to reality with a bump soon!

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, really helped me get through yesterday and gave the motivation to book the appointment and actually attend it.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 08/10/2011 09:36

So glad you're feeling better, OP. Can you tell us what this manager's doing?

kiwimumof2boys · 08/10/2011 09:38

Hi, I went through the same thing 8 years ago - I really feel for you, so glad you have 2 weeks off.
I ended up leaving and getting a job, which wasn't better career wise, but was better pay, and much nicer people - which was what i needed.
Good luck with everything, let us know how you're going.

ZonkedOut · 08/10/2011 10:35

So glad your GP was understanding. I hope you can destress a bit in the 2 weeks you have. Good luck.

sammie96 · 01/12/2017 16:24

How did this situation resolve?

FeelingAggrieved · 01/12/2017 16:25

YANBU. I would definitely go to see GP and have it on record. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it gets sorted soon OP.

hotstar · 01/12/2017 22:42

Doubt we will find how this worked out as it was posted over 6 yrs ago.

Lellikelly26 · 01/12/2017 23:07

I went to my GP in September about stress and work and she was excellent. She did say that when people’s health is suffering due to work they advise to look for something else. I did and now have two very good job offers so much happier! If you can get yourself out of that job do as soon as you can

guestofclanmackenzie · 01/12/2017 23:20

@sammie96

I think I remember your thread about workplace bullying a few weeks ago.

How are things with you?

sammie96 · 02/12/2017 14:48

The stress of the grievance procedure hasn't helped me at all.

meredintofpandiculation · 02/12/2017 15:47

Good! Now your GP can, if necessary, give evidence that it is work causing the problems - employers tend to take this seriously. Be prepared to feel a bit worse now the pressure's off, this is normal. Keep a diary (write down now, while you remember, everything that's happened so far) - individual incidents of bullying can seem so trivial that you feel "I should be more professional than to let that worry me" - it's the cumulative pattern which has led to your stress, and it's the cumulative pattern as shown in your notes/diary that will demonstrate to others what the bully's behaviour has been.

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