to expect to be able to eat a meal that's not been reheated even though I have a 8wk old baby?

[bebemoo]

DH is off of work, waiting for the next to start and is helping with the toddler and new baby etc. in the meantime.
He never feeds toddler at a decent time (i.e. btwn 5.30 and 6.30 imo) rather at abt 7.30 or as late as 8). And then complains abt her going to bed late 8-9 and then being grumpy and throwing tantrums all day long because she's then tired. When I nag prompt him to start supper (starting at 5) he always says 'in just a minute....'
In the meanwhile I'm taking care of the baby who is a fussy thing at night and feeds pretty much every hour on the hour...
Abt 6ish I always mention that either he needs to take the baby and let me get on with making supper or he needs to start it himself because I'm now starving too
'in just a minute...'
finally (when he's hungry -from what I can tell) he gets supper going, or if I plonk hand the baby over to him he then goes down to make supper which, even when it's reheating things from the freezer, takes FOREVER and makes a mess of the kitchen.
And what annoys me all the more is that from scratch or the freezer I always have to reheat the food because somehow it always ends up getting finished when I'm once again feeding the baby... at which time he yells at me that supper is ready and gets annoyed that I don't respond (I often don't because the baby is very sensitive to loud noises and will pop of the breast and fuss for ages before I can get her back on) and I usually end up eating by myself because 'he's got to deal with the toddler'
No matter how many times in the last 12 weeks I've mentioned the first bit abt toddler needing to be fed earlier, or in the last 8 weeks abt please can you try to finish supper during a time when I'm not going to be feeding the baby (like at the bottom of the hour rather than the top of the hour) nothing has changed.

Tomorrow I'm going to order pizza just as I start feeding so at least I'll get one hot, fresh meal this week.

[Grumpla]

This sounds like a classic case of learnt incompetence to me. You need to give him a proper kick up the arse along the lines already suggested e.g. "Toddler and I NEED our dinner by X o'clock, you can eat later if you want." Followed by takeaway for one if that doesn't materialise. He's ring a dick.

[Grumpla]

Being. Not ring

[grubbalo]

I don't think YABU in that as he is there he could be doing a bit more, but on the other hand at some point he is going to go back to work and you will have to do it on your own. It's the thing I found hardest of all when I had no2, the feeling that one of your children was going to have to be "neglected" while you dealt with the other one (i.e. the toddler would have to eat late, or the baby would have to wait to feed and generally cry etc). Of course it isn't really neglect but I do remember that horrible feeling.

I got round it by making things earlier in the day when the toddler / baby were asleep or at least more content - i.e. a macaroni cheese, chilli, spag bol etc so that later on all I had to do was stick in the oven. Mind you it took me quite a while to realise what I needed to do - at the time I blamed DH's job for being so horrible that it took him away from me and meant he wasn't there for the whole tea thing.

Anyway rambling but what I'm trying to say is that when you have no2 it can be really tough to work out a whole new way of stretching yourself round everyone, but that it does get better and you will work it out!

[MissTapestry]

Ring a dick! OP if you do that to him you might get some results